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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2017 10:34:26 GMT -5
No I don't think so I think I was a way out of a bad situation. On her behalf she was diagnosed with MS 6 years ago but that doesn't explain before, and after the docs have told us to try different things and gave her medicine to help with the low sex drive but the the one that seemed to work she refused to take anymore. She explained to me that this is how all married couples are and I should get used to it. Ok, I am not going to hold back on this one... She is a lying manipulative bitch who is giving good women a bad name. She found a medicine that works, but refuses to take it? This means she is making a conscious choice to deny you what every married person deserves to have. My refuser did this for a long time. For many years, I tried to figure out why she was doing this, but then I started trying to figure out why I was accepting this. There was no reason to accept this. I moved out and am getting divorced from my joke of a marriage. |
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Post by lyn on Apr 5, 2017 13:38:59 GMT -5
It pisses me off when people use a Diagnosis as a weapon - or at the least, a medium for their emotional abuse.
Yes, everyone is different. One's experience with any particular disease is always going to be different from the next person experiencing the same infliction.
Just seems so convenient to use a Dx. No I'm not heartless, there's just sooooo much manipulation going on here.
Just like people using, "I'll kill myself if you leave me", or whatever. It's all just emotional blackmail - preying on empathetic individuals.
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Post by Apocrypha on Apr 5, 2017 14:33:54 GMT -5
I doubt that it is always or often intentionally malicious or deceptive. People are asked why they don't want to have sex with a person. They respond with a list of the top things that are wrong in their lives. Everybody's problems are life-sized, right?
So, fix whatever sits at the top of that list, and the stack of top problems rotates one notch, with a new problem coming into view. It might not have anything to do with the loss of desire, which probably got tossed from the raft years prior, but it is top of the list with whatever they can see in their lives.
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Apr 5, 2017 17:38:02 GMT -5
I doubt that it is always or often intentionally malicious or deceptive. People are asked why they don't want to have sex with a person. They respond with a list of the top things that are wrong in their lives. Everybody's problems are life-sized, right? So, fix whatever sits at the top of that list, and the stack of top problems rotates one notch, with a new problem coming into view. It might not have anything to do with the loss of desire, which probably got tossed from the raft years prior, but it is top of the list with whatever they can see in their lives. That is a really interesting perspective. I'm sure a lot of us can say we have been refused because of seemingly miniscule things that just so happen to be at the top of that list. (Some of my frequent reasons: I will wake the child, dishes aren't finished, its too late and I just showered.) Then we work our butts off crossing off that list. |
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Post by hopingforachange on Apr 5, 2017 18:30:43 GMT -5
Wife: "the sheets are to dirty"
Next day I change the sheets
Wife: " but these are clean sheets"
😨👿👹 So I had cookies in bed and got the crumbs everywhere.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Apr 6, 2017 6:40:10 GMT -5
Wife: "the sheets are to dirty" Next day I change the sheets Wife: " but these are clean sheets" 😨👿👹 So I had cookies in bed and got the crumbs everywhere. I love screwing on clean sheets. To anoint them, so to speak. Half-dirty sheets aren't bad either (since I would be nearly ready to wash them anyway, lets go for it!) There is no reason to need sheets - dirty or not. Let's stand up! For every refuser excuse, I can find a way to have sex anyway....because I WANT to. Or - for every reason to have sex, my refuser can find a way NOT to, because they don't WANT to. This is the reality. And I love the phrase that all problems are life-size. Yep. Everyone innately sees things from their own perspective - at least at first. I think the refused spouses work further to try & see it from the other's perspective too, but this is the step our low libido spouse won't, or can't, quite accomplish. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2017 10:06:26 GMT -5
Wife: "the sheets are to dirty" Next day I change the sheets Wife: " but these are clean sheets" 😨👿👹 So I had cookies in bed and got the crumbs everywhere. What a hateful bitch! Sorry, I am kind of raw today. |
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Post by Venus Erotes on Apr 9, 2017 14:09:33 GMT -5
dirtdigger how are you doing? You seemed to disappear not long after a couple of posts. I hope you are okay and finding the solace ad support you are looking for.
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Post by McRoomMate on Apr 9, 2017 16:58:39 GMT -5
WELCOME FRIEND - you are NOT alone here. There are gems of experience and wisdom in these threads.
My three cents - she still finds other men "hot" but not you? This is very strange and inconsistent. The Hallmark question for me is do you still LOVE her? I mean like in love and passionate? Is this marriage worth saving? Are you happy now? When was the last time you remember being happy with your W?
Your original post was just heart wrenching to read.
I can tell you from my own I did a mother load of soul searching, praying, meditating, analyzing, researching, and thinking . . . and eventually a MOMENT of TRUTH came where I had to make a decision and then prepare and finally act. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
One thing is for sure - there aint no Fairy Godmother coming, but the Lord does help those that help themselves (Quote from Poor Richard over 200 years ago).
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