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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Jun 1, 2017 0:48:27 GMT -5
Can I borrow your friend to pep talk me every now and again?!
Seriously, love her words.
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Post by WindSister on Jun 1, 2017 9:56:37 GMT -5
Great inner work there!  I gave myself pep talks all the time, writing is powerful. Thanks for sharing with us, too, you may be helping someone else along the way. Wishing you the best!! Thank you! You were the first "escapee" when I joined EP. It seemed so quick and I was in awe of you. I'm so happy that you are in a good place, and are here as a support and example to the rest of us. I was??? Wow... that time is a bit of a blur to me. It was quick for me but then I didn't have kids so that helped in my case. Plus we were looking at moving anyway, it was THE time to do it for me. Now you have your time. Much, much happiness thoughts to you... and I agree on the "be kind to yourself" stuff. Divorce is a type of grief and grief works in mysterious ways in us. |
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Post by Dan on Jun 5, 2017 8:04:32 GMT -5
And this was her reply: "Oh Rub, no blame and no guilt. You weren't honest with him cause you actually weren't honest with yourself. It took 15 years to be truly honest with yourself. You thought you were getting something and you got something different. Weird cause the union was authentic and real, and cruel because life deals harsh crappy cards we don't plan for or want. ... Be kind to yourself. You did your best. I've been with you a real long time, and I know things were not perfect, but you dealt with the journey the best you could. You're wiser, stronger, truer and smarter, that's the hardest (and some may say the best!) part of getting older.......😘" Wow. Amen to that. What a great friend you have. I HOPE I HOPE I HOPE a certain few friends of mine (who also know and are friends with my wife) can express the same to me when the time comes that I tell them. Divorce isn't a failure, but a fork in the road, a shift. It is what it is. And if I am to be truly authentic, to live with integrity, this is the path I must take. Thank you, TMD, for this. Like your friend's words above: this is something I know in my head to be true... and I have to get my heart to fully accept this as well. But I think I'm there... or close. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2017 14:10:41 GMT -5
One of the best threads ever!
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Post by TMD on Jun 5, 2017 21:23:17 GMT -5
Interestingly, WindSister, I think (could be wrong) that the deepest grief is behind me. At this point, it comes in waves, but dissipates quickly. I imagine when the split is official, I'll struggle with missing my kids. But hope that will evolve. Think the key is to embrace each stage and do my best to grow with it. |
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Post by TMD on Jun 5, 2017 21:27:19 GMT -5
It's a crazy journey, @dan. But ours to navigate. And we get to where we are going as we are ready, yes?
Wishing you courage as you proceed. Keep you focus on the goal; that vision you have of a full life.
If it helps you can borrow my friend's words and use for yourself. ;-)
I know we don't know each other IRL, but you know you have tremendous support from us here.
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Post by TMD on Jun 5, 2017 21:28:34 GMT -5
One of the best threads ever! You think so? Because my friend is so wise? |
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Post by Dan on Jun 5, 2017 22:06:25 GMT -5
Can I borrow your friend to pep talk me every now and again?! Seriously, love her words. Seriously: TMD : invite your friend to join us here! I know we don't know each other IRL, but you know you have tremendous support from us here. Wow. Just wow. I think there are times when I might tear up to hear this. But right at this moment, saying such a thing gives me such strength. Thank you, TMD. Thank you, everyone. |
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Post by TMD on Jun 5, 2017 22:33:38 GMT -5
Can I borrow your friend to pep talk me every now and again?! Seriously, love her words. Seriously: TMD : invite your friend to join us here! I know we don't know each other IRL, but you know you have tremendous support from us here. Wow. Just wow. I think there are times when I might tear up to hear this. But right at this moment, saying such a thing gives me such strength. Thank you, TMD. Thank you, everyone. LOL. My girlfriend is not in an SM. Maybe I'll ask her for weekly tidbits of wisdom and post to see if anybody can relate? ;-) Stay strong, @dan. Sending hugs. There have been so many moments in which I felt uncertain, unsteady. Trust yourself to stay the course. |
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I gave myself pep talks all the time, writing is powerful. Thanks for sharing with us, too, you may be helping someone else along the way. Wishing you the best!!
