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Post by WindSister on Feb 14, 2017 16:02:13 GMT -5
.. that someday I will share a home with a man I love and have a great garden to play in - I won't name names, I don't even know if this member is here anymore. But I do -- I have it both. Every time I am in my garden I think of that conversation and this person who I hope is still thriving in life!! And to those still struggling I want to say something helpful, but I am no guru, you know? How I ended up here feels like a miracle because I was a mess. But one day I got it all straight in my head. I REALLY DID. I have the notebook I wrote in to prove it, too. I wrote and wrote. I wrote what I wanted, what I wouldn't settle for anymore, I gave myself a pep talk. I told myself "I just haven't met him yet." I gave myself permission to feel sad about that, but yet, LIVE LIFE. Live life being kind to myself and not putting up with men who threw only crumbs or men who were still clinging to exes or men who wanted to use me or abuse me ( oh, it happened) . I don't know where that strength came from. I don't know where my husband came from, but next thing I knew -- there he was. I will remain forever grateful. Our favorite past time - fires on a Friday night with music playing. It's not the lake view we used to enjoy in our honeymoon suite on the lake, but it's our own little lot of dirt and it's private back there. I remember having a fire once with my ex, he looked at it through the dining room window and gave me a thumbs up as he walked from getting a snack in the kitchen to the living room to play more video games. LMAO. I sat out there alone, staring into the flames dreaming of a better life. It happens if you pursue it!!!  |
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Post by bballgirl on Feb 14, 2017 16:18:29 GMT -5
You are such an inspiration and I'm happy that you persued and found your happiness.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Feb 14, 2017 16:33:52 GMT -5
Excellent post! Right down to the Ex's thumbs up through the window. We can't make this crap up!
So happy for you to have a home & garden to share with a real love.
Thank you for this post!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2017 16:56:30 GMT -5
It's such a beautiful story and victory for you.
You made my day today, thank you.
I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day enjoying your shared life.
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Post by baza on Feb 14, 2017 16:58:04 GMT -5
G'day Sister WindSister. Great to see your update, and your forward movement. As you can see, I haven't moved forward at all, still hanging around this ILIASM group, just like I hung around the old EP group !!! Still with Ms enna (nearly 8 years now) still as happy as a pig in mud. Terrific to see you again. baz (aka as bazzar on the old EP group) |
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Post by lwoetin on Feb 14, 2017 20:54:17 GMT -5
Congratulations on finding true love and happy marriage. I am jealous of your lovely, green garden. It's great everyone gets along well in your large extended family.
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Post by WindSister on Feb 15, 2017 9:20:11 GMT -5
G'day Sister WindSister . Great to see your update, and your forward movement. As you can see, I haven't moved forward at all, still hanging around this ILIASM group, just like I hung around the old EP group !!! Still with Ms enna (nearly 8 years now) still as happy as a pig in mud. Terrific to see you again. baz (aka as bazzar on the old EP group) Well, I am glad to see that you are helping people and also most glad you and Enna are still together! You all helped me so much. There is no other group online that is this insightful, open and honest. Not that I have looked all that hard, but I also don't really need to. I am not in a sexless marriage anymore but still wanted to check in and keep in touch so I will hang out a little anyway.  I have definitely forgotten some of my struggles in the past. Life is just so different now. Have a great week and HI to Enna! |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2017 14:53:34 GMT -5
Wow - [Twilight Zone theme music] - every so often I fantasize that I'm with the right man, and we have *exactly* that kind of outdoor fireplace....
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Post by RexCorvus on Feb 17, 2017 17:20:20 GMT -5
Thank you so very much for sharing WindSister!!! This is truly inspiring!! I am in determined pursuit of THIS happiness and am extremely hopeful that THIS is my destination as well. Thank you! RC |
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Post by obobfla on Feb 17, 2017 17:58:30 GMT -5
First of all, I love an outdoor fireplace, whether I am alone, talking with friends and family, or sharing with a lover. But finding someone great after a bad marriage is so wonderful. Enjoy every day of it!
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Post by ggold on Feb 17, 2017 22:25:57 GMT -5
WindSister Thank you so much for sharing. I am holding onto hope that I will be where you are now in the not too distant future. Enjoy the life that you deserve...filled with love and happiness!! xoxo GG
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Post by WindSister on Feb 21, 2017 17:40:20 GMT -5
WindSister Thank you so much for sharing. I am holding onto hope that I will be where you are now in the not too distant future. Enjoy the life that you deserve...filled with love and happiness!! xoxo GG Everyone deserves that. ❤️ I really wish it for everyone here too. |
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Post by WindSister on Feb 21, 2017 17:53:22 GMT -5
When I think of all I'm thankful for with my husband, sex isn't as high up there as I thought it would be. Meaning, it's not all we share. There is so much about us that I love AND I love our sexual life but our sex life isn't what I thought I would be happy with (I am very happy with it). When I was getting out of my SM and when I was single, I thought I needed off the wall, creative, triple x kind of sex to stay satisfied. A ten year drought does something to a gal! I did experiment quite a bit - Things most people would never expect from me in real life. It was fun (most of it, a couple experiences not so much) but mostly it was rewarding. I don't regret any of it but as time went on I knew that keeping up a kinky sexual lifestyle wasn't really what I was after. I had that clear in my head before I met my husband. So when he came along I was so ready for him. I loved his respect, kindness, softness, coupled with a very much alive sexual appetite. He surprises me every once in awhile with a little extra sass and gets a special nickname those times, but usually we are what others might describe as "vanilla" but its not vanilla to me. It's perfect. We connect and renew our bond and love and it doesn't take wild imaginations and set ups.
Not sure why I'm sharing that, just felt like getting it out. 😉
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Post by WindSister on Feb 21, 2017 18:08:02 GMT -5
I'm waiting for him to get home. He texts me his usual, "I'm on my way to you, baby!" I'm trying to figure out how that still makes me smile after almost 3 years. Like a real, from the heart smile. It's scary to love someone this much. But, man, I love my husband sooo much.
I posted this on Facebook once. It fits here:
I think you can't be truly grateful until you have lived a bit and lost a lot - for in coming through despair/tragedy/heartbreak your heart is changed - it's more open and fills more easily. It fills so much it's overflowing and you can't help but feel deep, real, inner joy for - well, EVERYTHING. Taking someone or something for granted is no longer possible when you know what that loss feels like. You have to stay awake to life, don't fall asleep and become complacent, indifferent. It's all an amazing miracle. And then, the funny thing is, it's this very gratitude and appreciation that keeps MORE joy, love and happiness flowing in your life. What you appreciate, truly appreciates and that includes the love of a spouse/partner/Family/Friend. Appreciation and gratitude gives LIFE to love. <3
Alright, I'm out. Take care, whoever landed here to read this. 💕
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Post by WindSister on Feb 22, 2017 9:56:48 GMT -5
One more update -- last night our hairstylist said to us, "you guys are my favorite couple, there's just something really good about you." It always feels good hearing that - validating, though we don't really "need" the validation. People pick up on our love - it's real - it's good. No facades. It's possible. |
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I have definitely forgotten some of my struggles in the past. Life is just so different now. Have a great week and HI to Enna! 
