No sex and now maybe not love

I am employed in a well paying job and I brought the house into the marriage with me. The mortgage is refinanced so would be a struggle to make the payments on my own so the better option would be to sell it.

The dog. I feel guilty about the damn dog. I hate the idea of making him leave his big yard to go to some shitty little hole of a place. But I also know this is an excuse because I take him out in the bush all the time. Funny, I had no idea how much that was bothering me.

I do enjoy my husbands companionship out in the bush camping and fishing and watching TV etc. I am starting to think it may not be enough though because sometimes I feel like the lack of physical/emotional intimacy is making me hateful and crazy.

Well, the risk you run in continued exposure to a dysfunctional marriage is the trashing of your self esteem, a decline in your mental (and possibly physical) health, ending up isolated from friends / family, and the disintegration of your personal happiness.
None of these things *improve* in a dysfunctional situation.
Rather, they tend to get worse.

I doubt that any of the things mentioned above are news to you. It looks like these things have already started for you.

There are plenty of people here who are going through (or have been through) what you are experiencing.
You're among friends.

reinorchid
There is not much to be gained by chasing "why" your husband is avoidant.
Even if you fluked finding out the definitive "why", it wouldn't alter the facts on the ground one iota. He IS avoidant.
And there is nothing you can do about that. It is not a matter that you have any control over at all - nor is it your responsibility. His issue(s) are his.

As I read this post the most significant statement to me is: "I don't think I love him any more". In my brief experience with romance, if one comes to experience that they are having to search or push the feeling of love for another person, then it is almost a certainty that that "loving feeling" is in fact gone. And once it's gone it pretty difficult to rekindle it. Maybe not impossible, but pretty rarely seen. This alone may not be the catalyst for ending things. There may be other dynamics in the relationship that make it worthwhile to continue. That's a judgement call for you.
If there are significant reasons to stay, but your desire for intimacy is dominating your thoughts, then other approaches could be realistically considered. You mentioned threating him with "outsourcing". Instead of a threat(if you were serious)you might try actually discussing having an open marriage. Or if sex is actually unimportant to him, approach it from the perspective of "don't ask, don't tell" for you to have a FWB. Here again a judgement call for you.
The stated reason for his lack of desire for intimacy with you sounds like so much BS to me. No one is that sensitive in real life. Laying off the blame on his X for previous sexual issues again sounds like so much BS to avoid his own role. How bad must the sex have been for his X to get up in the middle of things and walk out?
Your story is akin to many here who marry thinking the issue of intimacy isn't all that important, until they find it's now a daily bridge that must be crossed. The red flags are all to obvious, but we choose to ignore them thinking things will change or get better once we're married. It almost never does.

I would ask the same question, but not use the time horizon of 10 years.  I'd use another two years (the length of time the marriage has already gone).  If you are in your early 50's ten years drastically increases the odds of one of you getting sick in some way shape or form.  At that point, you will have a new reason not to leave...guilt over leaving a sick person.

At least this has been discovered "early".  Some of us have a couple decades of this crap under our belt.

Just my two cents worth.

I'm sorry to say that it sounds like you two are just wired differently when it comes to sex. The 'why' doesn't matter at this point. It is just the way it is. It doesn't make one of you right or wrong, just different. He may have skirted around his attitudes toward sex and you admit that you ignores some red flags. It happens. It happened to me as well. I had all the signs too and I ignored them and married anyway. Everyday I think WTF was I thinking?

This most likely isn't going to change. There may be periods when he makes more of an effort but he will most likely revert back to his true form. No sex is his true self and he will always fall back eventually. For him to do otherwise would be expecting him live a life that he is not comfortable with. It's the same for you. Living a life without sex would mean that you are living a life in way that is not acceptable to you. Your needs will never go away and you will risk all sorts of bad consequences, low self-esteem, depression, etc. 

For those of us that need sex to maintain that loving bond with our partners once the bond is broken it's really hard to get it back, if not impossible. The overriding question for you most likely is whether you're willing to accept this situation for the sake of finances, companionship, etc. It's a really tough question and I don't have an answer. Sorry. I wish I did. I'm very much in the same situation and I don't have an answer.