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Post by Dan on Apr 11, 2017 9:32:22 GMT -5
 Scarily applicable to living in a sexless marriage... no? |
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Post by nancyb on Apr 11, 2017 9:34:27 GMT -5
Feeling lonely and alone in a SM is one of the worse feelings in the world.
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Post by Copernicus on Apr 11, 2017 10:08:29 GMT -5
Dan, that quote is so spot-on!
Nancy - you're right. It is one of the worst feelings, but I think we get accustomed to it and it becomes the new 'norm and our world shrinks and becomes less significant. We need reminders like this to encourage us to wrestle our power back and to take control. We are responsible for our own destiny.
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Post by dinnaken on Apr 13, 2017 14:09:01 GMT -5
Spot on
I told a friend only a couple of days ago that in leaving my marriage I was choosing to be alone rather than lonely
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Post by itsjustus on Apr 13, 2017 18:16:29 GMT -5
I remember first seeing that quote and thinking ".....The worst thing is laying next to someone who makes you feel alone". That thought ran thru my head every night....for so long, that it didn't become necessarily my "normal". It made me numb. Like Copernicus said, my world shrank, down to nothing. Choose to be alone, rather than lonely if need be. It's easier on the soul. |
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Post by McRoomMate on Apr 14, 2017 4:20:26 GMT -5
Love the comments on CHOICES / DECISIONS / ACTIONS. In the final analysis, each has a CHOICE on what to do about it. Sometimes, like Robin Williams he chose suicide - I hope this Forum gives many hope and courage for REAL CHANGE as it did me. I choose to seek LOVE and give LOVE - cause just like Sublime said "Love- is what I got."
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Post by WindSister on Apr 14, 2017 10:21:08 GMT -5
Love the comments on CHOICES / DECISIONS / ACTIONS. In the final analysis, each has a CHOICE on what to do about it. Sometimes, like Robin Williams he chose suicide - I hope this Forum gives many hope and courage for REAL CHANGE as it did me. I choose to seek LOVE and give LOVE - cause just like Sublime said "Love- is what I got." Yes. Agree. I wasn't going to comment because I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, but this meme really makes me sad, especially now knowing that yes, he killed himself and also he was suffering from profound mental illness, not only depression, but also Lewy Body Dementia. www.webmd.com/mental-health/news/20141112/robin-williams-hallucinationsThe maintenance man for our company was a great guy -- he was so awesome with our clients (adults with disabilities) and he was just fun to be around. He killed himself last fall and his family had a huge catholic funeral with a packed church. I was curious if the word "Suicide" would be mentioned, knowing how my own grandpa was Catholic but committed suicide which earned him an unmarked grave back in the day (1940s). There was no support for grandpa's widow or family of 7 kids. It was taboo; grandpa was a sinner. Thankfully, the Catholics have grown from that. It was discussed at the funeral. The priest said "no one of their right mind would choose to kill themselves, it's a mental illness or tied to a mental illness." Yes -- that. There's support for his three kids, dad didn't really hurt THEM he was suffering from a mental illness. He wasn't selfish, he simply was not of his right mind. Whether that is "ultimate truth" or not, who the heck knows, certainly not me, but I just think that makes it more tolerable for a 3 year old, 7 year old and 10 year old as they go through life without dad. Instead of ignoring the issue, treating him like a selfish sinner, they have the church there to help them through it, facing it for what it is head on. SOOOO... when it comes to this quote, it might wake a person up from their current reality. I know I felt so alone with my ex-husband. We literally slept like the "spokescouple" of this forum -- staring at opposite walls, oh god, don't touch me.... That quote back then jarred me. Robin Williams was not of sound mind to make different choices for himself. To empower himself. That is the sad reality. Hopefully all of us here are. If not, I hope help is sought out - seriously. STAYING in that place of "loneliness," feeling hopeless is not how it has to be. And, I have to say -- no one person can fill all our lonely voids. Some of us are prone to it more than others (that lonely feeling). Is it something imbedded in our DNA from previous generations? Something wrong with the wiring of our brain? Something deeper/more spiritual? Who knows. But, different circumstances, different people don't ALWAYS fix it. Sometimes a change in people and environment is needed, not saying that -it sure as HELL was needed in my life. But, it's also something we need to address within ourselves. I am in a happy, healthy relationship and still have to work at it - I can't put the responsibility all on my husband to make me feel whole. Repeating what I said in the other loneliness thread - usually a walk in the woods is all I need, so I am lucky. But I have to actively CHOOSE the healthy action instead of stay stuck in the loneliness. Okay, sorry for gettin' all serious and stuff.  Just had to get it out. |
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Post by McRoomMate on Apr 14, 2017 15:51:09 GMT -5
Love the comments on CHOICES / DECISIONS / ACTIONS. In the final analysis, each has a CHOICE on what to do about it. Sometimes, like Robin Williams he chose suicide - I hope this Forum gives many hope and courage for REAL CHANGE as it did me. I choose to seek LOVE and give LOVE - cause just like Sublime said "Love- is what I got." Yes. Agree. I wasn't going to comment because I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, but this meme really makes me sad, especially now knowing that yes, he killed himself and also he was suffering from profound mental illness, not only depression, but also Lewy Body Dementia. www.webmd.com/mental-health/news/20141112/robin-williams-hallucinationsThe maintenance man for our company was a great guy -- he was so awesome with our clients (adults with disabilities) and he was just fun to be around. He killed himself last fall and his family had a huge catholic funeral with a packed church. I was curious if the word "Suicide" would be mentioned, knowing how my own grandpa was Catholic but committed suicide which earned him an unmarked grave back in the day (1940s). There was no support for grandpa's widow or family of 7 kids. It was taboo; grandpa was a sinner. Thankfully, the Catholics have grown from that. It was discussed at the funeral. The priest said "no one of their right mind would choose to kill themselves, it's a mental illness or tied to a mental illness." Yes -- that. There's support for his three kids, dad didn't really hurt THEM he was suffering from a mental illness. He wasn't selfish, he simply was not of his right mind. Whether that is "ultimate truth" or not, who the heck knows, certainly not me, but I just think that makes it more tolerable for a 3 year old, 7 year old and 10 year old as they go through life without dad. Instead of ignoring the issue, treating him like a selfish sinner, they have the church there to help them through it, facing it for what it is head on. SOOOO... when it comes to this quote, it might wake a person up from their current reality. I know I felt so alone with my ex-husband. We literally slept like the "spokescouple" of this forum -- staring at opposite walls, oh god, don't touch me.... That quote back then jarred me. Robin Williams was not of sound mind to make different choices for himself. To empower himself. That is the sad reality. Hopefully all of us here are. If not, I hope help is sought out - seriously. STAYING in that place of "loneliness," feeling hopeless is not how it has to be. And, I have to say -- no one person can fill all our lonely voids. Some of us are prone to it more than others (that lonely feeling). Is it something imbedded in our DNA from previous generations? Something wrong with the wiring of our brain? Something deeper/more spiritual? Who knows. But, different circumstances, different people don't ALWAYS fix it. Sometimes a change in people and environment is needed, not saying that -it sure as HELL was needed in my life. But, it's also something we need to address within ourselves. I am in a happy, healthy relationship and still have to work at it - I can't put the responsibility all on my husband to make me feel whole. Repeating what I said in the other loneliness thread - usually a walk in the woods is all I need, so I am lucky. But I have to actively CHOOSE the healthy action instead of stay stuck in the loneliness. Okay, sorry for gettin' all serious and stuff. Just had to get it out. SUBLIME Post - Very worthy to read. Thank-you for sharing the experience of your Grandfather's suicide. My empathy and respect. |
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Just had to get it out. 
