The "New" Continues.

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baza
Senior Members

Tread your own path

Posts: 5,556

The "New" Continues. Mar 18, 2017 19:36:13 GMT -5 GeekGoddess, jim44444, and 6 more like this

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Post by baza on Mar 18, 2017 19:36:13 GMT -5

Ms enna had a conference to attend in the city last Friday, so I thought I'd drive her down to it, see my kids, and have a couple of days just looking around.

Due to a couple of random events, we ended up being invited to lunch on the Saturday by my ex (and now deceased) missus' best friend who I have known for many years.
I mentioned I had Ms enna with me, and Gill then *insisted* we come for lunch.

I was pretty confident that Gill and enna would get on well, so off we went, thinking a feed and a break for an hour or two would be good to have before the drive back up country.
We finally got away after spending about 5 hours there, having had a few laughs and discussing all manner of things.
Clearly Gill and her husband knew my old ILIASM deal had been on shaky ground back in the day and our split had not been a huge surprise to them.

Anyway, enna and Gill got on really well, and she and her husband are coming up to stay with us for a few days in a couple of months time.

"Life goes on" as Gill days.

McRoomMate
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Posts: 802

Age Range: 46-50

The "New" Continues. Mar 18, 2017 19:49:41 GMT -5

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Post by McRoomMate on Mar 18, 2017 19:49:41 GMT -5

Sorry to hear of your Ex-Wife's passing away. I too am a "Widower" of sorts. My Ex-Wife died a few years ago (we had been divorced for almost 6 years when she passed away unexpectedly).

On another note, I was having dinner tonight with several business associates and they made a joke about my upcoming divorce (I guess it is more obvious than I realize).

greatcoastal
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Thanks for the Birthday wishes! Dinner with a friend tonight and B.D dance with the ladies!

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Age Range: 56-60

The "New" Continues. Mar 19, 2017 15:17:25 GMT -5 tamara68 likes this

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Post by greatcoastal on Mar 19, 2017 15:17:25 GMT -5

That's a good story of "hope for the future!"

Last week I helped a friend build and install wood fencing. Later I was taken out to dinner with him, his wife, and their daughter. It's wonderful to feel like I can just be myself again. It would have been very different if the W. had come along. There was no "us" as a distant couple wearing the fake mask anymore.

Also someone who knows my situation well enough to know I wont be all over his wife and daughter.I know... I know.... not to be paranoid about being seen as this divorced, middle aged, looser with only sex on his mind because I endured, and ended a controlling SM.

The more dinners and times with others that I have, the more "normal" and happier I will be. This takes effort on my part. Several reminders of " when do you wan't to fix your fence? Winter is coming to an end!."

Like asking women out again, it will start happening again, in time.

Last Edit: Mar 19, 2017 19:13:41 GMT -5 by greatcoastal

Stars can't shine without darkness.

dinnaken
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Alone and content

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Age Range: 61-65

The "New" Continues. Mar 19, 2017 15:51:45 GMT -5 greatcoastal likes this

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Post by dinnaken on Mar 19, 2017 15:51:45 GMT -5

It's good to hear that there can be a new life after all of this. I can't wait, it's only a few weeks out now (fingers crossed) and then Different starts (not Better).

Thanks for your comments greatcoastal, I always read your posts with interest - as you say I really don't want to come across as a divorced, middle-aged looser. For me, I just want to build a new 'normal', different and all mine.

All the best

baza
Senior Members

Tread your own path

Posts: 5,556

The "New" Continues. Mar 20, 2017 6:13:10 GMT -5 greatcoastal, dinnaken, and 2 more like this

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Post by baza on Mar 20, 2017 6:13:10 GMT -5

Before I give the impression that this is all beer and skittles, I ought point out that I left in October 2009.
People have had 7.5 years to "get over it".

All will NOT be beer and skittles in the immediate aftermath of a split up.
Far from it.

Longer term, sure. Everyone "gets over it" (at least to some degree) but short term, things can get pretty lively.

dinnaken Full Member Alone and content Posts: 293 Age Range: 61-65	The "New" Continues. Mar 20, 2017 7:21:36 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by dinnaken on Mar 20, 2017 7:21:36 GMT -5 Thanks for the reality check Baza; in my heart I know it's true but as the date of my wife and my formal separation looms-up very close I've got to stay positive 'cos I know it's not going to be a whole lot of fun.

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mirrororchid: We've compared denier/refuser spouses to prison wardens. Dr. Psychmom has compared them to hostage takers and the unhappy spouse has Stockholm syndrome. Prisoners can't leave. Stockholm hostages don't because they want a good outcome for the captor. Sept 10, 2024 18:54:11 GMT -5

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week5of35years: My Wife had 30 free mins before she had to start work this AM... I said.. "lets have a quick shag" and she said she was going to walk the dog instead.... Still work to do.... Sept 17, 2024 3:51:34 GMT -5

isthisit: Week 5; For once I am in your wife’s corner on this one, I’d have walked the dog too! You need to work in your delivery there… Sept 20, 2024 0:01:57 GMT -5

week5of35years: LOL, in my defence, I squeezed her boobs as we were waking up and she was pretty responsive ...... If that had just come out of the blue I would have smacked myself in the face .... ha ha ha Sept 23, 2024 5:54:56 GMT -5

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