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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jan 17, 2018 23:03:45 GMT -5
mypaintbrushes Hey, I'm a girl, but for what it's worth I think you look great! Please don't beat yourself up about 3-4 pounds or anything else for that matter. Otherwise, I might have to beat myself up. Anyway, I think SM problems are rarely about looks, but other stuff. Thank you - I actually want to lose another 5-10lbs, to get back to tip top shape!
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jan 17, 2018 23:04:25 GMT -5
Thank you. I did not sleep well last night and woke up thinking my whole problem is that I’m just not a good person (maybe a thread on that later). Over the years, I’ve tried nutrition, exercise, lingerie, more makeup, less makeup, dressing up, dressing down, being the initiator, letting him take the lead, and all sorts of other ways to get him interested in me again. About 6 years ago, I found out he had been mad af me this entire time and was withholding deliberately. Almost 3 years ago, I left him. He did everything he could to win me back. We now have sex a couple of times per year (like last night). I spent the first part of my life believing I was not a good person. Part of the reason is that I expected myself to be a famous superhero/rockstar/author, and I was none of those things. Because I could not do the impossible, I was a failure. Now I realize that I am an ordinary asshole, and that’s okay. Life’s easier when you’re an asshole, accept it, and realize everyone else is an asshole too. Everyone’s an asshole - I love it!
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Post by obobfla on Jan 17, 2018 23:09:44 GMT -5
I spent the first part of my life believing I was not a good person. Part of the reason is that I expected myself to be a famous superhero/rockstar/author, and I was none of those things. Because I could not do the impossible, I was a failure. Now I realize that I am an ordinary asshole, and that’s okay. Life’s easier when you’re an asshole, accept it, and realize everyone else is an asshole too. Everyone’s an asshole - I love it! I have had the privilege of meeting some rockstars and authors, although I have yet to run into a superhero. Have met famous athletes, though. They were all assholes like me!
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jan 18, 2018 1:48:12 GMT -5
Everyone’s an asshole - I love it! I have had the privilege of meeting some rockstars and authors, although I have yet to run into a superhero. Have met famous athletes, though. They were all assholes like me! Now, I’ve met some famous people too. Can’t really say the blues musician I met on my 24rh Birthday, but the members of the Australian rock band I met when I turned 34 all seemed really cool! 😎 Since #44 is coming up this year, I’ve been thinking I need to go to a concert soon, and go backstage or somehow meet the band... I was thinking, Weird Al is playing the night before my birthday (don’t laugh; he puts on a great show!), and he does not seem like an asshole to me! 😂
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Post by DryCreek on Jan 18, 2018 2:27:25 GMT -5
#44 is coming up this year, I’ve been thinking I need to go to a concert soon, and go backstage or somehow meet the band... I was thinking, Weird Al is playing the night before my birthday (don’t laugh; he puts on a great show!), and he does not seem like an asshole to me! 😂 I hear that artists consider it flattering when he does a send-up of one of their songs - I bet it'd be a great show! You should wear a "birthday girl" tiara or sash... And you look great as you are... more evidence that refusers are blind! I don't envy the life of a celebrity. It's no wonder a lot of them get bad reputations. I'll take the fortune without the fame, thank you.
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Post by lwoetin on Jan 18, 2018 9:35:57 GMT -5
I’ll probably delete this, but I am under the weather and not feeling great about my looks this weekend, so this is from September, at the height of when I was working out all the time (I’ve gained back like 3-4 lbs). I’m 5’8” and have curly hair and brown eyes... I can imagine a great feast. You look pretty good to me.
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Post by obobfla on Jan 18, 2018 18:04:53 GMT -5
#44 is coming up this year, I’ve been thinking I need to go to a concert soon, and go backstage or somehow meet the band... I was thinking, Weird Al is playing the night before my birthday (don’t laugh; he puts on a great show!), and he does not seem like an asshole to me! 😂 I hear that artists consider it flattering when he does a send-up of one of their songs - I bet it'd be a great show! You should wear a "birthday girl" tiara or sash... And you look great as you are... more evidence that refusers are blind! I don't envy the life of a celebrity. It's no wonder a lot of them get bad reputations. I'll take the fortune without the fame, thank you. Honestly, celebrities are no more assholes than I am an asshole. they do put up with a lot of crap. Every now and then, a famous name comes up, and somebody says, “He’s an asshole! I saw him at this restaurant with his family, and he wouldn’t sign an autograph for me! He doesn’t care for the people who pay his salary.” Somehow the speaker does not realize that A. The celeb is off the clock and with his family. B. You pay his salary to see him perform. You don’t have to pay it. C. Unless you can do what the celeb does as well as the celeb does, don’t begrudge him the money he makes. I was once a sportswriter, and my picture was right next to a column I wrote. Occasionally, I got recognized from that picture. It scared the hell out of me. That person knew more about me than I knew about them. Was I supposed to know this person’s name? Did we meet before? Is he going to bring up some article I wrote six months ago disparaging his favorite team? Please, let me be a nobody.
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Post by whuffo on Jan 19, 2018 16:09:25 GMT -5
mypaintbrushes Hey, I'm a girl, but for what it's worth I think you look great! Please don't beat yourself up about 3-4 pounds or anything else for that matter. Otherwise, I might have to beat myself up. Anyway, I think SM problems are rarely about looks, but other stuff. Agreed. It's never about looks. That's why I said, do the things to stay healthy for you and nobody else.
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Post by surfergirl on Jan 27, 2018 10:51:43 GMT -5
mypaintbrushes wrote, “Thank you - I actually want to lose another 5-10lbs, to get back to tip top shape!” I weigh 107 pounds and have 32DD and still get shut down. Last night, I even resorted to cajoling the Husband (and he said, no because it’s game playing if I’m divorcing him—the excuses never ever ever end) and texted the affair-non affair partner who promptly ignored my text. Miss Paintbrushes, I think we ought to fish somewhere else.
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Post by brian on Jan 27, 2018 13:00:03 GMT -5
Ladies... any man worth your time should be interested in what you have from the neck up. The size of the woman does not matter. The smile matters. The attitude matters. The intellect matters.
32DD’s don’t turn me on. I’m just as happy with 36B’s, as long as a woman has what counts... and that’s ALL above the neckline.
Or are you looking for someone so shallow that they will dump you as you age?
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Post by h on Jan 27, 2018 13:05:45 GMT -5
mypaintbrushes wrote, “Thank you - I actually want to lose another 5-10lbs, to get back to tip top shape!” I weigh 107 pounds and have 32DD and still get shut down. Last night, I even resorted to cajoling the Husband (and he said, no because it’s game playing if I’m divorcing him—the excuses never ever ever end) and texted the affair-non affair partner who promptly ignored my text. Miss Paintbrushes, I think we ought to fish somewhere else. To play devil's advocate, your H isn't all wrong. If you have told him recently that you want a divorce, why would he have sex with you? It sounds like you are still on the fence and he wants you to be decisive. You either have to be in or out and he's not accepting halfway or maybe. Your VERY impressive looks have nothing to do with it. None of what I said should be construed to mean that he WILL have sex with you anytime soon. Just that, for the moment anyway, he has a justifiable reason not to be intimately involved with you.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jan 27, 2018 13:54:44 GMT -5
mypaintbrushes wrote, “Thank you - I actually want to lose another 5-10lbs, to get back to tip top shape!” I weigh 107 pounds and have 32DD and still get shut down. Last night, I even resorted to cajoling the Husband (and he said, no because it’s game playing if I’m divorcing him—the excuses never ever ever end) and texted the affair-non affair partner who promptly ignored my text. Miss Paintbrushes, I think we ought to fish somewhere else. To play devil's advocate, your H isn't all wrong. If you have told him recently that you want a divorce, why would he have sex with you? It sounds like you are still on the fence and he wants you to be decisive. You either have to be in or out and he's not accepting halfway or maybe. Your VERY impressive looks have nothing to do with it. None of what I said should be construed to mean that he WILL have sex with you anytime soon. Just that, for the moment anyway, he has a justifiable reason not to be intimately involved with you. [ This is all true. However, in my case, I get “I’ll never divorce you unless you screw me over.” But then he spends 0% of his time with me. Or he’ll insist “We gotta do something” (meaning sex) but it has to be on his terms, only what he wants, and he won’t do “all the work”. But if I say “Not now, catch me later” or I have wants in bed, that’s an issue.
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Post by mypaintbrushes on Jan 27, 2018 14:09:56 GMT -5
I am 5’8”, a 36DD and was once a model, for like a minute. I am college educated, make six figures, involved in a lot of different things and drive a fun car. That’s what the outside world sees.
What I WANT to be seen is that I truly care about others and want to meet their needs.... while having mine met as well. And I’m pretty damn open-minded sexually!
It’s nice to be appreciated physically. I work to be as healthy as I possibly can and I want to look as good as I feel. But I want to be truly known. That seems to be rare. I have a metaphor I can’t seem to make work, but I feel as if I’m FAR more interesting than my refusers give me credit for, and yet somehow that turns them off.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 27, 2018 15:17:45 GMT -5
I am 5’8”, a 36DD and was once a model, for like a minute. I am college educated, make six figures, involved in a lot of different things and drive a fun car. That’s what the outside world sees. What I WANT to be seen is that I truly care about others and want to meet their needs.... while having mine met as well. And I’m pretty damn open-minded sexually! It’s nice to be appreciated physically. I work to be as healthy as I possibly can and I want to look as good as I feel. But I want to be truly known. That seems to be rare. I have a metaphor I can’t seem to make work, but I feel as if I’m FAR more interesting than my refusers give me credit for, and yet somehow that turns them off. You are stuck with the wrong guy. Plain and simple. As a man I am 5'10" 130 lbs 29" waist 32 L wear a S to a M shirt. I am only one inch larger in the waist since H.S. (I am blessed with a high metabolism. Not bad for 54 yrs old.) (I haven't been to the gym in 9 months) but when I did go regularly 3 times a week, I would work out with other woman, and other men, and feel like I fit right in. I would think "these are my people. I can be accepted here". I drive around our neighborhood, our expensive high dollar gated communities and homes along the river and the ocean, and i think "these are my people, the ones I shop with and go to church with. Their kids hang out with mine". AND yet none of that means SQUAT!! When I end up sitting at home and not meeting, or talking, or dating anyone!! I can go to church, gym, grocery store, bike rides, neighborhood walks, community events, and still......come home alone and not meet a single person! What do I come home to? A person who rejects me, and has their own issues that they refuse to deal with. I am working on changing myself. A HUGE part of that is changing my environment, and the people who influence me. "to thine own self be true." I am stuck with the wrong gal. Plain and simple. When she is gone I feel a wave of contentment, relief, and happiness. "I'd rather live in an empty house than with an empty spouse". You want to get laid and be desired by someone you desire? I get that, boy do I get that. Personally there is nothing wrong with getting that highly saught after confidence booster!! Meanwhile I've been told by woman, "greatcoastal your how old 54? I thought you where more like 43 like me?" (thank you! That's a wonderful compliment I'LL GLADLY TAKE IT) Woman who used to see me at the bus stop with my children , or years ago used to hand me their kids at sunday school, see me at the gym, and ask" do you work here? I didn't recognize you!" That's great! but if I just sit at home and stay with my rejecting W. it doesn't do me much good does it? (hence the divorce) I am not going to just wither on the vine. I am going to eventually meet dominate woman, and desolate woman. They will all have a fear - abandonment. Some will never comes to terms with that and they will take it to their grave. I've been warned " greatcoastal I worry about you, you have depth of character....you are going to be eaten alive! It's brutal out there!" It's true. I have to be willing to submit, and guard my heart at the same time. I am going to learn by fire. I'm going to do it though. I am worth it. And so are you!!
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Post by obobfla on Jan 27, 2018 16:38:16 GMT -5
I am 5’8”, a 36DD and was once a model, for like a minute. I am college educated, make six figures, involved in a lot of different things and drive a fun car. That’s what the outside world sees. What I WANT to be seen is that I truly care about others and want to meet their needs.... while having mine met as well. And I’m pretty damn open-minded sexually! It’s nice to be appreciated physically. I work to be as healthy as I possibly can and I want to look as good as I feel. But I want to be truly known. That seems to be rare. I have a metaphor I can’t seem to make work, but I feel as if I’m FAR more interesting than my refusers give me credit for, and yet somehow that turns them off. I remember a time before I was married that I found myself becoming friends with beautiful women and staying firmly in the friend zone. While I was attracted to these women, they were not attracted to me. I was a nice guy, but not their type. And since I didn’t want to get my ego totally crushed, I never pressed them on my desires. Besides, I was a drunk at the time. But what I could never understand is the men they did choose as lovers. They went for the good-looking bad boys who belittled them, ignored them, and occasionally hurt them. I called it “suicide by men.” For as beautiful and sweet as these women were, they never saw themselves that way. They always found some flaw in themselves. They gave themselves the relationships they thought they deserved. Even when the men behaved, these women found ways to make the relationships toxic. I found myself lucky to be safely in the friend zone, for I did like these women and appreciated their friendship. But I was sure glad I did not get involved with them. When I did get involved with someone, I became totally honest. I made my wife promise that if I ever started drinking again that she would leave me. Unfortunately, my wife could not be that open with me, and I should have noticed. But with other women, I just tried to be myself and let my lovers know what I wanted. So from now on, instead of pretending to be a white knight and rescuing damsels in distress, I just let the damsels borrow my sword to save themselves. And if they do, I sure hope they find me attractive and give me my sword back. Maybe even let me use their scabbard to store my sword
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