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Post by merrygoround on Jun 23, 2017 10:38:32 GMT -5
He is very sad over the end of our marriage and says he will miss me terribly, but had also said he has come to accept the situation. Also wanting to move forward as friends and co-parents.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2017 10:49:59 GMT -5
I'm still calling it a draw.
Some parts of my life are better. I did zipcode therapy, and it has turned out that my present town is a better fit for me than the town I lived in with him.
Not only the personal, "people and atmosphere" things about this town are better for me - but also job opportunities are better for me here.
I like having more freedom to do what I want with my own time and money.
I felt terrible when I lived with a man who said he loved me and wanted to keep the relationship - but then refused sex and would not be consistent with any of the things that could have improved his health and our lives. The cloud of depression in our place was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
So, I have traded in a not-so-great situation for a situation where at least I live in a better place, and have a better job.
Oh, and the "possibility" that maybe someday a miracle will occur and I'll be in a good relationship again. Maybe I'll win the lottery, too, while I'm at it. In the meantime, I've plowed through 13 dating situations that were mostly a waste of time....proof that I'm not ugly at least.
Keep in mind, too - my whole life apart from my love life has been a bag of dicks (and not in the good way) since December 2012. I'm just in a really shit part of my life right now. Layoffs, family illness, and other life situations do not exactly help me to stay positive.
So, it could just be that this period in my life was going to suck anyway - with or without a good love life. Because the truth is, being in a good relationship would not have stopped the other bad stuff from happening.
All I can do now is try to keep my head down and stay out of trouble (not make things worse for myself) until this part of my life is over.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 23, 2017 10:52:42 GMT -5
He is very sad over the end of our marriage and says he will miss me terribly, but had also said he has come to accept the situation. Also wanting to move forward as friends and co-parents. Go for less and less communication in the future. Keep your freedom from a manipulative controller. How are things going for you? Are you back home? Any words with the adult children? |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 23, 2017 11:14:14 GMT -5
I'm still calling it a draw. Some parts of my life are better. I did zipcode therapy, and it has turned out that my present town is a better fit for me than the town I lived in with him. Not only the personal, "people and atmosphere" things about this town are better for me - but also job opportunities are better for me here. I like having more freedom to do what I want with my own time and money. I felt terrible when I lived with a man who said he loved me and wanted to keep the relationship - but then refused sex and would not be consistent with any of the things that could have improved his health and our lives. The cloud of depression in our place was so thick you could cut it with a knife. So, I have traded in a not-so-great situation for a situation where at least I live in a better place, and have a better job. Oh, and the "possibility" that maybe someday a miracle will occur and I'll be in a good relationship again. Maybe I'll win the lottery, too, while I'm at it. In the meantime, I've plowed through 13 dating situations that were mostly a waste of time....proof that I'm not ugly at least. Keep in mind, too - my whole life apart from my love life has been a bag of dicks (and not in the good way) since December 2012. I'm just in a really shit part of my life right now. Layoffs, family illness, and other life situations do not exactly help me to stay positive. So, it could just be that this period in my life was going to suck anyway - with or without a good love life. Because the truth is, being in a good relationship would not have stopped the other bad stuff from happening. All I can do now is try to keep my head down and stay out of trouble (not make things worse for myself) until this part of my life is over. Allow me to offer you this. If big changes, or bad things are going to happen, would you rather have it all happen at once, and get it over with? or have it happen every 6 months and be strung along? When it rains it pours can be a good thing. Change is good! I'm getting ready for that major life changing alteration. I'm saying,"bring it on, all at once, and get it over with! Kind of like sitting in the dentist chair. " I've got to come back? Next week? Again? you couldn't do it all at once?" Here's to new beginnings!! |
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Post by merrygoround on Jun 23, 2017 11:42:03 GMT -5
He is very sad over the end of our marriage and says he will miss me terribly, but had also said he has come to accept the situation. Also wanting to move forward as friends and co-parents. Go for less and less communication in the future. Keep your freedom from a manipulative controller. How are things going for you? Are you back home? Any words with the adult children? Hi GC  . Will do ! I have been updating my check list on the thread "speaking to the kids about stuff". Yes, we have all spoken together. I return to the UK next week and start my new job at the beginning of July. So practically, things are coming together. x |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 23, 2017 12:14:10 GMT -5
Go for less and less communication in the future. Keep your freedom from a manipulative controller. How are things going for you? Are you back home? Any words with the adult children? Hi GC . Will do ! I have been updating my check list on the thread "speaking to the kids about stuff". Yes, we have all spoken together. I return to the UK next week and start my new job at the beginning of July. So practically, things are coming together. x Thanks, I noticed it, and read it right away! Sorry i missed it. Love your families reaction. I believe it will get even better overtime. The word "divorce" won't matter any more and it will open up conversations that have been needed for a long time. Another new freedom! Sounds like you will have your own INDEPENDENCE day! |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2017 13:03:54 GMT -5
I'm still calling it a draw. Some parts of my life are better. I did zipcode therapy, and it has turned out that my present town is a better fit for me than the town I lived in with him. Not only the personal, "people and atmosphere" things about this town are better for me - but also job opportunities are better for me here. I like having more freedom to do what I want with my own time and money. I felt terrible when I lived with a man who said he loved me and wanted to keep the relationship - but then refused sex and would not be consistent with any of the things that could have improved his health and our lives. The cloud of depression in our place was so thick you could cut it with a knife. So, I have traded in a not-so-great situation for a situation where at least I live in a better place, and have a better job. Oh, and the "possibility" that maybe someday a miracle will occur and I'll be in a good relationship again. Maybe I'll win the lottery, too, while I'm at it. In the meantime, I've plowed through 13 dating situations that were mostly a waste of time....proof that I'm not ugly at least. Keep in mind, too - my whole life apart from my love life has been a bag of dicks (and not in the good way) since December 2012. I'm just in a really shit part of my life right now. Layoffs, family illness, and other life situations do not exactly help me to stay positive. So, it could just be that this period in my life was going to suck anyway - with or without a good love life. Because the truth is, being in a good relationship would not have stopped the other bad stuff from happening. All I can do now is try to keep my head down and stay out of trouble (not make things worse for myself) until this part of my life is over. Allow me to offer you this. If big changes, or bad things are going to happen, would you rather have it all happen at once, and get it over with? or have it happen every 6 months and be strung along? When it rains it pours can be a good thing. Change is good! I'm getting ready for that major life changing alteration. I'm saying,"bring it on, all at once, and get it over with! Kind of like sitting in the dentist chair. " I've got to come back? Next week? Again? you couldn't do it all at once?" Here's to new beginnings!! No, it's been happening once every few months, for the past few years. Here's the pattern of occurrences: November 2013 July 2015 January 2016 (2 bad events - including The Talk with Mr. Kat) March 2016 (2 bad events) June 2016 August 2016 November 2016 June 2017 It looks like 2014 was OK, but I was still with Mr. Kat, still dying inside because he didn't want me, still agonizing over what to do. So even though there was nothing like a layoff or a relationship ending or a death.....2014 wasn't great, either. |
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. Will do ! I have been updating my check list on the thread "speaking to the kids about stuff". Yes, we have all spoken together. I return to the UK next week and start my new job at the beginning of July. So practically, things are coming together. x