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Post by WindSister on Jun 20, 2017 19:25:45 GMT -5
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Post by baza on Jun 20, 2017 19:33:56 GMT -5
It's a good read Brothers and Sisters, and quite short.
And, there's an interesting statement there, it goes - "According to Susan Biali M.D. @ Psychology Today "Until you start changing the actions you take in response to red flags, you're always going to get the same results. The red flags are not the problem. It's what you DO with that information - which is usually nothing - that gets you into trouble."
Put me in mind of a quote I heard over the weekend, which said - "When it's all said and done, much is said, but little is done".
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Post by Venus Erotes on Jun 20, 2017 20:54:32 GMT -5
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2017 14:44:00 GMT -5
In a nutshell, for me:
Because I was afraid that this is as good as it gets.
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Post by shamwow on Jun 21, 2017 15:57:06 GMT -5
"It may feel as though we are being gas lighted by the people we love, but sometimes we are the ones doing the gas lighting to ourselves."
Yup....
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Post by warmways on Jun 21, 2017 16:24:03 GMT -5
Wow. This is so great! Thank you for this, I needed to read it. |
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Post by baza on Jun 21, 2017 23:28:51 GMT -5
This "self gaslighting" is a real thing.
Some of you might recall the respected member Sister unjusted.
Early on in her writings (in the "everything is great bar the sex" phase), she maintained a position that she and her husband rooted often and well in the early part of her marriage.
One day whilst spring cleaning, she found her old fertility calendars from years before on which were marked the days they'd had a root. She actually posted them for the group to peruse.
It revealed that her memory had been somewhat "wishful". There was practically NO sex going on at the time she had recalled as being a time of abundance.
It never happened, although she thought it had.
Further, Sister unjusted was no fool, in fact a highly intelligent woman.
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Post by hopingforachange on Jun 23, 2017 7:42:48 GMT -5
This "self gaslighting" is a real thing. Some of you might recall the respected member Sister unjusted. Early on in her writings (in the "everything is great bar the sex" phase), she maintained a position that she and her husband rooted often and well in the early part of her marriage. One day whilst spring cleaning, she found her old fertility calendars from years before on which were marked the days they'd had a root. She actually posted them for the group to peruse. It revealed that her memory had been somewhat "wishful". There was practically NO sex going on at the time she had recalled as being a time of abundance. It never happened, although she thought it had. Further, Sister unjusted was no fool, in fact a highly intelligent woman. The mind will do crazy things as coping mechanisms or for self preservation. |
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Post by WindSister on Jun 26, 2017 9:19:33 GMT -5
So much of life is really nothing more than the stories we tell ourselves.
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Post by Venus Erotes on Jun 29, 2017 21:38:54 GMT -5
It easy to ignore red flags when we don't know what they look like. I ignored PLENTY of red flags from MY daddy issues. I fell for hubs because he was the exact opposite of ME and EVERYONE else I had dated prior to him. I mean when life hands you lemons, limes seem a hell of a lot better than the lemons.
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 30, 2017 8:25:33 GMT -5
Self-gasslighting? Guilty as charged.
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