Post by shamwow on Apr 21, 2017 8:06:26 GMT -5
Just a quick update. I went to my lawyer yesterday. My wife went to hers last week.
Sometime around mid next week (probably Wednesday) I will be formally filing for divorce. Because we have been able to work through this amicably (give and take on both sides with the needs of the children always being our top priority), it will be a non-contested divorce. This weekend we will fill out the questionnaire together (and we've already answered all of the questions between ourselves) to ensure that we are both on the same page. That way the main involvement from the lawyers is to draft documents and file with the court.
There are several ladies on the forum who gave me advice on the letter I read to my wife back in January. They helped me temper the rough edges with kindness and compassion. I truly believe that the tone and content of the letter helped both of us keep things in perspective, tone down the emotions, and temper the fear and anger she was guaranteed to have. It helps that deep down she is a good person and mother, just a terrible wife. It also helps that we are both willing to bend on MOST issues rather than fight. Looking around, I know how blessed I am that, painful as this has been, how painless it has been so far. I'm praying that it stays that way. It ain't over till it's over.
She is still not happy we are getting a divorce. News flash: neither am I. But it is something that's become necessary, and we are trying to do it with as much grace and dignity as possible. Will there be bumps? Sure. But right now we are in 100% agreement on custody and finances down to the time I pick up the kids on Thanksgiving to percentages of specific retirement accounts to be allocated.
So, according to the great state of Texas, once we file on Wednesday, any time I want after 8:00AM June 26, 2017, I can go to the courthouse and get the thing finalized by a judge. There are practical matters such as selling the house and such that may move that date around a bit, but by late June or early July, I will be free of my 20 year nightmare.
Now I just need to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Liberating...and terrifying.
After 20 years of this, I'm thinking of joining a carnival...although I may be over-qualified for the freak show at this point.
Sometime around mid next week (probably Wednesday) I will be formally filing for divorce. Because we have been able to work through this amicably (give and take on both sides with the needs of the children always being our top priority), it will be a non-contested divorce. This weekend we will fill out the questionnaire together (and we've already answered all of the questions between ourselves) to ensure that we are both on the same page. That way the main involvement from the lawyers is to draft documents and file with the court.
There are several ladies on the forum who gave me advice on the letter I read to my wife back in January. They helped me temper the rough edges with kindness and compassion. I truly believe that the tone and content of the letter helped both of us keep things in perspective, tone down the emotions, and temper the fear and anger she was guaranteed to have. It helps that deep down she is a good person and mother, just a terrible wife. It also helps that we are both willing to bend on MOST issues rather than fight. Looking around, I know how blessed I am that, painful as this has been, how painless it has been so far. I'm praying that it stays that way. It ain't over till it's over.
She is still not happy we are getting a divorce. News flash: neither am I. But it is something that's become necessary, and we are trying to do it with as much grace and dignity as possible. Will there be bumps? Sure. But right now we are in 100% agreement on custody and finances down to the time I pick up the kids on Thanksgiving to percentages of specific retirement accounts to be allocated.
So, according to the great state of Texas, once we file on Wednesday, any time I want after 8:00AM June 26, 2017, I can go to the courthouse and get the thing finalized by a judge. There are practical matters such as selling the house and such that may move that date around a bit, but by late June or early July, I will be free of my 20 year nightmare.
Now I just need to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Liberating...and terrifying.
After 20 years of this, I'm thinking of joining a carnival...although I may be over-qualified for the freak show at this point.
