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Post by McRoomMate on Apr 10, 2017 16:21:21 GMT -5
Getting out of SM and already in a new relationship which is extremely fulfilling and we are very much in love.
However, a friend of mine who divorced a few years ago said the biggest mistake is introducing the children to New Girlfriend too fast. He said my children will need to time for the shock to subside and healing etc.
Any experience here? How long to wait? My friend told me at least 6 months. Any thoughts?
With my last divorce I waited about 4 months before my daughter met my new girlfriend at the time. It seemed to go well.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Apr 10, 2017 16:24:00 GMT -5
I actually think 6 months is more of a minimum (but I've not addressed this issue myself). In "the old days" it was sketchy to openly date for a year (like mourning period for a widow was), though I think in modern society that's loosened up a lot.
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 10, 2017 16:32:31 GMT -5
I agree at least 6 months if not a year.
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Post by nancyb on Apr 10, 2017 16:41:44 GMT -5
Although there is nothing like a new love to fix a broke heart I don't believe this holds true for children. Introducing your new love too soon could be disastrous for the relationship between GF and your kids. Take your time is MHO.
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Post by dinnaken on Apr 10, 2017 17:10:35 GMT -5
Hmm...
Given that my only experience is of relationships that end badly...
I'd say, if you anticipate that this relationship is going to last for a long time I'd say you can afford to give it awhile
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Post by Apocrypha on Apr 12, 2017 11:00:03 GMT -5
A reason I'd wait 3-4 months is that I've found that around this time, relationships hit a "Do or die" wall. In a metropolitan city, that's around the time that you might meet friends or family and move into someone's life on a more permanent basis. If that doesn't happen around then, it generally ends.
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Post by baza on Apr 12, 2017 21:58:09 GMT -5
I think you need to see if this new deal has legs or not before exposing your kids. Which is more or less what Brother Apocrypha said, and others have hinted at. |
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Post by McRoomMate on Apr 14, 2017 0:00:38 GMT -5
baza Apocrypha Thank-you interestingly enough our relationship is hitting the 4 month mark - I measure it from the first day we said "I love you" to each other and have been seriously obsessed with each other since then (we have known each other for almost 5 months. We both have told many friends and family members including parents and best friends. So now this is happening in the middle or a separation too. I will wait a few months before telling my young children of current SM (my grown daughter already knows from a previous marriage). The Six Month Window between separation and new girlfriend to children seems a good basic time frame - I will try best to use my judgment on how this goes. I suspect their Mother (my current W) will be introducing a new man before that - if her past behavior is any indication of future behavior. My current W has a well established history of NEVER being alone and always in a relationship. The CHILDREN are proving to be the most complex part of the separation process in my case.
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