Had to share another classic by Enna. I am also providing the link as the comments can sometimes be just as helpful/insightful for some.
www.experienceproject.com/stories/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/3661509Anyone who reads more than a few of my posts will learn of my puzzlement why open marriages aren't considered more often.
When confronted about my dating, I admitted it and explained that I was not going to be celibate. Leave if you want, but that's on you.
December 2019, my wife reset hard and our life is no longer sexless, but this portion of the post was disturbing.
When I resolved to start dating, I had to reset myself because I needed to make sure she felt wanted and needed. We kiss passionately, but I'm the one initiating. She will ask for a kiss goodbye and it is a spouse kiss, not the auntie kiss, but it's always the kiss goodbye in the morning.
This may be an old habit of hers. Fearing lively kisses would make me ask for sex. I'll point it out. She's been seeing a therapist and I think that's what made her reset.
She initiates sex at a less than optimal frequency, but she's engaged when she does. That's pretty big.
Still, she is not inspired to romantic love. In the event I start to outsource again, spontaneous soul-sharing kisses from a new lover may be exceptionally dangerous to our union. The soft, lingering kisses my wife and I enjoy may pale by comparison to hungry, consuming wanton seizing of my face by a new lover. It's a frightful vision of bliss. (credit to Apocrypha for saying as much, but this EP post crystallized what he was talking about for me)
