|
|
Post by solodriver on May 11, 2017 0:39:46 GMT -5
"Never make someone a priority in your life, when they only consider you an option in theirs".
|
|
|
|
Post by doneanddone on May 11, 2017 6:22:14 GMT -5
"Never make someone a priority in your life, when they only consider you an option in theirs". sounds like something my wife would say in the heat of an argument. makes sense but still sounds like her. I like it but hate it all at the same time. DAMN PONDERING THOUGHTS!!!! |
|
|
|
Post by snowman12345 on May 11, 2017 6:28:01 GMT -5
"Never make someone a priority in your life, when they only consider you an option in theirs". How do you know which one you are? |
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on May 11, 2017 6:41:51 GMT -5
"Never make someone a priority in your life, when they only consider you an option in theirs". How do you know which one you are? I'll take a guess at that. By their actions, by their behavior, by their words. Words mean things. Respect. Do they approach your needs ,thoughts, concerns, on a level playing field? Or do they put themselves on a pedestal and expect to be treated that way? Someone who is constantly a taker, and is rarely a giver. They give, only when they can take triple in return. When you turn the tables on them, use their same actions and words against them, and they don't give it a moment of tolerance. Meanwhile you have endured it for decades. That's when I know I am being treated as an option, not a priority. |
|
|
|
Post by novembercomingfire on May 11, 2017 7:11:58 GMT -5
Having never been more than an option in my marriage (and a begrudged option at best), this speaks to me. Of course, if you ask her, she will tell you that she had hoped that by being married to her i could have improved myself a little ...
|
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on May 11, 2017 9:20:09 GMT -5
Hmmm. Is it possible to be BOTH a priority and an option?
For example, you may be a priority as far as co-parenting goes. You each respect each other's schedules and do a great job of balancing each other's needs. However, in other areas, you are simply an option. The obvious example for this forum is intimacy.
I think that the problem comes in is when what you consider a priority they only consider an option (or vice versa).
|
|
|
|
Post by csl on May 11, 2017 11:52:26 GMT -5
Hmmm. Is it possible to be BOTH a priority and an option? For example, you may be a priority as far as co-parenting goes. You each respect each other's schedules and do a great job of balancing each other's needs. However, in other areas, you are simply an option. The obvious example for this forum is intimacy. I think that the problem comes in is when what you consider a priority they only consider an option (or vice versa). I would see that as making the family the priority, maybe even the marriage, as well. Just that the spouse is the option. Someone on this board once observed that a refuser wants the marriage, but not necessarily you. |
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on May 11, 2017 12:04:47 GMT -5
Hmmm. Is it possible to be BOTH a priority and an option? For example, you may be a priority as far as co-parenting goes. You each respect each other's schedules and do a great job of balancing each other's needs. However, in other areas, you are simply an option. The obvious example for this forum is intimacy. I think that the problem comes in is when what you consider a priority they only consider an option (or vice versa). I would see that as making the family the priority, maybe even the marriage, as well. Just that the spouse is the option. Someone on this board once observed that a refuser wants the marriage, but not necessarily you. I've also seen it expressed that they love the "concept of you" rather than "you" |
|
|
|
Post by csl on May 11, 2017 13:07:51 GMT -5
I would see that as making the family the priority, maybe even the marriage, as well. Just that the spouse is the option. Someone on this board once observed that a refuser wants the marriage, but not necessarily you. I've also seen it expressed that they love the "concept of you" rather than "you" Oooohhhh, that's good. May I steal use that on my blog? |
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on May 11, 2017 13:10:19 GMT -5
I've also seen it expressed that they love the "concept of you" rather than "you" Oooohhhh, that's good. May I steal use that on my blog? Since I stole, uh, I mean liberated it from someone else, sure! |
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on May 11, 2017 17:34:34 GMT -5
Oooohhhh, that's good. May I steal use that on my blog? Since I stole, uh, I mean liberated it from someone else, sure! Then there's " They don't love you, they love having you around". |
|
