Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2016 10:48:29 GMT -5
I decided that "Post SM" was probably the right place for me to post, but the truth is that I'm somewhere in the middle. I started divorce proceedings in October and I have been on the craziest rollercoaster ride ever since. One day, it looks like we'll come to a settlement agreement and get along well going forward, the next day some new issue crops up and everything goes to hell. Currently, we are at am impasse on the settlement and my lawyer will be filing a motion for spousal support next week, so litigation here we come! I had hoped to avoid the misery of going to court, but my STBX just won't be reasonable. I've asked my lawyer to withdraw our last offer and start over with a fair, reasonable, typical settlement offer. We have a good judge - experienced and fair - and my lawyer thinks I will be able to get everything I want, especially since I'm not asking for anything extra or even asking him to be generous.
I am exhausted from the ongoing struggle - trying to get moved out, get our house on the market (it will be sold and we will split the proceeds), protect my son from all the fallout, get my lawyer all the information she needs to file next week, deal with my STBX coming and going from the house as he pleases without letting me know, etc, etc. Sometimes it's hard to believe this will ever end. All I know is that I'm not sorry I chose to divorce, only that it's turning out to be much more miserable than I thought.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Mar 26, 2016 13:00:05 GMT -5
It is difficult. Mine fought on support/alimony also. I was fortunate that I only had to go through mediation, and it all ended up working out well. I lived with him for part of the process, until I was able to move to my own place (he bought me out of the house we shared). It will end eventually!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2016 14:35:26 GMT -5
It is exhausting, and it can seem to go on and on, but take heart that it does end, and when it does, try and take some time for yourself to just rest and recuperate.
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Post by bballgirl on Mar 27, 2016 6:46:51 GMT -5
Hang in there it will come to an end.
At least you are not under the same roof.
At this point because he didn't want nice and
fair...take the gloves off. I would not discuss
the divorce with him that's what you both
have lawyers for. Discuss the kids, the house but
not the divorce. You offered to play nice now
it's time to get a little nasty.
I was lucky my divorce went quick and my ex's
lawyer tried to get nasty at the end of December
without my ex's permission.
My lawyer put him in his place and he backed
down. This was after we came to a settlement
agreement.
If you need to talk I'm here!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2016 21:41:07 GMT -5
It is difficult. Mine fought on support/alimony also. I was fortunate that I only had to go through mediation, and it all ended up working out well. I lived with him for part of the process, until I was able to move to my own place (he bought me out of the house we shared). It will end eventually! Yeah alimony was the big fighting point for us too. I guess that's a common snag in the process. I of course was reasonable, she was not LOL. Well she wasn't being reasonable and she knew it as evidenced by her laughable extortion bluff. Of course I feel guilty about everything so I feel guilty that I made her so desperate. Now she's probably going to have to sell the house and I'm going to feel so guilty I'll probably start drinking again. |
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Post by sand5280 on Apr 1, 2016 2:57:46 GMT -5
I'm going to feel so guilty I'll probably start drinking again. To Phin Not Bunny: Please no. Hideous. |
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Post by misssunnybunny on Apr 1, 2016 14:53:49 GMT -5
It is difficult. Mine fought on support/alimony also. I was fortunate that I only had to go through mediation, and it all ended up working out well. I lived with him for part of the process, until I was able to move to my own place (he bought me out of the house we shared). It will end eventually! Yeah alimony was the big fighting point for us too. I guess that's a common snag in the process. I of course was reasonable, she was not LOL. Well she wasn't being reasonable and she knew it as evidenced by her laughable extortion bluff. Of course I feel guilty about everything so I feel guilty that I made her so desperate. Now she's probably going to have to sell the house and I'm going to feel so guilty I'll probably start drinking again. It is a struggle. I could have fought for more, but I wanted just enough to afford living on my own (my salary isn't near enough for that here). I feel bad for the folks who want to leave and have to pay alimony to their refuser, feels so wrong. Don't feel guilty and don't let it drive you to drink. Your health is more important! |
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 2, 2016 13:40:28 GMT -5
I feel bad for the folks who want to leave and have to pay alimony to their refuser, feels so wrong. Forecast to total an amount equal to my 50% from the split. The financial equivalent of starting over with nothing; no retirement. It's the reward one gets for being a good provider and supporting a stay-at-home wife for 25 years. It's so significant, it can't help but influence the decision to stay in a negative situation. But for men in the same position who are the refusers, I have zero sympathy. They have earned their fate. |
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Post by JMX on Apr 5, 2016 8:22:43 GMT -5
Argh. If I start doing well, there is a highly likely chance I pay my refuser alimony. Trying to figure out how to get him out and fast is my challenge.
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Moetse Tau
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Posts: 87 
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by Moetse Tau on Apr 10, 2016 0:14:05 GMT -5
Although I have not had a sit down with an attorney, I know that I would probably end up paying alimony. From researching online, it seems there is a max of 20% of income that she can get, and there are caps on the length of time it will be paid whether she marries again or not. As far as owning things, we rent, my car has only my name on it, her car has only hers(even though I paid it off). My credit is shit, hers is a little better. There are lots of things around the house that we have acquired during the marriage, but I would not be mad at letting most of it go. In fact, I was thinking back to the days when I could pack up all my stuff in a van and be off in a day. Wouldn't mind getting back to that minimalist state.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2016 15:19:03 GMT -5
I am very grateful that it is very unlikely that I will have to pay spousal support.
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