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Post by McRoomMate on Mar 18, 2017 9:37:13 GMT -5
wom360 lyn YES WHO CARES "GET CAUGHT" - At this point I am sort of hoping to get caught. It would just speed things along to where they need to go faster. Respect for your anxiety and fear - FEAR - FEAR - FEAR - Yes, that is where I started out. FEAR because I felt really bad inside and did not know what to do. The more I hung out on these threads and absorbed all the good posts and got others to call me on my bluffs and guide me. This FORUM is unquestionably a form of "therapy" if therapy can be defined as a quest for being honest with oneself and one own's truth. So what does "getting caught" mean? It means someone will find out the truth. Someone will discover the hidden secret. It means EACH one on here if they have enough courage and heart to get honest with themselves and their situation, their own truth and way forward. And fear shall be cast aside, and we shall move on to that well lit path heretofore hidden from our fear ridden eyes. Welcome and Post away. No fear - just post!
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Post by Copernicus on Mar 22, 2017 17:04:46 GMT -5
I really don't care anymore. If she finds the forum and figures it all out, I doubt that things could get much worse, or if they do, it's because we're going separate ways. I know she won't be posting anything on Facebook: 'So upset because I've just found out that my H has been sharing our story on a sexless marriage forum...'
She'll know it's me when she sees my avatar anyway - it's just like looking in a mirror
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Post by allworkandnoplay on Mar 22, 2017 21:42:30 GMT -5
I was always concerned she would find it as well. I lurked for much too long. Lots of helpful thoughts around this place  |
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Mar 23, 2017 1:43:53 GMT -5
Notice my face, yup, my real face! The first few posts I thought oh God, if anyone I knew found this... Then I had some self reflection. I told myself IF someone I know in real life saw this (and even had the courage to say anything) that means they were also on here, reading and exploring. What better way to connect with someone I know than through honest and open discussion of real, and hidden, issues. Then I worried about my spouse finding it. Upon that reflection I thought, he might not like some of my flirtatious talk, but other than that he has heard nearly all of this. We have talked about almost ALL of this. He might be upset by some of the things I say about him, but I do not think I am being dishonest in any way. I still love him, find his crazy sexy and see my future still with him. I just also want to have a serious (maybe even explorative ) intimate relationship with him as well. And even then, I can't filter my flirting, and if he doesn't want to hear it there are plenty of other out there that benefit from it  |
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Post by hopingforachange on Mar 23, 2017 7:14:48 GMT -5
Notice my face, yup, my real face! The first few posts I thought oh God, if anyone I knew found this... Then I had some self reflection. I told myself IF someone I know in real life saw this (and even had the courage to say anything) that means they were also on here, reading and exploring. What better way to connect with someone I know than through honest and open discussion of real, and hidden, issues. Then I worried about my spouse finding it. Upon that reflection I thought, he might not like some of my flirtatious talk, but other than that he has heard nearly all of this. We have talked about almost ALL of this. He might be upset by some of the things I say about him, but I do not think I am being dishonest in any way. I still love him, find his crazy sexy and see my future still with him. I just also want to have a serious (maybe even explorative ) intimate relationship with him as well. And even then, I can't filter my flirting, and if he doesn't want to hear it there are plenty of other out there that benefit from it I went thru most of the same thoughts as you. I also see this site as almost as an anonymous support network. It helped me realize I am not crazy for wanting the physical side and that has helped me be in a better mental state. I have now gone a almost a week without my anti depressants, and I am still feeling good. Now, the W might not like this so much because I have been firm with what I need in our relationship. This has me pushing her and making her uncomfortable but it is things that I need to be happy with our relationship and for me to be happy. I switched to a real picture when I realized how much this site was helping me be honest with my self. After the last date night,I made sure we were home early enough that "it's too late" was not an excuse, but the bed room was still dead and even hostile against my advances. We have taken turns sleeping on the couch for a few nights. During the conversation with what happens she described it as me pressuring her for sex and attempting to buy it with date night. I described it as date night is us working on maintaining the relationship. Think of date night as making a cake. The talking and intimate conversation as making the cake part. The cuddling at the movies as the icing and bedroom time is like adding the decorations to the cake. If any part fails then the cake will not live up to what a cake should be. She didn't like my explanation BUT when she talked with her teacher friends, they agreed with my explanation. This site helped me put three feelings on my head together and gave me the confidence to push what I need, instead of saying well I must just be the stereotypical sex craved male, so I need to learn to live with it. |
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Post by iceman on Mar 23, 2017 9:53:08 GMT -5
I understand the concern but unless you're really specific it's not likely she could pin you down on anything. If it makes you feel better maybe try changing some details of your posts in such a way that doesn't change what you're trying to say but gives you a degree of deniability should your wife challenge you on anything.
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