what type of relationship do you have? type 1 or 2?

Mine was type 2 the last 5 years. I ran and avoided him as much as possible.

The first 18 it was somewhere in between but there was not much sex and I was in a fog until I found EP.

It started as a 1. The key word to this is time.
Time to learn about intimacy and sex was rejected.
Time spent as a couple was put on the back burner when children arrived.
Time and effort from me to communicate and share trust,was more and more rejected, dismissed as irrelevant , non existent. Anything that could be used to divert away from intimacy was used in her favor and against me was used. This included time for work,time with money,time with children, time spent on adoption, time for homeschooling, time for relatives,time giving and serving religion,time involving politics,time with friends, time moving, time for health issues, etc....
Time spent doing all these things together.
Time together physically while emotionally all in the name of "family". Rarely was any time received back emotionally like the bait and switch of the first two years. The times of" I want to be together with you as much as I can".Disappeared with "I control the family, including you."

 Lets be together, but keep your distance.

For those of you who don't know me, I was in an ILIASM deal for many years, got out in 2009.
And I've been in the relationship of my life since 2010.

Just wanted to make that point as back story.

My relationship really resembles more "2" than it does "1".
In as much as Ms enna and I have very different careers, hobbies, etc etc.
And that, has not had any great downsides.
I like that Ms enna has interests outside of "us", and I like that I have interests outside of "us".
I see that as healthy and balanced.

I don't want to be "joined at the hip" with Ms enna 24/7, and she doesn't want to be joined at the hip with me.

But when the party is over, or when I return home after the drag races, or she returns home from her book club meeting, well then, then, it's just us.
And at that point, everything else in our lives gets shoved onto the back burner.
Those outside interests we individually have assume their rightful place, 2nd or 3rd or 4th or 5th in the pecking order.
#1 is "us".
And part of that is getting "joined at the hips" in a good way.

Personally, I think that a great relationship needs a few core values common to both parties.
I do NOT think that a great relationship necessarily needs a lot of common interests.

Type 1 - though i encouraged him many times to go out and do something independently of me, of us, of the family unit.
And much like GC's post above, that didn't mean that it was quality time for just us as a couple. That meant he made it very well known he was unhappy with me having outside interests or friends outside of the "unit". And there was something wrong with me if i didn't "get" that.

Ditto

I'm not really sure. At home, we do our own thing most of the time because my hobbies are crafting and reading and he prefers tv and computer games. But we both love playing board games together and since we work for the Same company we have lunch together everyday. We rarely go out either together or alone (though I'm trying to change that). So a bit of both but more 1 than 2.

Started out a very unhealthy, co-dependent #1, grew to a similarly unhealthy #2.

Now we are friends