No Excuses Intimacy - it's so nice. :)
Apr 10, 2017 11:04:38 GMT -5
GeekGoddess, bballgirl, and 1 more like this
Post by WindSister on Apr 10, 2017 11:04:38 GMT -5
This forum is for those on the other side to share their Post-SM experiences both negative and positive. So, I will. 
I still am in "awe" of the wonderfulness that is this marriage of mine. I don't think that will ever go away -- my appreciation for what he and I share after all we both have been through in previous relationships is still as strong as ever. Mind you, he didn't have a SM, but he had an unhappy one just the same.
Anyway, last month my DH was sick for most of it with a head cold and a terrible cough. When it first came on, definitely, I 'let him be' when it came to sex as he was NOT feeling well. After a week, though, HE initiated with ME, coughing and all. He wasn't 100% but he said he missed me. (melt)
Then, this past weekend, my mom came for a visit (a long one - Wednesday night through Monday morning). Saturday night my husband initiated me again because he missed me again. For some this may be some "line" you never cross but we believe sex is not taboo nor is it "bad" therefore, it's okay if there are other people in the house while we connect (we have even while grandkids and/or kids were here). We are simply quiet in those instances - we can be REAL QUIET. I also make sure the guest room has a fan and most people who stay there end up using it so that helps a little with the noise factor if there was a noise slip up. lol
If someone is offering excuse after excuse not to have sex, clearly they just don't prioritize it with you. I remember my ex always had excuses. Too hot, too cold, too tired, too awake, too light, too dark, someone was over, we were someplace else... ugh. ICK. My husband made a promise to me based on a Hunter Hayes song "Wanted" --- he told me in our first year together he would always make sure I knew I was wanted and he definitely has not let me down in that department so far. Our sex life does ebb and flow and we have gone as long as a month once without intimacy but even during that time I felt wanted. Usually, though, he is pursuing me if it's been a bit and when/if I do pursue him, he does not reject me. It's the most wonderful feeling.
And on another note, he goes out of his way to make sure my family feels welcomed in our home. He treats them to dinner, bought my mom Wine for her birthday, etc. Our home is light and full of love and people like visiting us. I like it. My mom made the comment, "How is it that you two are still like honeymooners?" The fact is, we love each other and we are affectionate. The way we are is not because of being so early in love, it's who we are --- touching, hugging, kissing, talking respectfully (we don't make fun of each other and I also love that fact about us). So many couples go into that "kidding around" stage and that annoys me so much. Be respectful. Be kind. Be appreciative. BUILD each other UP, don't tear down through "jokes."
Anyway, just sharing another blurb from the other side.
I still am in "awe" of the wonderfulness that is this marriage of mine. I don't think that will ever go away -- my appreciation for what he and I share after all we both have been through in previous relationships is still as strong as ever. Mind you, he didn't have a SM, but he had an unhappy one just the same. Anyway, last month my DH was sick for most of it with a head cold and a terrible cough. When it first came on, definitely, I 'let him be' when it came to sex as he was NOT feeling well. After a week, though, HE initiated with ME, coughing and all. He wasn't 100% but he said he missed me. (melt)
Then, this past weekend, my mom came for a visit (a long one - Wednesday night through Monday morning). Saturday night my husband initiated me again because he missed me again. For some this may be some "line" you never cross but we believe sex is not taboo nor is it "bad" therefore, it's okay if there are other people in the house while we connect (we have even while grandkids and/or kids were here). We are simply quiet in those instances - we can be REAL QUIET. I also make sure the guest room has a fan and most people who stay there end up using it so that helps a little with the noise factor if there was a noise slip up. lol
If someone is offering excuse after excuse not to have sex, clearly they just don't prioritize it with you. I remember my ex always had excuses. Too hot, too cold, too tired, too awake, too light, too dark, someone was over, we were someplace else... ugh. ICK. My husband made a promise to me based on a Hunter Hayes song "Wanted" --- he told me in our first year together he would always make sure I knew I was wanted and he definitely has not let me down in that department so far. Our sex life does ebb and flow and we have gone as long as a month once without intimacy but even during that time I felt wanted. Usually, though, he is pursuing me if it's been a bit and when/if I do pursue him, he does not reject me. It's the most wonderful feeling.
And on another note, he goes out of his way to make sure my family feels welcomed in our home. He treats them to dinner, bought my mom Wine for her birthday, etc. Our home is light and full of love and people like visiting us. I like it. My mom made the comment, "How is it that you two are still like honeymooners?" The fact is, we love each other and we are affectionate. The way we are is not because of being so early in love, it's who we are --- touching, hugging, kissing, talking respectfully (we don't make fun of each other and I also love that fact about us). So many couples go into that "kidding around" stage and that annoys me so much. Be respectful. Be kind. Be appreciative. BUILD each other UP, don't tear down through "jokes."
Anyway, just sharing another blurb from the other side.
" It was definitely unprecedented, as you say. I have to believe it's some kind of a deep connection; something our souls know before even us, maybe. That doesn't guarantee two people stay together, however. I did have that with one other man before but we weren't meant to be forever. It haunted me because I was wondering what the hell it was and why I wasn't experiencing it with anyone else. Then my husband came along and bam -- there it was again. He actually joked it was like "imprinting" from Twilight (for Twilight geeks). No, we don't seriously think that. But it was something and we will never forget it. I won't let myself ever forget it and he has been on the same page as me when it comes to wanting to remember/appreciate. 
