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Post by Copernicus on Apr 12, 2017 14:27:13 GMT -5
Ok. So today was a fairly good day. I got stuff done and even a work-out in there. Whoohoo! Then, my playlist throws up John Mayer’s Edge of Desire and everything went downhill from there. I don’t even have any memories associated with the song, nothing, other than liking it, but today it just hit me… really hard. Who was it I was desperately longing for? A woman named Intimacy.
“Don’t say a word, just come over and lie here with me
Cos I’m just about to set fire to everything I see
I want you so bad, I go back on the things I believe
There, I just said it, I’m scared you’ll forget about me”
I know life doesn’t play fair, but some days it's just cruel.
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Post by McRoomMate on Apr 12, 2017 14:42:38 GMT -5
Copernicus Absolutely - this Forum really should be called I Live in an INTIMACY-LESS Marriage - but Sexless "sells" better. Of course I "outsourced" many many years for the lack of Intimacy in my M. The Sexlessness was but a mere symptom. Animalistic Lust fulfillment - no thank-you been there done that - it is shallow for my Soul and Heart which after over 10 years of was starving if not out cold. I do not know your situation - I can tell you mine. Out of nowhere I met someone and fell madly in love about 4 months ago - the INTIMACY is over whelming. For over 10 years I thought "Little Head" and "Big Head" and then one day out of nowhere I rediscovered I had a HEART too. So my point is - YES - SHE is out there and YOU will come across her sooner or later and per my experience when and where you LEAST expect it. However, "Nothing changes if nothing changes" - I did a massive soul search on my current Marriage and ruthlessly honest with myself. It led me to the DECISION that I could not stay in this Marriage and then came the PREPARATION and now I am in process of "Zip Code" Therapy and an initial separation. Whether the current Madly in Love will last or not - I do not know - and sort of do not care - because after 10 Winters of my Heart hibernating it came alive again and I had forgotten all about it. Often said too "Pain is the touchstone of all Spiritual progress" and when Optimal and Fantastic - Yes, Intimacy is ultimately a Spiritual connection between two people who really love each other. It may not last but it is real while it lasts - and with work, and honesty and love - I believe it can last.
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Post by deborahmanning on Apr 12, 2017 22:25:31 GMT -5
It's tough, how music can just open you up. One reason I started running at night -- turns out you can jog even when you can't see! I'm sorry, C.
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