6 year anniversary and it's D-day apparently
Jun 5, 2017 13:57:43 GMT -5
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tamara68 likes this
Post by qqc on Jun 5, 2017 13:57:43 GMT -5
I have posted some of my story elsewhere on this forum but am at a bit of a crisis point.
To make a long story short, I had reservations and a knowledge of the problems in our sex life before we even got married, and even told him right before that we felt like business partners and not lovers. To put it simply, he has never had much interest. We met at 29, and at only 32 when we got married we were already having sex maybe just 4-5 times a year (I remember I worried during our engagement photo shoot that the pics would look like we were awkward even touching each other!), and he would say when I brought it up that we were just stressed, or that it wasn't important to him and he'd rather just talk to me. I have never had an orgasm with him, probably mostly because he would not perform oral, stating he found it gross. Fast forward a bit and I'd already begun outsourcing by a few months into our marriage, a fling which fizzled out, and then around the 2 year mark, after several attempts to discuss how important I considered it falling on deaf ears and again hearing how he would rather spend his time with me other ways, ended up in a full blown affair, fell in love, got caught a year later, and he told me to get out (then immediately changed his tune and begged me to come back).
I moved in with my affair partner/now bf, who I have been with for nearly 3 years now, but my husband drifts in and out of my life unwilling to give up on the relationship and begging me to come back. I love him like family, and though he tells me he is willing to do whatever work to put our sex life back together, I have no attraction to him, but have heaps of guilt and confusion towards our relationship because I do still care about him. My inability to get out completely has also screwed up my relationship with my bf (who I have great sex with), to the point I feel like I should just go back and try again like my husband thinks I should/wants me to. I don't forsee anything being any different in the sex department though, but now have the added guilt of feeling like a hypocrite because now I'm the one not interested. I'm just not attracted to him and can't even imagine doing anything sexual with him, but I continue to see and talk to him and value him as a person.
Today is our 6th anniversary and last week he basically gave me an ultimatum to either move home today or get divorced and never speak again. The guilt is killing me, it's just a no win at this point I guess. I can either give it a go because we both can't seem to move on, which means losing my bf, or tell him i can't see us ever living together as a married couple and deal with the guilt. There is no good ending to sexless marriages I guess
Not sure there is a point here, just needed to vent
To make a long story short, I had reservations and a knowledge of the problems in our sex life before we even got married, and even told him right before that we felt like business partners and not lovers. To put it simply, he has never had much interest. We met at 29, and at only 32 when we got married we were already having sex maybe just 4-5 times a year (I remember I worried during our engagement photo shoot that the pics would look like we were awkward even touching each other!), and he would say when I brought it up that we were just stressed, or that it wasn't important to him and he'd rather just talk to me. I have never had an orgasm with him, probably mostly because he would not perform oral, stating he found it gross. Fast forward a bit and I'd already begun outsourcing by a few months into our marriage, a fling which fizzled out, and then around the 2 year mark, after several attempts to discuss how important I considered it falling on deaf ears and again hearing how he would rather spend his time with me other ways, ended up in a full blown affair, fell in love, got caught a year later, and he told me to get out (then immediately changed his tune and begged me to come back).
I moved in with my affair partner/now bf, who I have been with for nearly 3 years now, but my husband drifts in and out of my life unwilling to give up on the relationship and begging me to come back. I love him like family, and though he tells me he is willing to do whatever work to put our sex life back together, I have no attraction to him, but have heaps of guilt and confusion towards our relationship because I do still care about him. My inability to get out completely has also screwed up my relationship with my bf (who I have great sex with), to the point I feel like I should just go back and try again like my husband thinks I should/wants me to. I don't forsee anything being any different in the sex department though, but now have the added guilt of feeling like a hypocrite because now I'm the one not interested. I'm just not attracted to him and can't even imagine doing anything sexual with him, but I continue to see and talk to him and value him as a person.
Today is our 6th anniversary and last week he basically gave me an ultimatum to either move home today or get divorced and never speak again. The guilt is killing me, it's just a no win at this point I guess. I can either give it a go because we both can't seem to move on, which means losing my bf, or tell him i can't see us ever living together as a married couple and deal with the guilt. There is no good ending to sexless marriages I guess
Not sure there is a point here, just needed to vent 
