|
|
Post by lyn on Jun 4, 2017 9:23:07 GMT -5
I think their should be a hallmark card for sex 45x in one year!!!! Sounds like lottery winnings to me  Thank you for continuing to inspire bballgirl. Everytime I read your posts like this (and from others too like GeekGoddess, @smartkat, WindSister and countless others), I feel less afraid, and more optimistic. These really help 🦋 Me?! But I don't feel confident yet. You do inspire me @smartkat (and I'm sure that's true for many others!). Your honesty about how you're feeling IS inspiring. The confidence will come - I'm sure of it. The whole prospect of this new life is pretty scary but you are doing it! That's a big deal SK. xx |
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on Jun 4, 2017 13:32:28 GMT -5
It absolutely is a messed up side effect! I've been writing it down for more than a decade, at this point it's a habit I can't break. I had sex more last year than I did my entire marriage- very sad! I actually turned down sex with FWB last week because I was too tired. He responded with "Are you ok?", I've never turned it down before but it was the right thing. I initiated it with a text but as the day went on I felt like I wouldn't be any fun for him so I told him it wasn't a good idea, part of me still wanted him to come over and just use me for his pleasure and let me lay there but I know better. The mindfuck is still there but not as bad as it was. That simple ability to have any form of control over not having sex and not worrying it is the last and only time offered for a long time, must feel great. When the W and I talked last night, she was shocked that I could figure out most of the exact dates we had sex back until the beginning of March. It's sad when my first thought when I read that was "March of what year"... At least I'm not tracking sex by decade like some do. |
|
|
|
Post by baza on Jun 5, 2017 1:53:31 GMT -5
12+ months Sister bballgirlQuite a landmark. Congratulations. Interesting how, in a more life balanced scenario, *turned down sex* is no longer a totally angst ridden thing. |
|
|
|
Post by hopingforachange on Jun 5, 2017 3:00:12 GMT -5
That simple ability to have any form of control over not having sex and not worrying it is the last and only time offered for a long time, must feel great. When the W and I talked last night, she was shocked that I could figure out most of the exact dates we had sex back until the beginning of March. It's sad when my first thought when I read that was "March of what year"... At least I'm not tracking sex by decade like some do. Seeing the down word spiral of my marriage and the eventual outcome in another 10 years from people here, was the kick to try and tackle our issues. I am still hopeful that we can work it out but if not we can call it quits before the resentment sets in. |
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Jun 5, 2017 5:31:04 GMT -5
12+ months Sister bballgirlQuite a landmark. Congratulations. Interesting how, in a more life balanced scenario, *turned down sex* is no longer a totally angst ridden thing. Thank you |
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on Jun 5, 2017 5:52:32 GMT -5
It's sad when my first thought when I read that was "March of what year"... At least I'm not tracking sex by decade like some do. Seeing the down word spiral of my marriage and the eventual outcome in another 10 years from people here, was the kick to try and tackle our issues. I am still hopeful that we can work it out but if not we can call it quits before the resentment sets in. I hope you can work it out too! But if you can't, getting out before another decade passes you by us priceless. |
|
|
|
Post by WindSister on Jun 5, 2017 8:54:38 GMT -5
I am most happy for you!!! Another side effect may also be thanking someone for sex, but now it doesn't seem like a bad thing (in our relationship anyway). I love getting texts the next morning, "thanks for the loving last night, baby.") Appreciation goes so very far in relationships. Eventually you may stop counting, though. Keep living that life and being you - doing what you love. It all falls into place.
|
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Jun 5, 2017 9:35:40 GMT -5
I am most happy for you!!! Another side effect may also be thanking someone for sex, but now it doesn't seem like a bad thing (in our relationship anyway). I love getting texts the next morning, "thanks for the loving last night, baby.") Appreciation goes so very far in relationships. Eventually you may stop counting, though. Keep living that life and being you - doing what you love. It all falls into place. Thank you. My FWB and I always thank each other as well. It's a form of gratitude and so the other knows they aren't taking anything for granted. I am so happy for your you as well. You have a great story! |
|
|
|
Post by GeekGoddess on Jun 5, 2017 10:34:04 GMT -5
In my experimental adventures, I have had some mediocre sex. Loverman was over recently & celebrated the graduation with me. After, I told him "thank you for sex the way sex should be". The guy knows he's skilled. I tend to keep him updated on my other partners, with reports like "failed tryout" or "good but not great" or other ("seems hopeful"). I felt so strange the first time I thanked him, but the recent visit that came out totally naturally. He knows my preferences & they agree with his preferences. (I do wish I would stumble across an emotionally available version of "him" who lives in my own town & who wants to date, not just f@€k). So happy for you, bballgirl, that the tracker is so full! |
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Jun 5, 2017 11:11:34 GMT -5
In my experimental adventures, I have had some mediocre sex. Loverman was over recently & celebrated the graduation with me. After, I told him "thank you for sex the way sex should be". The guy knows he's skilled. I tend to keep him updated on my other partners, with reports like "failed tryout" or "good but not great" or other ("seems hopeful"). I felt so strange the first time I thanked him, but the recent visit that came out totally naturally. He knows my preferences & they agree with his preferences. (I do wish I would stumble across an emotionally available version of "him" who lives in my own town & who wants to date, not just f@€k). So happy for you, bballgirl, that the tracker is so full! Congrats on your graduation!! |
|
|
|
Post by Isabellas39 on Jun 5, 2017 18:47:07 GMT -5
Congrats bball!! You already know that reading your posts inspires me, and I'm very happy to read of your accomplishments since the divorce. Apart from the more sex part, you're living life on your terms and that's what it's all about ! 🎉🍸
|
|
|
|
Post by lakeside4003 on Jun 5, 2017 18:58:00 GMT -5
this is empowering to read - you go girl!! there is a light at the end of this tunnel.
|
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Jun 5, 2017 19:53:05 GMT -5
Congrats bball!! You already know that reading your posts inspires me, and I'm very happy to read of your accomplishments since the divorce. Apart from the more sex part, you're living life on your terms and that's what it's all about ! 🎉🍸 Thank you that means a lot |
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Jun 5, 2017 19:53:44 GMT -5
this is empowering to read - you go girl!! there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Thanks so much!! You are not too far behind! I'm cheering for you too! |
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Jun 5, 2017 19:54:10 GMT -5
this is empowering to read - you go girl!! there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Thanks so much!! You are not too far behind! I'm cheering for you too! |
|
