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Post by ironhamster on Jun 8, 2017 7:25:44 GMT -5
Has anyone considered hormone replacement therapy for their asexual spouse?
I spoke with a woman a couple months ago that is having hormone treatments, and it's brought back her sex drive.
I tried introducing my wife to this idea, and, it went over like a rock. She's perfectly happy without a sex drive and is pissed at the idea that she is the one with the problem.
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Post by jim44444 on Jun 8, 2017 9:50:00 GMT -5
She is not the one with the problem. She is happy without sex. There in lies the crux of "our" problem, we want sex but ain't getting it. HRT is a valid medical treatment for a woman suffering from the effects of diminished hormones. But if she is not suffering then it has no value.
What if she asked you to take a prescription to suppress your libido, would you be pissed?
I will assume you and her have discussed, argued about, fought over and otherwise beat your heads against the wall concerning the disparity in your sex drives. So it comes down to each of you to decide if your position is worth getting divorced over. Would she rather split up then have sex with you. Would you rather split up then live celibate?
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Post by hopingforachange on Jun 8, 2017 10:23:29 GMT -5
HRT, doesn't solve her not wanting sex.
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Post by csl on Jun 8, 2017 12:00:56 GMT -5
Basically you have to decide if marital celibacy is or is not a deal-breaker for you. If you decide that it is, then she will have to decide if celibacy is preferable to marriage. I know of wives who opted for the first, and I know of wives who have opted for the second.
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 8, 2017 18:22:06 GMT -5
You can't force her to have hrt. If her lack of desire for you disturbed her, she would search for solutions. Her lack of doing so reflects her lack of desire to have sex as part of your marriage. She has the marriage she wants.
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Post by baza on Jun 8, 2017 22:51:29 GMT -5
There are all sorts of good reasons for hrt, (and some potential downsides too)
But it would be most unwise to bet the farm on HRT turning an intimacy avoidant spouse into an enthusiastic rooter.
Most unwise.
Probably best to select another "why" to chase over the horizon and back if you are of a mind to.
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 8, 2017 23:17:06 GMT -5
... So it comes down to each of you to decide if your position is worth getting divorced over. Would she rather split up then have sex with you. Would you rather split up then live celibate? At present, I have no plans to divorce her. I am looking for, and finding, women in similar situations. I'm patient and selective, and just knowing there are prospects gives me hope I am not getting at home. |
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Post by baza on Jun 8, 2017 23:26:10 GMT -5
... So it comes down to each of you to decide if your position is worth getting divorced over. Would she rather split up then have sex with you. Would you rather split up then live celibate? At present, I have no plans to divorce her. I am looking for, and finding, women in similar situations. I'm patient and selective, and just knowing there are prospects gives me hope I am not getting at home. Just as a hypothetical, what do you think about this scenario - - you source an appropriate person - you commence a sexual relationship - you get caught Hypothetically, how do you figure your missus would react ? - Calmly ? - A smidge pissed off about it ? - Volcanically angrily ? - Divorce you ? |
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Post by lyn on Jun 8, 2017 23:41:35 GMT -5
Has anyone considered hormone replacement therapy for their asexual spouse? I spoke with a woman a couple months ago that is having hormone treatments, and it's brought back her sex drive. I tried introducing my wife to this idea, and, it went over like a rock. She's perfectly happy without a sex drive and is pissed at the idea that she is the one with the problem. There ARE hormone replacement therapies that WILL work for most women. I have, however, had similar posts deleted by admin. I would be happy to chat with you you pm about it. Personally, I would never take a mainstream approach to hormone replacement. F*** no way! There are other, more natural remedies that are far less invasive. Ask and I won't hold back my opinion. |
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 9, 2017 3:56:22 GMT -5
Just as a hypothetical, what do you think about this scenario - - you source an appropriate person - you commence a sexual relationship - you get caught Hypothetically, how do you figure your missus would react ? - Calmly ? - A smidge pissed off about it ? - Volcanically angrily ? - Divorce you ? I do not know what the future holds. She lives a comfortable lifestyle as my sexless life partner. I am done sacrificing my sex life. If she chooses to sacrifice her lifestyle over something she is not using, that is her perogative. |
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Post by JonDoe on Jun 9, 2017 17:00:04 GMT -5
Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor nor do I play one on TV. ironhamster HRT, diet and exercise, or the Nike plan (Just Do It) can work for some, but not all. However, for anyone willing to try to improve, I'd recommend starting with a sex therapist. For a significant number of women, desire follows arousal, which HRT will not resolve.
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Post by merrygoround on Jun 10, 2017 1:19:09 GMT -5
Yep, no magic pill or cream can produce desire of your spouse.
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Post by nolongerlonely on Jun 12, 2017 3:13:55 GMT -5
I need a new spouse pill. Can we get those on prescription ? I'd have a go at an inflatable one, but I'm sure it would keep going down on me. lol
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Post by Venus Erotes on Jun 14, 2017 16:49:23 GMT -5
Just as a hypothetical, what do you think about this scenario - - you source an appropriate person - you commence a sexual relationship - you get caught Hypothetically, how do you figure your missus would react ? - Calmly ? - A smidge pissed off about it ? - Volcanically angrily ? - Divorce you ? I do not know what the future holds. She lives a comfortable lifestyle as my sexless life partner. I am done sacrificing my sex life. If she chooses to sacrifice her lifestyle over something she is not using, that is her perogative. SHE lives a comfortable lifestyle, but you don't get to? What keeps you there? Have you thought about that? You're miserable enough to outsource, but not miserable enough to leave. That confuses me, unless you have a very good reason to stay. So why do you stay? |
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 14, 2017 18:34:30 GMT -5
@venus Erotes, I am new to this. New, in that I am just waking up to the mess I made of my life. So, why do I stay?
My bigest priority is my children. The relationship with my wifster is not hostile. In public, it looks very enviable. I do not want to disrupt the front of our happy home and the stability that provides. The only kid that knows is my eldest, who is getting married herself, and, I do not want following my example into her own hell on earth.
My other issue is my accumulated wealth. I've busted my ass and tried to make the best financial decisions. My family wants for nothing and everything is paid for. I'm still adjusting to my realization that the plan is not going to be fulfilled. It's not mine, soon.
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