|
|
Post by Carol on May 25, 2017 11:56:21 GMT -5
I finally told my parents what was going on with my sexless marriage. I have to admit it felt really good to get it off my chest with my main support system.. The were very sympathetic to me and told me that if I want to leave, I'm welcome to move back home for a while. I mentioned that I'm thinking about talking to an attorney which they said was a pretty good idea. I was shocked at their reaction!
Anyway, my question to any of you who have gone through this what questions did you ask your lawyer?
|
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on May 25, 2017 13:56:44 GMT -5
Not necessarily a bad idea to talk with a lawyer. I'd think of it less of "lawyering up" than educating yourself. An attorney will listen to your situation, explain the process, explain your rights, and your options...nothing more. It will then be your decision on how to or whether to proceed.
I have a google spreadsheet that had the answer to every question THEY would ask me, and I only missed one thing. It would be a good idea to fill it out in advance since they will have you fill out their own forms, but having the information readily available will make it easy to answer their questions. If you are interested, let me know via PM and I will share it with you. I'm not quite out (32 days left), so it is still a work in progress.
As far as what questions I asked depended upon my approach. After laying out my story (and remember, they are legal counsel, not a therapist), I mapped out how I'd want things to proceed and it turned into a conversation.
|
|
|
|
Post by cagedtiger on May 25, 2017 14:34:39 GMT -5
Not necessarily a bad idea to talk with a lawyer. I'd think of it less of "lawyering up" than educating yourself. An attorney will listen to your situation, explain the process, explain your rights, and your options...nothing more. It will then be your decision on how to or whether to proceed. I have a google spreadsheet that had the answer to every question THEY would ask me, and I only missed one thing. It would be a good idea to fill it out in advance since they will have you fill out their own forms, but having the information readily available will make it easy to answer their questions. If you are interested, let me know via PM and I will share it with you. I'm not quite out (32 days left), so it is still a work in progress. As far as what questions I asked depended upon my approach. After laying out my story (and remember, they are legal counsel, not a therapist), I mapped out how I'd want things to proceed and it turned into a conversation. This is what I've done every time I've spoken to my lawyer, and it's been incredibly helpful and more efficient. |
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on May 25, 2017 20:07:41 GMT -5
Some more advice. Go to more than one attorney. You are likely to get different answers to the same questions. This will have you walking away with two things. More answers off of one list, while putting more questions on another. Believe it or not it was helpful. My list of answered questioned was completed and my list of unanswered questions grew shorter and shorter.
Get advice from others who have recently gone through a divorce. Look up a divorce recovery group in your area and communicate with the people there.
The biggest thing to be aware of is an attorney who offers you the moon. A red flag. Do not be taken by there reviews. Anyone can make up their own glorious reviews, or pay to have them done. People who work with these attorneys are a good resource. Therapists, councilors, sheriffs, police officers, court employees, and other attorneys.
One question my attorney asked me, that I found impressive was, " who is your spouse's attorney?" I told her the name. (it was another attorney recommended by my therapist, I recommended her to my wife) My attorney said, "that's good, she's knowledgeable, experienced, and we have worked many successful cases together with collaboration, and mediation, without having to go before a judge. This will save you time and money".
Just a side note: That attorney told my wife the truth, all that she would have to give up. My wife fired her. Now by my wife's third attorney, and almost a year later, I have had more time to discover, and prove, more manipulation of money, and more of my rights of what is legally mine.. Now my STBX is doing a reversal, and wants things to end quickly.
A supportive network (family, friends, neighbors, co workers, etc...) is a God send. Very happy for you. It's time for some taking. You deserve it.
|
|
|
|
Post by baza on May 25, 2017 21:23:58 GMT -5
What did I ask my lawyer ?
Well, after we had done our tax for 2006, I copied all the relevant financial information for "us" "her" and "me".
A month or so later, I consulted a lawyer and asked "how would a divorce shake out for me now, and in 5 years time ?"
She ran the numbers for me, and gave me the answers, specifically for "now" and 5 years onward "probably".
I didn't move on the information for another 4 years when an opportunity arose that could not be let pass.
|
|
