|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Feb 13, 2017 16:06:35 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by baza on Feb 13, 2017 21:27:23 GMT -5
Pretty thought provoking that referenced piece.
Thanks for posting the link Brother greatcoastal.
|
|
listedship
Junior Member
Posts: 38 
Age Range: 41-45
|
Post by listedship on Feb 16, 2017 22:01:43 GMT -5
Thanks for posting - interesting article
|
|
|
|
Post by cc on Feb 18, 2017 16:57:00 GMT -5
A really good article...resonates a lot of truth. My H is a workaholic. He has completely shut down. When I stopped mothering him and not holding the role up they way he had set it up and I began to demand a husband and partner, everything fell apart. So, there's that.
|
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Feb 18, 2017 17:36:31 GMT -5
A really good article...resonates a lot of truth. My H is a workaholic. He has completely shut down. When I stopped mothering him and not holding the role up they way he had set it up and I began to demand a husband and partner, everything fell apart. So, there's that. Sounds like your husband takes a very selfish passive approach. Saying NOTHING is saying SOMETHING. Doing NOTHING is doing SOMETHING! Perhaps responsibilities like a wife, marriage, family, raising kids, sharing of household duties and disciplining children doesn't fall into his comfort zone. If you pick up all his slack than why should he do it or let it bother him?. In comes the once a month reset, and back to his content life. Sounds very one sided. Someone needs to do some growing up. Sadly the only way it's going to happen is for you to divorce him. Will you really be loosing much? Just a ton of excess baggage to no longer have to carry around. You have enough of your own. Do you say you have been married 19 yrs? The new law in Fl. states that once you have been married 20 yrs, alimony is owed to you for life. Something to look into. |
|
|
|
Post by cc on Feb 18, 2017 17:52:44 GMT -5
I truly don't want him to be owed to me forever. If I find the courage and will to leave, I want him free as well. I will go back to my career and raising the kids. I don't want to take anything from him. He will support his boys, he is good about that. We spoil them and enjoy that.
I was opening up to a friend who had recently remarried her ex husband. She said, "My God, that is S all over. I had to divorce him for him to wake up." Wake-up he did! He makes us all proud. I don't see my H fighting for me...that hurts my heart and scares me. 19 years is a long time, ya know? We each gave a lot and breaking that covenant and him not even putting up a fight...that will hurt. I am in the raw stage of this right now. I am desperately in love with the man I married, but not the man in front of me. Why is this so weird and hard?
I know I can't stay in these roles anymore. I know in my mind that this is the next step.
|
|
