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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2017 23:44:15 GMT -5
I'm reading the book "The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business " It's a fascinating book that has helped me to become aware of my habits and begin to change them. The book uses habit in both a negative and positive connotation.
Today as I was reading, the book discussed how to make habits permanent. It turns out when you want to make life changing habits, you need to have belief that things will get better. You also need a group. A group could be another person or something such as the forum. It's one of the reasons that groups like AA work for some people. People can see that others are doing better. They start to realize they can make a change in their life.
As I see people move on from their marriages in the group, I realize that it's possible to have a normal life after a SM.
The book discusses the need for belief to make permanent changes.. You have to believe that things will change for you. You have to know that your life will change. If the belief is missing, then when stress comes you end up back in the same place with the same habits that put you there. You only have to think of an alcoholic who is sober. A stressful event happens and the drinking starts again.
I'm thankful for all of you in this group. I only know you by your stories. As I've begun the hard work of changing myself this year, I've found this group so helpful. Especially, some of the people who I have personal conversations with. I know that I would not be as far in life if not for them. So if you find a person interesting, then I suggest messaging them.
To those of you in the group who have made the hard decision to leave, I admire you for your courage and determination. It's never easy starting over. I know that many of us are rooting for your success and happiness.
I can only hope when the time comes for my final decision that I'm able to do it the same way.
For those of you struggling right now and hurting, take this time to begin changing your life. You don't have to stay in a bad marriage. The longer I'm on this forum. The more I realize that many who come here are at the end of their marriages. We tell ourselves it's the lack of sex but often times it's a marriage that is dying or is already dead. We just can't move on or accept it.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 7, 2017 0:24:48 GMT -5
I'm reading the book "The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business " It's a fascinating book that has helped me to become aware of my habits and begin to change them. The book uses habit in both a negative and positive connotation. Today as I was reading, the book discussed how to make habits permanent. It turns out when you want to make life changing habits, you need to have belief that things will get better. You also need a group. A group could be another person or something such as the forum. It's one of the reasons that groups like AA work for some people. People can see that others are doing better. They start to realize they can make a change in their life. As I see people move on from their marriages in the group, I realize that it's possible to have a normal life after a SM. The book discusses the need for belief to make permanent changes.. You have to believe that things will change for you. You have to know that your life will change. If the belief is missing, then when stress comes you end up back in the same place with the same habits that put you there. You only have to think of an alcoholic who is sober. A stressful event happens and the drinking starts again. I'm thankful for all of you in this group. I only know you by your stories. As I've begun the hard work of changing myself this year, I've found this group so helpful. Especially, some of the people who I have personal conversations with. I know that I would not be as far in life if not for them. So if you find a person interesting, then I suggest messaging them. To those of you in the group who have made the hard decision to leave, I admire you for your courage and determination. It's never easy starting over. I know that many of us are rooting for your success and happiness. I can only hope when the time comes for my final decision that I'm able to do it the same way. For those of you struggling right now and hurting, take this time to begin changing your life. You don't have to stay in a bad marriage. The longer I'm on this forum. The more I realize that many who come here are at the end of their marriages. We tell ourselves it's the lack of sex but often times it's a marriage that is dying or is already dead. We just can't move on or accept it. Great post H. This place got me into gear to begin my change. Where you've found your additional help in a book, I've found mine in podcasts. A great guy, Paul Colaianni does something called The Overwhelmed Brain. His podcasts are amazing. I would HIGHLY recommend these for those of us who find themselves alone in their car a lot like me. Hes receptive to messages and emails too. This guy is ace. Check him out if you can  |
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Post by shamwow on Jun 7, 2017 0:37:59 GMT -5
I'm reading the book "The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business " It's a fascinating book that has helped me to become aware of my habits and begin to change them. The book uses habit in both a negative and positive connotation. Today as I was reading, the book discussed how to make habits permanent. It turns out when you want to make life changing habits, you need to have belief that things will get better. You also need a group. A group could be another person or something such as the forum. It's one of the reasons that groups like AA work for some people. People can see that others are doing better. They start to realize they can make a change in their life. As I see people move on from their marriages in the group, I realize that it's possible to have a normal life after a SM. The book discusses the need for belief to make permanent changes.. You have to believe that things will change for you. You have to know that your life will change. If the belief is missing, then when stress comes you end up back in the same place with the same habits that put you there. You only have to think of an alcoholic who is sober. A stressful event happens and the drinking starts again. I'm thankful for all of you in this group. I only know you by your stories. As I've begun the hard work of changing myself this year, I've found this group so helpful. Especially, some of the people who I have personal conversations with. I know that I would not be as far in life if not for them. So if you find a person interesting, then I suggest messaging them. To those of you in the group who have made the hard decision to leave, I admire you for your courage and determination. It's never easy starting over. I know that many of us are rooting for your success and happiness. I can only hope when the time comes for my final decision that I'm able to do it the same way. For those of you struggling right now and hurting, take this time to begin changing your life. You don't have to stay in a bad marriage. The longer I'm on this forum. The more I realize that many who come here are at the end of their marriages. We tell ourselves it's the lack of sex but often times it's a marriage that is dying or is already dead. We just can't move on or accept it. No matter where you are in this process, it is never too early to start changing your life, or as baza likes to say, handing your shit. If you're spiritual, pray or meditate. If overweight get in shape. If you're a drinker, cut back. If you're addicted to porn, get it under control. If you are addicted to video games, put it down and play with your kids. If you do other harmful things, get your shit together. You can't make changes in your SM if you can't first change yourself. |
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peck
New Member
Hello World
Posts: 7 
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Post by peck on Jun 7, 2017 1:08:35 GMT -5
I too am reading a book. About this guy Dick. And this chic he rolls with, Jane. Right now I'm at this particularly riveting chapter, where they are introducing one of the ancillary characters, Spot. It's their dog. Spot's really an allegory for the eternal struggle between good and evil, and I'm just starting to really put it to the grey matter, intellectually, I mean. But anyways, it's pretty cool. And I don't mean to hijack your thread, I'm just trying to figure out how this site works and if I'm actually posting, or it's the eternal struggle between me and Chrome and the rest of the internet.
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peck
New Member
Hello World
Posts: 7
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Post by peck on Jun 7, 2017 1:09:16 GMT -5
Yay! It worked. See Peck post!
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Post by bballgirl on Jun 7, 2017 2:40:28 GMT -5
I am thankful for EP and this forum, to the men and women that inspired me to take the leap of faith and divorce.
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Post by baza on Jun 7, 2017 3:18:33 GMT -5
I think the value in peer groups, is that whereas no one individual knows *everything*, the collective knowledge is vast.
Also, there are various people further ahead of you in their process who's brains you can pick, and people behind you in their process who you can assist.
Plus in this cyber version, there is no scheduled meeting time, and if you are a habitual late at night poster, it doesn't matter a fuck as you'll get caught up in a matter of hours.
And here, there is a level of compassion, people "get it", and for the most part, people are pretty straightup and honest.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 7, 2017 12:39:40 GMT -5
Downloaded The overwhelmed Brain on podcast. Looks like A LOT to listen too. I truly need something like this. Thanks for sharing it. He has soooo much free stuff out there. Literally something for everyone. I think I love him a bit  x |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 7, 2017 12:40:36 GMT -5
Yay! It worked. See Peck post! Ha ha. Hello there peck |
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peck
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Hello World
Posts: 7
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Post by peck on Jun 7, 2017 21:31:01 GMT -5
Eternal. Hello!
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Post by TMD on Jun 7, 2017 23:07:02 GMT -5
Ah, yes, this group is invaluable.
I do believe I would have fooled myself for much longer had I not read widely and experienced the 'tough love' that comes from some members. I appreciate the straight-up, no nonsense approach.
And it doesn't really matter where you are in your journey; this is the best online support group I've participated in.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2017 11:58:58 GMT -5
This group is one of the most helpful resources I've ever encountered. I am a huge fan of support groups - this is one of the best.
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