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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 11, 2017 18:39:01 GMT -5
So H tells me a joke or whatever he save on Facebook. A man and woman are out and joking with their waitress. When waitress says what can I get for the happy couple the woman says oh we're just friends. The man then says to separate the bill and don't forget she had three refills.
Okay, so not so funny when coming from a third person.
Anyway, H says it's been his experience when a woman says we're just friends she's either A: leading a guy in or B: she states that upfront. No mixed signals.
😐😐😐😐😐
Seriously? Then when I asked how many of those experiences he's had, he said oh quite a few.
😶😶😶😶😶
I'm not sure how to take that.
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Post by baza on Jun 11, 2017 19:03:32 GMT -5
To be honest, this one has gone straight thru to the catcher for me.
Is the point that your husband is a cheapskate ?
Lots of people are cheapskates.
I am one myself, but even I - if I've invited someone out for a coffee - pick up the tab.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 11, 2017 19:56:12 GMT -5
To be honest, this one has gone straight thru to the catcher for me. Is the point that your husband is a cheapskate ? Lots of people are cheapskates. I am one myself, but even I - if I've invited someone out for a coffee - pick up the tab. What threw me more was when I asked how many of these experiences he had and he said a few. 😶😶😶😶 |
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Post by baza on Jun 11, 2017 20:02:26 GMT -5
So, on a few occassions, your husband has taken a chick out for a coffee, and if the chick said "we're just friends" he won't pay for her.
Presumably tho, if she says "we're a couple" and / or he thinks he'll get a root, then he pays the tab.
I guess the issue is timing.
If we are talking last week, then that's a huge issue.
It we are talking pre "you and him being an item", then that's a huge non event.
Sidebar -
Geez, this spouse of yours comes across as a jerk on what you've posted thus far.
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Post by hopingforachange on Jun 11, 2017 20:11:36 GMT -5
So H tells me a joke or whatever he save on Facebook. A man and woman are out and joking with their waitress. When waitress says what can I get for the happy couple the woman says oh we're just friends. The man then says to separate the bill and don't forget she had three refills. Okay, so not so funny when coming from a third person. Anyway, H says it's been his experience when a woman says we're just friends she's either A: leading a guy in or B: she states that upfront. No mixed signals. 😐😐😐😐😐 Seriously? Then when I asked how many of those experiences he's had, he said oh quite a few. 😶😶😶😶😶 I'm not sure how to take that. I don't get that hope either. |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 11, 2017 20:13:00 GMT -5
So, on a few occassions, your husband has taken a chick out for a coffee, and if the chick said "we're just friends" he won't pay for her. Presumably tho, if she says "we're a couple" and he thinks he'll get a root, then he pays the tab. I guess the issue is timing. If we are talking last week, then that's a huge issue. It we are talking pre "you and him being an item", then that's a huge non event. Sidebar - Geez, this spouse of yours comes across as a bit of a jerk on what you've posted thus far. Judging by his look when I asked how many, it appeared before us. |
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 11, 2017 21:04:59 GMT -5
Didn't you say you've been a couple since high school? If so, not many opportunities to pull what he indicated that joke reminded him of. Maybe he's dropping a strong hint about what he used to do when on deployment. Or maybe he's ticked at you and is passively-aggressively trying to yank your chain.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 11, 2017 21:06:30 GMT -5
Didn't you say you've been a couple since high school? If so, not many opportunities for pull what he indicated he did in that joke. Maybe he's dropping a strong hint about what he used to do when on deployment. If he had I know at least two of his Marines that would have told me. We've dated since high school but got married in '01. |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 11, 2017 21:06:58 GMT -5
Didn't you say you've been a couple since high school? If so, not many opportunities for pull what he indicated he did in that joke. Maybe he's dropping a strong hint about what he used to do when on deployment. Or maybe he's ticked at you and is passively-aggressively trying to yank your chain. Could have been yanking my chain too |
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Post by baza on Jun 11, 2017 21:36:00 GMT -5
He appears to be a really good chain yanker Sister tiffanycHe sure has managed to get your focus on "why" chasing rather than on yourself and your longer term best interests. |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 11, 2017 21:36:32 GMT -5
He appears to be a really good chain yanker Sister tiffanycHe sure has managed to get your focus on "why" chasing rather than on yourself and your longer term best interests. Guess so |
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Post by lifeinwoodinville on Jun 11, 2017 22:18:58 GMT -5
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 11, 2017 22:32:29 GMT -5
let me suggest this to you. He was foolish enough to say it. You have every right to question it, and force him to defend himself. There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries. Mister "follow orders Marine "knows this very well.
Hold his feet to the fire and make him accountable. If he refuses to give any kind of honest answer and chooses to avoid, deny and reverse the whole subject, then you have every right to set a boundary. "Obviously you need to understand that your words and actions mean things. Your words and behavior can not be trusted. take me home." And avoid him. let the detachment begin and the self healing begin.
This is your choice, when you are ready. You will be sticking your foot in the water, and see what and how he reacts. It's not going to be easy. Things worth having require risk, and sacrifice, but they pay off in the end.
By setting boundaries you are no longer having a tug of war, instead let him do the rope pulling and you let the rope go and let him fall flat on his ass.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 11, 2017 22:34:29 GMT -5
let me suggest this to you. He was foolish enough to say it. You have every right to question it, and force him to defend himself. There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries. Mister "follow orders Marine "knows this very well. Hold his feet to the fire and make him accountable. If he refuses to give any kind of honest answer and chooses to avoid, deny and reverse the whole subject, then you have every right to set a boundary. "Obviously you need to understand that your words and actions mean things. Your words and behavior can not be trusted. take me home." And avoid him. let the detachment begin and the self healing begin. This is your choice, when you are ready. You will be sticking your foot in the water, and see what and how he reacts. It's not going to be easy. Things worth having require risk, and sacrifice, but they pay off in the end. By setting boundaries you are no longer having a tug of war, instead let him do the rope pulling and you let the rope go and let him fall flat on his ass. Thanks for that GC. ☺️ |
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Post by csl on Jun 12, 2017 11:01:55 GMT -5
To be honest, this one has gone straight thru to the catcher for me. Is the point that your husband is a cheapskate ? Lots of people are cheapskates. I am one myself, but even I - if I've invited someone out for a coffee - pick up the tab. Ignoring the discussion that followed, I get the joke. It's not that the guy's a cheapskate, but that the woman is the cheapskate. After all, in keeping with the joke's stereotypical assumption of "the man pays", she is counting on her gender to give her a free ride on his dime but without any commitment to him as a person. Yeah, I know she's not required to "put out" but it's insulting to have your date distance himself/herself from you ON the date itself. So yeah, I get that the joke isn't funny ha-ha, but laughter at someone's comeuppance. |
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