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Post by bballgirl on Mar 15, 2017 8:51:01 GMT -5
Being open, honest and authentic to ourselves is so important.
A spouse that no longer wants to participate in the other spouses sexuality needs to have an open mind and not be selfish.
Sex is very important on so many different levels.
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Post by leifericson on Mar 16, 2017 10:09:20 GMT -5
What are the spouses responses to this. Has anyone had this talk with their spouse. I once said this to my W and got no response.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Mar 16, 2017 10:24:42 GMT -5
Denial that there ever was an issue, or, occasionally, an extended reflection on how this is all my problem.
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Post by greatcoastal on Mar 16, 2017 10:30:18 GMT -5
What are the spouses responses to this. Has anyone had this talk with their spouse. I once said this to my W and got no response. My "talk" was not worded as well as this. I did mention to my W. that we should have a planned sex day once a week. Her response was " I don't think I will EVER be ready for that". Then she quickly changed subject, (DARVO) to how I interrupted her and was disrespectful. I layed in on her heavy, with an angry tone, "disrespect? disrespect? 14 yrs of no sex, that's disrespectful!!" she did not like that. This occured shortly after a reset weekend, where she turned the detachment on full throttle before the day was over. I like what I said. I like what I did. I am not sure about the way I handled it and would not recommend it. It is what it is. So you got no response? Actually you did get a response. Saying nothing and doing nothing, IS saying something, and doing something!!! |
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Post by WindSister on Mar 16, 2017 12:42:57 GMT -5
When I had the talk with my ex he put a pillow over his face, laying there thinking for awhile, saying nothing. I had to probe and probe and ask questions, etc., he didn't offer any insight, or any thoughts. Then we talked a bit about wants and needs when it came to our sexual life, he said he didn't ever think about it because he didn't need anything from me. He couldn't think of one thing he wanted or needed from me sexually. When I told him what I needed and wanted he said and I quote, "Well, I can't do that now that you TOLD me to."
Talk about bang head against the wall.
I left.
It doesn't have to be that difficult.
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