what type of relationship do you have? type 1 or 2?

Chatter Fox
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what type of relationship do you have? type 1 or 2? Apr 23, 2017 20:18:45 GMT -5 via mobile seabr33z3 and merrygoround like this

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Post by Chatter Fox on Apr 23, 2017 20:18:45 GMT -5

Apr 21, 2017 20:27:11 GMT -5 @lostsoul said:

Ok, so what type of relationship do you have, or did you have.

Type 1 is the kind where you spend as must time together as you can. You actually like each other and got married for that reason. I am talking in the past..or currently if is still that way.

This is the type of relationship I have with wife, pretty much. It is the type of relationship that I have had every time I have had a relationship.

Type 2 is the kind where you spend as little time as you can with your spouse. Sure you can do somethings together, but mostly you do things apart. I see this with many people. The guys hang out and watch sports, go fishing, or anything to not be at home with her. I cant say much about what the girls do to avoid the guy.
Maybe they are not avoidant but rather independent? I have a great friend, a girl, who never seems to do things with her husband. They have been together for 25 years. At their wedding they were at opposite ends of the hall all night. (they did have one kid).

I created these types for my post, but they come from my observations.

Hmmm... I'm not sure I fit either type. I can't imagine being type 1.... ever. I like my space. Soooo I can't imagine wanting to spend as much time as possible with anyone.

Type 2 is way too extreme for me on the other side. I once felt like type 2 with my wife though. I was so angry and fed up up with her that i just wanted to be very far from her. Those feelings are no longer around though. I like spending time with her again. I am a bit of a rare breed though with my need for space maybe? I enjoy my own company... a lot. I always have and always will. So my ideal situation is somewhere between type 1 and 2. We're not quite at my ideal but after a lot of work, we're closer than ever. Sadly though, her ideal is probably your type 1 so we have always had conflict with this. We probably always will too.

lyn
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what type of relationship do you have? type 1 or 2? Apr 23, 2017 23:39:00 GMT -5 via mobile GeekGoddess, seabr33z3, and 3 more like this

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Post by lyn on Apr 23, 2017 23:39:00 GMT -5

Well, there are many more relationship types than 2. Of course - only my opinion.

When I met my H, we easily bonded over great parties and good sex. Which number would this be?

I hasten to label this past (almost past) debacle with a specific number. What I will say is this, do not marry someone based on how much fun you have at parties, or how good the sex is when you get together.

If there is no actual foundation of friendship, for example, it will not last.

NEXT TIME (I say this way too much), friendship first - amazing sex second.

What # would this relationship type be? Don't even want to guess.

nolongerlonely Full Member SM, like being on an ocean cruise without the ship Posts: 188 Age Range: 51-55	what type of relationship do you have? type 1 or 2? Apr 24, 2017 1:13:51 GMT -5 GeekGoddess, lyn, and 1 more like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by nolongerlonely on Apr 24, 2017 1:13:51 GMT -5 I think its # 10 Lyn, I'll put it in my shopping cart if there's ever a next time.

novembercomingfire
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what type of relationship do you have? type 1 or 2? Apr 24, 2017 6:08:37 GMT -5 via mobile greatcoastal and lyn like this

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Post by novembercomingfire on Apr 24, 2017 6:08:37 GMT -5

Apr 23, 2017 23:39:00 GMT -5 lyn said:

This is a good point, and i agree with you. But the good sex still needs to be at least second. From experience: friendship came first, and sex, nope sorry ...

He said you do need help my friend. I whispered: obviously.

Deleted Deleted Member Posts: 0	what type of relationship do you have? type 1 or 2? Apr 24, 2017 9:54:23 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2017 9:54:23 GMT -5 Mine was definitely a type 2. If we had been having frequent, enjoyable sex, it could have been a type 1.

doneanddone
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what type of relationship do you have? type 1 or 2? Apr 25, 2017 12:45:09 GMT -5 novembercomingfire likes this

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Post by doneanddone on Apr 25, 2017 12:45:09 GMT -5

Apr 22, 2017 10:35:06 GMT -5 seabr33z3 said:

Apr 21, 2017 21:32:51 GMT -5 baza said:

For those of you who don't know me, I was in an ILIASM deal for many years, got out in 2009.
And I've been in the relationship of my life since 2010.

Just wanted to make that point as back story.

My relationship really resembles more "2" than it does "1".
In as much as Ms enna and I have very different careers, hobbies, etc etc.
And that, has not had any great downsides.
I like that Ms enna has interests outside of "us", and I like that I have interests outside of "us".
I see that as healthy and balanced.

I don't want to be "joined at the hip" with Ms enna 24/7, and she doesn't want to be joined at the hip with me.

But when the party is over, or when I return home after the drag races, or she returns home from her book club meeting, well then, then, it's just us.
And at that point, everything else in our lives gets shoved onto the back burner.
Those outside interests we individually have assume their rightful place, 2nd or 3rd or 4th or 5th in the pecking order.
#1 is "us".
And part of that is getting "joined at the hips" in a good way.

Personally, I think that a great relationship needs a few core values common to both parties.
I do NOT think that a great relationship necessarily needs a lot of common interests.

maybe this is type 3

This is all well and good and i have to think and believe that everyone's circumstances and situations are different. We are individuals first and together we can become one. I like that you both have things separate and then have things together. That is balanced and healthy.

When you live with a hermit crab and all she wants to do is stay in and do nothing, or only do what she wants to do, then it becomes lonely and it is at that point when I am in the #2 place. I could care less if she is at home when i get there or vice versa. As long as my daughter is taken care of and safe I'm good.

iceman
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what type of relationship do you have? type 1 or 2? Apr 25, 2017 14:37:00 GMT -5

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Post by iceman on Apr 25, 2017 14:37:00 GMT -5

Definitely type 2 for at least the last 5 years. We do very little together and our separate time and activities is accelerating. We've always done things separately to some degree which is fine but over time separate activities have been come the norm not the exception.

h Senior Members Forum Benefactor Working on step one. Posts: 2,455 Age Range: 36-40	what type of relationship do you have? type 1 or 2? Apr 25, 2017 14:45:23 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by h on Apr 25, 2017 14:45:23 GMT -5 Still in type 1. We are together most of the time and have few separate pursuits. Other than the minimal sex, life runs smoothly.
	Bits of me are dying but others are growing. One step at a time.

iceman
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what type of relationship do you have? type 1 or 2? Apr 25, 2017 14:45:51 GMT -5

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Post by iceman on Apr 25, 2017 14:45:51 GMT -5

Apr 21, 2017 23:05:01 GMT -5 @lostsoul said:

mine is still a one. Each day I wish that I could make it a 2. We are together as if we were assigned each other.

It dawned on my wife one day a couple of years ago that we had in effect turned into a type 2 marriage. She went on a campaign to get us to do things together. It felt so forced. It indeed did feel like we were assigned to each other. That only lasted a few months and she's back to accepting our separateness.

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