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Post by thistooshallpass on May 25, 2017 13:25:22 GMT -5
Silence fractures the fragile heart.--
Pushing the pieces further apart.
Until eventually, there comes a day,
When there is sadly nothing left to say.
Silence isolates the lonely soul.--
Stealing its warmth, and making it cold.
Until eventually, there comes a time,
When there are sadly no words left to find.
TTSP
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Post by greatcoastal on May 26, 2017 7:12:31 GMT -5
Saying nothing IS saying something.
Doing nothing IS doing something.
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Post by unmatched on May 26, 2017 7:15:12 GMT -5
Saying nothing IS saying something. Doing nothing IS doing something. That is true. There is only ever nothing to say when you have finally censored so much of yourself there is nothing left. |
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Post by greatcoastal on May 26, 2017 7:30:25 GMT -5
Saying nothing IS saying something. Doing nothing IS doing something. That is true. There is only ever nothing to say when you have finally censored so much of yourself there is nothing left. Perhaps, it is then time to be with people who accept what you say as something. And accept what you do as something. Something that is: respected admired desired encouraged cherished. Growth is betrayal of arrangements that were.... Growth is a change that's threatening as well as promising... Growth is denial of something and affirmation of something else..... Growth is dangerous and glorious insecurity! It's time for you to get a life. Yours! |
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Post by thistooshallpass on May 26, 2017 8:25:03 GMT -5
That is true. There is only ever nothing to say when you have finally censored so much of yourself there is nothing left. Perhaps, it is then time to be with people who accept what you say as something. And accept what you do as something. Something that is: respected admired desired encouraged cherished. Growth is betrayal of arrangements that were.... Growth is a change that's threatening as well as promising... Growth is denial of something and affirmation of something else..... Growth is dangerous and glorious insecurity! It's time for you to get a life. Yours! Those people that I need to be with (even if just virtually) -- people that accept what you say and do as something -- are here on ILIASM. I know that within my marital relationship, I'm not respected, admired, desired, or cherished as a sexual being. I am certainly not being encouraged to experience life as one. The growth that I need to be experiencing upsets the status quo. Any growth on my part is threatening to her, but holds promise for me. Promise of a life that's not devoid of emotional and physical intimacy. Growth can be frightening in so many ways, and it doesn't occur without the experience of pain. But if I'm not growing, then I'm stagnating. Or worse, slowly withering away. Thank you for your enlightening verse on growth. As far as life is concerned, I can't agree with you more. I need to get a life. I've been living my life for everyone else. I need to start living it for myself, without feeling guilty about it. I've always been a giver. It comes naturally for me. But as a friend here recently expressed to me, you can give so much of yourself to the point where you lose yourself in the process. Especially when you're giving and not receiving (in ways that matter the most to you). I've been thinking more and more about my needs, but not necessarily doing anything about fulfilling them. TTSP |
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Post by McRoomMate on May 26, 2017 9:03:06 GMT -5
If you have some free "bed time reading" you might look at Benjamin Franklin's Autobiography - in it he mentions among the Golden Virtues is the VIRTUE of SILENCE.
My take on it, is WORDS are CHEAP (blah blah blah), what I tend to "listen to" is ACTIONS and I try hard to apply this rule to myself too.
He/she says X and does Y - not consistent. No credibility.
So the key here is CREDIBILITY and that is when one's WORDS = one's ACTIONS.
What is the saying? "Say what you mean and do what you say"? Never a more sublime maxime to live by.
If my W or co-worker or "Friend" or anyone (including yours truly) is not doing this, then no point in listening because those words are as cheap as the air they are made of.
What phrase did I learn here? "Don't shred your cred".
And for the record - I do NOT maintain anything like a perfect score here - man have I shred my cred way too many times - just living and learning and damn trying to get it right now.
Amen
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Post by thistooshallpass on May 26, 2017 9:05:34 GMT -5
Saying nothing IS saying something. Doing nothing IS doing something. That is so very true. Silence can speak louder than words. Her silence breaks my heart because when I speak and she stays silent, I know that what I'm saying is not really important to her. In what normal situation does someone address a serious problem and the other person stays quiet and makes no attempt at finding a solution to the problem? She's communicated enough with her silence. She's spoken volumes by doing nothing about our situation. At this point, it doesn't matter why she stays silent when she needs to be talking; or why she stays inactive when she needs to be doing. There's a lot that is expressed by doing nothing. In doing nothing she's communicating that she doesn't care enough to fix herself or our situation. She knows that I can't fix it by myself. I can't fix it for her. That's why I've let go of the last shred of hope I had of fixing this broken marriage. It's broken. It's unfixable. That's it. There's nothing more left for me to say to her about it. Enough has been communicated with words or with silence. - TTSP |
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Silence
May 26, 2017 12:07:45 GMT -5
h likes this
Post by thistooshallpass on May 26, 2017 12:07:45 GMT -5
If you have some free "bed time reading" you might look at Benjamin Franklin's Autobiography - in it he mentions among the Golden Virtues is the VIRTUE of SILENCE. My take on it, is WORDS are CHEAP (blah blah blah), what I tend to "listen to" is ACTIONS and I try hard to apply this rule to myself too. He/she says X and does Y - not consistent. No credibility. So the key here is CREDIBILITY and that is when one's WORDS = one's ACTIONS. What is the saying? "Say what you mean and do what you say"? Never a more sublime maxime to live by. If my W or co-worker or "Friend" or anyone (including yours truly) is not doing this, then no point in listening because those words are as cheap as the air they are made of. What phrase did I learn here? "Don't shred your cred". And for the record - I do NOT maintain anything like a perfect score here - man have I shred my cred way too many times - just living and learning and damn trying to get it right now. Amen Unfortunately, I have a LOT of bedtime reading time. Nothing going on there to distract me or to occupy my time. :-( Just wish I could spend some time in bed with someone other than Old Ben. |
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Post by snowman12345 on May 26, 2017 17:12:19 GMT -5
If you choose not to decide - you still have made a choice. ~ Rush (perhaps Neil Pert)
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Silence
May 26, 2017 17:21:08 GMT -5
Post by greatcoastal on May 26, 2017 17:21:08 GMT -5
If you choose not to decide - you still have made a choice. ~ Rush (perhaps Neil Pert) Well that settles it for me. I've made up my mind to remain confused! |
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