Good Read

I love everything about that article. I lived it as well and I continue to work on that self-love, being okay alone because, truly, even IN a great relationship, we have to have a great relationship with ourselves first and foremost. I am in a healthy, loving relationship and I still have to have my own inner strength, peace, joy. Finding someone new does not automatically fix all that.

My SIL (husband's sister) is going through a divorce. She was married 30 years, wanted a divorce for 10, finally last May announced it. She went right from her ex to a new guy and now they are on the rocks and she's pulling yet a third guy into the mix. All three are fighting for her - all three are jealous, controlling types. She is lying to all three of them (or at the least not being direct because she doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings). I find myself telling her what others here told me back in that crazy stage: Slow down, BREATHE, HEAL. Stop worrying "about the men" and figure yourself out. Sure, compliments are awesome, it's great to be "desired" - have fun with that in an honest way but give closure to your husband. She says "I'm not ready to get back together with him YET." What does that mean? I can't imagine thinking I may get back together with someone I am ending things with. But, then, 30 years is a long time. I just see her so lost - it kills me because I know that feeling, but she has to walk through it her own way. She has NO clue what SHE wants in life. With one guy she's hiking through the woods (this is the same woman who proclaimed to me she "hates nature" when I first met her). With the other she's sitting on the couch watching tv all the time and praying before all her meals (this same woman who thinks religion is a waste of time. I asked her last night, "What do YOU like to do?" She had no answer. Makes me sad for her. She told me she is "choosing" guy #3, who she's known for 10 days. I can't lecture her because I have been there, but I want to leave her with little nuggets of wisdom if I can.

Anyway, yes -- this article is relevant. I will send it her way.