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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2017 14:25:01 GMT -5
After reading so many of you talking about how your spouse reacts badly to breaking up don't you wish they fine someone else as soon as possible so that they want to move on and stop fixating on the break up and hopeful want to bring everything to a conclusion so they can move on with their new love asap.
For those that have a difficult time with feelings of jealously and rejection and the thought of them being with someone else feels like such a betrayal. Can't you get over this knowing that you have past on your nightmare to a poor unsuspecting person. Instead of feeling angry you feel sorry for them, which is a much more satisfying feeling when you dislike someone?
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Post by richfairy72 on Feb 12, 2017 14:44:48 GMT -5
Very good post, celt. I need to do a mindshift to thinking about how another poor soul would cope with my h!! I think I have been more than patient......
Maybe we should set up a dating website where we match up refusers, but then us that have been refused. Sorted!
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Post by tamara68 on Feb 12, 2017 14:50:50 GMT -5
It would be great if my stbx would find someone else. For him. I think it is extremely unlikely he will ever find an other foolish woman, but you never know. I feel sorry for her already.
His demands don't make it easy to find someone. She would have to be a virgin (once touched by an other man, women are dirty). She would have to be smart but stupid enough to fall for him. She would have to comply to all his rules, hygiene is the main focus. If he would be interested in having sex with her, she would have to learn doing it with not too much movement so the sheets won't wrinkle. She would have to know that he is always right. She would need huge amounts of patience. Everything takes at least 10 times as much time than with normal people.
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Post by obobfla on Feb 12, 2017 15:16:04 GMT -5
How I wish my wife could find someone else! She can be his worry, and he can pay her bills.
Right now, she is in the hospital with various heart, lung, and gynecological issues. Since she has been there, the stress level at home has dropped considerably. Even with a 14-year-old boy at home, the refrigerator has stayed full.
Maybe I should post her pic on Tinder?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2017 15:21:37 GMT -5
Very good post, celt. I need to do a mindshift to thinking about how another poor soul would cope with my h!! I think I have been more than patient...... Maybe we should set up a dating website where we match up refusers, but then us that have been refused. Sorted! I have a feeling if we put all our spouses in room together they would hate each other they would think everyone else was a stuck up entitled individual. |
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Post by bballgirl on Feb 12, 2017 17:12:35 GMT -5
Very good post, celt. I need to do a mindshift to thinking about how another poor soul would cope with my h!! I think I have been more than patient...... Maybe we should set up a dating website where we match up refusers, but then us that have been refused. Sorted! I have a feeling if we put all our spouses in room together they would hate each other they would think everyone else was a stuck up entitled individual. That's right! Selfish takers only want givers. I won't waste my time with a taker again, I'd rather be alone. I can be alone and still have sex. |
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Post by baza on Feb 12, 2017 20:41:21 GMT -5
It's an interesting premise you raise Brother thecelt.
When I first left (October 09) I was pretty indifferent to what my ex missus may or may not have been doing in her private life.
After a couple of years, I came to a bit more of a charitable view, and - if that was what she wanted (another bloke in her life) then I would have been all for her so doing.
Whether that ever happened or not I know not, and nor was / is it any of my business.
I suspect that had she started banging blokes when I left it probably may have assuaged some of the guilty feelings I had about leaving (I think that guilt feeling is in most leaving spouses to some extent) - but then again it might have really pissed me off too.
I dunno. (that's why I find your post raising this matter very interesting @thecelt).
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Post by cagedtiger on Feb 12, 2017 21:16:25 GMT -5
My wife was single and celibate for 7 years before we started dating. She'd resolved to spend her life happily single with her dog, her cats, her little house, and her career. She thought about maybe adopting on her own later down the road, but she hadn't planned on dating ever again. I don't know if she'll ever consider dating again after I leave, but I do know that she won't want to have anything to do with me for at least a year or two after everything is said and done.
I'm ok with not getting involved in her romantic life in the future.
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Post by WindSister on Feb 14, 2017 16:25:37 GMT -5
Oh my gosh. I DREAMED of my ex finding someone else and leaving me. It would have made my decision easier. But, as it turned out, he made very easy when he told me after I left and he did some "weekend soul searching" that he can lose his dog, house and wife (in that order) and still be okay. He also said he would have cheated on me if someone fell in his lap. He is still with the first girl he dated after me - they met two weeks after I moved out. Might seem rash, but at the same time I can tell she is PERFECT for him.  So it all works out in the end. Do what you do for you and it all works out. |
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So it all works out in the end. Do what you do for you and it all works out. 