Not sure where this is going

Unfortunately I don't think this sounds good. I've tried this approach and it didn't work. In essence it sounds like you are allowing her to completely control the situation. You're just biding your time in frustration until she decides that she'll at least be agreeable to sex. Are you willing to continue this pattern forever? Is there really improvement or are you just keeping your mouth shut?

You need to be able to express your needs, ideally in a civil conversation and not a confrontation. Don't broach the topic immediately after you've been refused. Nothing good will come from that. Emotions run too high in those situations. If you can't have that conversation without being shut down just talking about your needs I'm afraid I don't see much hope in the long term.