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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 9, 2017 13:47:05 GMT -5
Can you tell me why?
This links to www.sexlessmarriage.support, if you can tell your story there, it might help others who have yet to find this forum. It saddens me to se there are still so many struggling in through sexless life. We're all looking for the same thing - CONNECTION. We gain that through intimacy and SEX. I just hate to see so much suffering.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Apr 10, 2017 21:52:27 GMT -5
Fear. Sense of duty. Trying to live up to my half of a lifetime obligation (promise, vow) despite the other half of the tree is dead. Inertia-ed into place.
However- I got over those & left.
(And I had no kids. Lots of people think/say they stay for the kids. I think that's bad for the kids though. They "catch" dysfunction faster than the flu. So I really think staying for the kids likely messes up their heads worse. But I have none, so any parental advice is totally suspect coming from me)
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Post by McRoomMate on Apr 11, 2017 0:15:07 GMT -5
Why stay?
2 Good reasons - we had two children together.
Financial security - we are a prosperous couple together in business (her much more than me).
Fear of unknown - my comfort zone was for many years still quite comfortable.
Why separate?
Love gone and zero authentic intimacy (and with it minimal sex) - this as i am awake now caused me MASSIVE psychological issues and dangerous "coping mechanisms" that was eating and devouring my psyche.
Basically my most profound human needs of being in a Loving Relationship with a Soul Mate - yes I am a hopeless romantic - triggered the move to separate. The thought of being married to someone I really had no feelings left for was terrifying.
Now in process of separation - I am placing a HUGE emphasis on our childrens well being - Freedom but measured and huge responsibility duty to make sure my children still feel very loved and appreciated by their father. This is proving and will prove to be the MOST CHALLENGING aspect of the separation but absolutely necessary.
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Post by hopingforachange on Apr 11, 2017 12:05:31 GMT -5
As my username says, hoping for a change. I think I would have to hit bottom where my hope is gone before I could get out.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Apr 11, 2017 12:38:23 GMT -5
As my username says, hoping for a change. I think I would have to hit bottom where my hope is gone before I could get out. If you stay, you will get there eventually. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Apr 11, 2017 12:51:26 GMT -5
Feeling like it was what I was supposed to do. Obligation, because you made a commitment, and you want to stick to your commitments. The hope that if you work just a little bit harder, you'll be able to make this better.
Wondering if you're not supposed to just be happy with what you have.
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