Post by timeforliving2 on Apr 26, 2016 18:24:21 GMT -5
I know how much a SM messes with our heads... our emotional state... our feeling of self-worth.When you're in that cycle, it can be hard to break out. With that in mind, I am re-posting a well-liked short story that can help us to dig just a little deeper to find the courage to start changing things. Because one thing is for certain... the status quo isn't working. Therefore, to create some kind of change, you've got to start (or keep) doing something different. So without further ado...
I Am No Nonger Accepting...
The focus of this post is not really religious, but just for a frame of reference, the well-known "Serenity Prayer" goes like this:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Many of us I think grew up with this in the back of our heads. While this may be helpful for some people in terms of how to deal with certain things which they can or cannot control, in the context of sexless marriages, it can steer us in the wrong direction if we're not careful.
Now here's my main point. I saw a great post / sign recently from a friend on FB... and it is a twist on the Serenity Prayer:
"I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept."
For those of us with sexless marriages, this is *much* clearer... and empowering.
I adopted this TWIST on the traditional Serenity Prayer: "I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept." Life goes on. Time marches on. No more status quo. It's time for living.
You are in control of your own choices, and that's it.
In an ILIASM context - #1 - your spouse may choose to withdraw sex. Your control over his choice is zero. #2 - your choice (in light of his choice) is whether you are going to cop it or not, and his control over your choice is zero.
What tends to happen though, is that you - under these situations- is to go along with his choice. You go along with it unwillingly, resentfully, unhappily, and in a pretty pissed off manner. But, you DO go along with it. In effect, you CHOOSE to go along with it. And YOU get to wear the consequences of that choice.
It was - and still is - not your spouses choice that you have stayed. It is - and always was - YOUR choice.
And, you can re-visit your choice whenever you like. Objectively re-assess it. And if you want, change it.
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lanie: Hello, new here.
Sept 13, 2021 4:47:32 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday obobfla where ever you are.....
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mirrororchid: Hi Lanie, ILIASM ate my welcome from a few days back. Glad you found us.
Sept 15, 2021 18:57:29 GMT -5
worksforme2: My apologies to you baz and your fellow Australians for sleepy Joe forgetting PM Morrisons name...he forgets names on a pretty regular basis. Ask Scott not to take it personal...
Sept 16, 2021 11:42:16 GMT -5
baza: Scott is eminently forgettable so don't worry. Jimmy Carter did the same thing in the 70's with our PM of the time, Fraser.
Sept 17, 2021 18:29:58 GMT -5
worksforme2: One more thing baz...for the immediate future be careful around anyone with a French accent....the frogs are a little miffed at the moment
Sept 18, 2021 15:16:14 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey lessingham.....how is your relationship with that nephew these days?
Sept 19, 2021 11:32:27 GMT -5
worksforme2: I made an appointment to get my booster shot for Covid19. I had to answer all kinds of security questions. Never thought that an imposter might show up and try to get my shot.
Oct 5, 2021 10:01:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: UPDATE: Booster shot try failed...The booster was a Pfizer. My 1st shots were Moderna, so they would not give me the Pfizer booster. Looks like I'll be waiting for a while.
Oct 8, 2021 5:28:32 GMT -5
worksforme2: WOW h, ...you gave my post in Because we all need a laugh the like response 24 times....that must be a record
Oct 12, 2021 19:53:20 GMT -5
jerri: worksforme2 member h Probably has some sort of trojan horse on his phone/computer and it is acting up. I know when mine needs to at least be restarted because I will send the same text multiple times when I only sent one.
Oct 13, 2021 2:02:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: Trojan horse you say...I thought the Greeks chopped that thing up for firewood after they conquered Troy....looks like maybe someone repurposed it....
Oct 13, 2021 8:17:19 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday greatcoastal......
Oct 14, 2021 3:51:08 GMT -5
greatcoastal: Thanks worksforme2! I've got the day off, and will be with my woman this evening!
Oct 14, 2021 6:12:35 GMT -5