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Post by lwoetin on Jun 11, 2017 13:27:49 GMT -5
I read on another forum "Trust makes lust" Explanation: you can't be "turned on" by someone you don't trust. I don't know how reliable this is, but I thought this might make interesting conversation. Thoughts? I would say Trust makes Intimacy, not lust. I don't think trust is needed for lust. Lust is more primal feeling, where all the other things you want in a relationship don't matter. Trusting the other person allows the walls to come down allowing for a more intimate experience. trust and lust rhyme well, but I think hopingforchange has it right with trust and intimacy. I've wondered whether my w was saving herself for her next marriage and it was because she didn't trust me. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2017 18:52:00 GMT -5
I read on another forum "Trust makes lust" Explanation: you can't be "turned on" by someone you don't trust. I don't know how reliable this is, but I thought this might make interesting conversation. Thoughts? I would say Trust makes Intimacy, not lust. I don't think trust is needed for lust. Lust is more primal feeling, where all the other things you want in a relationship don't matter. Trusting the other person allows the walls to come down allowing for a more intimate experience. When I was younger, sometimes I would find an untrustworthy guy hot, in spite of my brain telling me to watch out. As I go through life, though, I'm finding that unattractive character traits can turn me off of a physically attractive man. If he is untrustworthy, he's not going to be worth the stress and anxiety. I don't care how good-looking he is. The same for other character traits I dislike (negativity, lack of compassion, weird about money, lots of annoying issues with family.) Men are always saying they don't like high-maintenance women. Well, I don't like high-maintenance men. Love/sex/relationships are supposed to be the part of life that feels GOOD - right? |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 11, 2017 22:36:34 GMT -5
Which section, produce or ? Well, for most guys produce would be where the want a woman. I get that, watching a woman fondling a cucumber, or touching melons. Or frozen food, hoping that they will get cold. But not me, my favorite female body part is the ass. So ideally, I want to be on any aisle where there is a likelihood of a woman bending over to select an item off the bottom shelf. Mmmm... Lol so you're an ass man |
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 11, 2017 22:39:42 GMT -5
I read on another forum "Trust makes lust" Explanation: you can't be "turned on" by someone you don't trust. I don't know how reliable this is, but I thought this might make interesting conversation. Thoughts? I've read the responses and I kinda agree with the trust=intimacy as well as trust=lust. I think it all boils down to the guy. Or woman in a man's case |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 11, 2017 22:52:54 GMT -5
A few things come to mind as I deal with my self centered controlling STBX.
My sister in law had sent a copy of an email to my STBX that was a letter to their mother. I was mentioned in this email. I was referred to as my spouses," less than helpful husband" with the huge burden of responsibilities my STBX has for taking care of our large family. My STBX approved of it and sent it to there mother and other family members.
My same STBX who leaves for a week on business or gives me 10 minutes notice before taking off for a long weekend with the same sister who called me her "less than helpful husband". While TRUSTING me with being in charge of the other 7 family members. (cooking, doctors appointments, transportation, etc...)
Plenty of trust when it fits her agenda.
Her level of lust is lower than a snake full of buckshot!
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Post by nolongerlonely on Jun 12, 2017 3:21:28 GMT -5
Ahh yes greatcoastal, I know that one, its the trust that suits her to trust you when she needs something and then doesnt at any other time. Because we are the 'givers', our refusers harness the knowledge they can persuade us to do all sorts of things for them, because its within our nature. Naively, we think this will give us brownie points, a reward in the bedroom perhaps (in our dreams), but in fact it usually just leads to more of the same. There are times when I wonder why I dont have a collar and a lead. ''well, you can trust him to load and unload the dishwasher, but darent let him off the lead, he'd chase after anything'' I'm not sure trust and lust are related, if they are, then she sure doesnt trust me ! |
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Post by h on Jun 12, 2017 4:18:52 GMT -5
Ahh yes greatcoastal , I know that one, its the trust that suits her to trust you when she needs something and then doesnt at any other time. Because we are the 'givers', our refusers harness the knowledge they can persuade us to do all sorts of things for them, because its within our nature. Naively, we think this will give us brownie points, a reward in the bedroom perhaps (in our dreams), but in fact it usually just leads to more of the same. There are times when I wonder why I dont have a collar and a lead. ''well, you can trust him to load and unload the dishwasher, but darent let him off the lead, he'd chase after anything'' I'm not sure trust and lust are related, if they are, then she sure doesnt trust me ! They are related, but only for people who are capable of feeling lust in the first place. |
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Post by lifeinwoodinville on Jun 12, 2017 6:00:36 GMT -5
Well, for most guys produce would be where the want a woman. I get that, watching a woman fondling a cucumber, or touching melons. Or frozen food, hoping that they will get cold. But not me, my favorite female body part is the ass. So ideally, I want to be on any aisle where there is a likelihood of a woman bending over to select an item off the bottom shelf. Mmmm... Lol so you're an ass man Yes I am. I'm smart enough to know that I can't base a relationship on how nice a woman's ass is but I also know what I like. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 12, 2017 7:07:10 GMT -5
Ahh yes greatcoastal , I know that one, its the trust that suits her to trust you when she needs something and then doesnt at any other time. Because we are the 'givers', our refusers harness the knowledge they can persuade us to do all sorts of things for them, because its within our nature. Naively, we think this will give us brownie points, a reward in the bedroom perhaps (in our dreams), but in fact it usually just leads to more of the same. There are times when I wonder why I dont have a collar and a lead. ''well, you can trust him to load and unload the dishwasher, but darent let him off the lead, he'd chase after anything'' I'm not sure trust and lust are related, if they are, then she sure doesnt trust me ! Very coincidental. I was reading the book "Say Goodbye to Crazy " by Dr. Tara Palmatier last night , and I highlighted this quote. pg.120. "Don't you owe it to yourself not to live your life on a leash, causing the people in your life to see you as a walked dog?" |
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Post by Dan on Jun 12, 2017 9:05:33 GMT -5
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