video: "Why Only the Happily Single Find True Love"

Why are single women always depicted as cat lovers?

Aside from that - interesting and something we hear in various forms "Be happy with yourself and the right one will come along."

Like anything there are shades of gray. I was actually content with my life as a single person and enjoyed the things I did but I had this deep knowing/longing to be in a great relationship. It spurred me to actively date, actively get involved in the process and, when I met the right man, give up my single-hood to choose him. I wasn't "miserable" single but I admit I didn't feel whole. I know that we are "supposed to" feel whole, alone, but I didn't. Does that mean my relationship is doomed? I don't think so. I think I wanted it.

Many members of our group would *like* to be in a great relationship

Some (Sister WindSister as an example) have achieved that aim.

Some (Sister @smartkat as an example) are in a position where they could achieve that aim.

Some (Brother greatcoastal ) may yet achieve that aim.

Many (don't want to name names here lest I inadvertently offend someone) have no hope of achieving that aim.

awakeforthedance got out of her ILIASM shithole and was thus available if the right opportunity came up
It did come up and she had positioned herself where she could pursue that opportunity.

SmartKat got out of her ILIASM shithole and is thus available if the right opportunity comes up.
As yet, this opportunity has not emerged, but she has positioned herself where it could.

greatcoastal is in the process of getting out of his ILIASM shithole, and will thus then be in a position where should an opportunity arise he can pursue that aim.

Many, are still in their ILIASM shitholes, and are therefore not positioned to pursue an aim of participating in a great relationship should that opportunity arise. They ain't available. They are still tied into their unsatisfactory situations.

Like the bloke in the video says words to the effect - "if someone slightly decent comes along, we cling to them, eventually to our enormous cost"

That is a pretty good descriptor of an avoidant spouse . . . "someone slightly decent who we cling to".
And whilst we cling on, opportunities pass by - except for people like awakeforthedance, SmartKat, greatcoastal. They have given themselves a shot at finding a great relationship.

I would focus on the word "SINGLE" -

For example, I have a very good friend who was in an SM for over 7 years no sex with his wife. He met someone randomly fell in love and divorced his "wife" and he is very very happy after a few years with this new Woman. She too was "Single" in the fact she was in a cold loveless marriage as well. They found love in a hopeless place as the saying goes.

To heck with Dogmatic general rules.

I think some of us can look at "SINGLE IN FACT" if we are in a passionless / loveless SM.

Single should be defined by "state of mind" or "state of heart" - not a legal definition. I will not confuse "legal form" of Married when really single in fact.