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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 15, 2017 13:36:27 GMT -5
When the day comes and I have gotten to know someone else intimately, would I want them reading what I posted here? I think I would? It's an accurate description of all that I went through, my feelings, thoughts, concerns, the good, the bad, the ugly. It shows a learning process as well. Hopefully it shows my caring for others and efforts to help others as well. Would you want your next partner reading these?
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Post by jim44444 on Feb 15, 2017 16:22:49 GMT -5
I would not care if a future partner read my stories or comments. They reflect my views and ideas and truths. If I were ashamed of what I wrote then how could I call anyone here a friend?
Actually I have not gone out of my way to hide my activity from my wife. All she would need to do is pick up my tablet, open the browser and click the iliasm icon.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2017 18:24:40 GMT -5
I would want any future partner to know what I had to endure.
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Post by bballgirl on Feb 15, 2017 19:00:33 GMT -5
I can explain that with the words from my mouth.
This place is my private place.
They do not need to read everything I write.
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Post by baza on Feb 15, 2017 21:27:52 GMT -5
Ms enna is welcome to (and indeed sometimes does) sometimes have a look in here to see what I've been writing.
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 15, 2017 21:42:53 GMT -5
I can explain that with the words from my mouth. This place is my private place. They do not need to read everything I write. I know that i can't remember it all, or be able to speak it as well as I can take the time to write it. Many times I look back, and ask myself, "did I write that?, that's not half bad!". It would be like sharing my diary with someone. |
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Post by tamara68 on Feb 16, 2017 7:04:50 GMT -5
It wouldn't be a problem if he would read it, but it wouldn't be necessary either. And it would take a lot of time that can be used in a more pleasant way  |
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Post by WindSister on Feb 16, 2017 11:24:40 GMT -5
Transparency enhances intimacy. I didn't invite my now-husband to read what I wrote at EP, but then, I did delete most of it (kinda bummed about that I think I had some good stuff over there). But, then, that was a deeply personal journey full of pain, trauma, heartbreak, eye-opening experiences and some things I am not that proud of. I shared it all with him, though - albeit an edited version, but I still shared all of it - even the stuff I wasn't proud of. Now that we are married I did tell him I am here just to update and reconnect with people who had helped me by keeping me honest with myself and spurred personal growth instead of letting me do the blame game, play victim, etc. I asked him if he wanted to read what I wrote but he said he trusts me and if it helps me he supports me. So I am not keeping it from him, he knows and is welcome to jump in here anytime.  |
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 16, 2017 11:35:53 GMT -5
Transparency enhances intimacy. I didn't invite my now-husband to read what I wrote at EP, but then, I did delete most of it (kinda bummed about that I think I had some good stuff over there). But, then, that was a deeply personal journey full of pain, trauma, heartbreak, eye-opening experiences and some things I am not that proud of. I shared it all with him, though - albeit an edited version, but I still shared all of it - even the stuff I wasn't proud of. Now that we are married I did tell him I am here just to update and reconnect with people who had helped me by keeping me honest with myself and spurred personal growth instead of letting me do the blame game, play victim, etc. I asked him if he wanted to read what I wrote but he said he trusts me and if it helps me he supports me. So I am not keeping it from him, he knows and is welcome to jump in here anytime. That's terrific! Your both welcome to join in anytime! Reminds me of the story, The lady says, "I would never attend that church, it's full of hypocrites!" The man looks at her and says, "come on in, there's always room for one more". One can always dream of meeting someone on a site like this, who has read all your posts, and wants you ,even stronger, because they can relate to your issues, and sees your true self, with all your strengths. |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2017 14:43:53 GMT -5
I think I would rather tell him verbally. I've noticed that sometimes my writing really blasts people - it's too strong or something. I need to be careful with my writing.
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Post by lakeside4003 on Feb 19, 2017 9:49:59 GMT -5
While I'm generally OK with anyone who knows me reading what I've posted here - I believe the larger spectrum of what we all have written really would help anyone to see how disappointing, devastating and painful a SM can be.
It's the acknowledgement and compassion that makes all of our stories come alive, imo.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Feb 19, 2017 12:05:47 GMT -5
I don't think it's so important that someone read my past posts. For a current "be here now" relationship, I would find it more important and intimate to relate to them what I felt like and how that has changed since that time. The journey out had a lot of terribly intense items - - now, I have a lot of distance & some closure on many of those things and I don't think revisiting the old scorn & vitriol will be all that helpful. I would rather be able to share verbally the healed scars than to have a new person go back to my past to visit the bleeding wounds as they were stored online at that time.
I'm not sure that makes sense, but is a feeling that I have.
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