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Post by doneanddone on May 4, 2017 18:25:33 GMT -5
So the wife has now started a new deflection tactic of "unintentionally" allowing our daughter to watch television in our room while we eat dinner and she just happens to fall asleep. And since she is sleeping we shouldn't wake her to move her to her bed. I've moved her the last two nights ti which the wife has then gotten pissed at me and this is happening again tonight. Random...? I don't think so..
It's time for the next level conversation....
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Post by hopingforachange on May 4, 2017 18:47:00 GMT -5
So the wife has now started a new deflection tactic of "unintentionally" allowing our daughter to watch television in our room while we eat dinner and she just happens to fall asleep. And since she is sleeping we shouldn't wake her to move her to her bed. I've moved her the last two nights ti which the wife has then gotten pissed at me and this is happening again tonight. Random...? I don't think so.. It's time for the next level conversation.... F that, kids sleep in thier own beds. |
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Post by baza on May 4, 2017 20:47:11 GMT -5
"If" you elect to pick off the avoidants tactics one at a time, you are in for a fairly long task.
You squash *this one*, she thinks up another.
You squash "that one", she thinks up another.
You squash "the new one", she comes up with another.
And so on.
It never ends.
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Post by shamwow on May 4, 2017 23:16:37 GMT -5
"If" you elect to pick off the avoidants tactics one at a time, you are in for a fairly long task. You squash *this one*, she thinks up another. You squash "that one", she thinks up another. You squash "the new one", she comes up with another. And so on. It never ends. Truth |
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Post by shamwow on May 4, 2017 23:18:24 GMT -5
Why don't you suggest leaving the little one in your bed and go up and bang in the little one's room (on the floor of course... Might be weird to do it in the little one's bed)
I guarantee she is not expecting THAT angle...
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Post by doneanddone on May 5, 2017 6:26:56 GMT -5
Why don't you suggest leaving the little one in your bed and go up and bang in the little one's room (on the floor of course... Might be weird to do it in the little one's bed) I guarantee she is not expecting THAT angle... I actually ended up telling my wife that if she'd rather not move her into her own bed, I'd be more than happy to sleep on the couch or in the spare bedroom......I ended up binge watching last season of GOT in preparation of this season and crashed on the couch... At this point I'm not suggesting anything from her. I know where my cock is, she knows where my cock is and if she wants to have sex, she'll have to make the move...I'm done. |
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Post by shamwow on May 5, 2017 7:21:54 GMT -5
Why don't you suggest leaving the little one in your bed and go up and bang in the little one's room (on the floor of course... Might be weird to do it in the little one's bed) I guarantee she is not expecting THAT angle... I actually ended up telling my wife that if she'd rather not move her into her own bed, I'd be more than happy to sleep on the couch or in the spare bedroom......I ended up binge watching last season of GOT in preparation of this season and crashed on the couch... At this point I'm not suggesting anything from her. I know where my cock is, she knows where my cock is and if she wants to have sex, she'll have to make the move...I'm done. Sounds like a quote from me a year and a half ago. The divorce should be final 52 days or so from now. |
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Post by greatcoastal on May 5, 2017 10:07:45 GMT -5
"If" you elect to pick off the avoidants tactics one at a time, you are in for a fairly long task. You squash *this one*, she thinks up another. You squash "that one", she thinks up another. You squash "the new one", she comes up with another. And so on. It never ends. Yup! Went through all that. Family first! Marriage? what's that? Husband? He's an adult, Let him fend for himself. The using the family for a shield does slow down/end. ( then she goes back to reading books, playing video games, fakebook, going to bed early, etc...) Once they are teens, school full time, working part time, driving themselves, independent, they get their own pay check, in their rooms on their phones constantly, etc..... now the avoid-er has to start other tactics again. One thing you can do is start doing things with the kids without her. Lets go to the mall, lets go out to eat, father son/daughter time, lets go for a bike-ride, show me how to play that video game, what movie do you want to see, etc..... Condition yourself for the upcoming separation that is already happening in your SM. |
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2017 10:51:45 GMT -5
So the wife has now started a new deflection tactic of "unintentionally" allowing our daughter to watch television in our room while we eat dinner and she just happens to fall asleep. And since she is sleeping we shouldn't wake her to move her to her bed. I've moved her the last two nights ti which the wife has then gotten pissed at me and this is happening again tonight. Random...? I don't think so.. It's time for the next level conversation.... I am so sorry she is being so passive-aggressive. Unfortunately, as long as you avoid directly confronting her on this, she will continue these tactics. I am sure you are aware of this. But when the refuser resorts to this kind of thing, it is just a matter of time before the marriage ends. |
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on May 8, 2017 12:10:59 GMT -5
Why don't you suggest leaving the little one in your bed and go up and bang in the little one's room (on the floor of course... Might be weird to do it in the little one's bed) I guarantee she is not expecting THAT angle... My though exactly... or the couch, couch is great for sex, or the kitchen table, counters, hell lean 'er over the porch railing. But I sadly can relate to the 'we have sex in our bed' scenario |
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Post by shamwow on May 8, 2017 14:14:32 GMT -5
Why don't you suggest leaving the little one in your bed and go up and bang in the little one's room (on the floor of course... Might be weird to do it in the little one's bed) I guarantee she is not expecting THAT angle... My though exactly... or the couch, couch is great for sex, or the kitchen table, counters, hell lean 'er over the porch railing. But I sadly can relate to the 'we have sex in our bed' scenario Sham's Law #56: Never kick a woman out of bed...unless she's better on the floor. |
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Post by darktippedrose on May 10, 2017 15:21:39 GMT -5
shamwow - omg thats hilarious.
I quit sleeping next to my husband 3 years ago. It was two painful. Falling asleep by myself with so much cold space. he's so close and yet so far away. Flinching from me even holding his hand. He was relieved when I got my own bed and sometimes gets grumpy because by morning me and my kids are a big bundle of cuddling lols.
I even got myself a special pillow to help me sleep at night. and no, not in a perverted way either.
Sorry you are going through it. Its tough.
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Post by doneanddone on May 11, 2017 9:30:04 GMT -5
shamwow - omg thats hilarious. I quit sleeping next to my husband 3 years ago. It was two painful. Falling asleep by myself with so much cold space. he's so close and yet so far away. Flinching from me even holding his hand. He was relieved when I got my own bed and sometimes gets grumpy because by morning me and my kids are a big bundle of cuddling lols. I even got myself a special pillow to help me sleep at night. and no, not in a perverted way either. Sorry you are going through it. Its tough. The fact of the matter is I am starting to see exactly how little energy she has. She is ALWAYS complaining about how much running around she has done all day and how tired she is all the time. My personal opinion is if she were to get off her ass and do something productive I probably.......maybe would feel different about her "running around all day" but day in day out all i see from her is sitting on the couch flipping through facebook or texting self centered girlfriends and more recently drinking half a bottle of wine or a 6 pack within a short time frame. So do I really buy her excuse of being tired from "running around all day". Hell to the naw! She doesn't do shit so why be tired but then again if you do shit like she does then you probably have zero energy and once your head hits a pillow either on the couch or bed it probably doesn't take long to fall asleep. But to your point about being close but yet so far away.....i can totally relate. The bed is the loneliest place in my life where it should be the happiest. |
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Post by doneanddone on May 11, 2017 9:32:49 GMT -5
Why don't you suggest leaving the little one in your bed and go up and bang in the little one's room (on the floor of course... Might be weird to do it in the little one's bed) I guarantee she is not expecting THAT angle... My though exactly... or the couch, couch is great for sex, or the kitchen table, counters, hell lean 'er over the porch railing. But I sadly can relate to the 'we have sex in our bed' scenario I'm down for where ever as long as there is enough privacy.....and even then if there isn't I could see myself getting frisky in a more public venue..... Not like a full on exhibitionist type but the possibility of getting caught in a strange place or hooking up in a public but not so obvious place is kind of thrilling and cool... |
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Post by Apocrypha on May 11, 2017 11:24:01 GMT -5
The bed is the loneliest place in my life where it should be the happiest. If you don't have a sexual relationship with her and you feel lonely when you sleep, then sleeping elsewhere can at least help you get restful, restorative sleep. It was an enormous benefit to me, and helped me "defog" and get closer to the truth of my relationship with my spouse. |
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