Post by lakeside4003 on Jan 31, 2017 16:05:46 GMT -5
What would it take to consider moving towards reconciliation? (I've already told my wife that a separation is the 'next step' for us...both been in many years marriage counseling - together and solo. my therapist 'hasn't discouraged' the path towards ending the marriage.)
so, I answered '2 things...'
1 - she would need to be able to convince me that she's taken a long and thoughtful 'walk in my shoes', knowing me as she does - and be able to discuss my feelings of frustration, annoyance, abandonment, confusion, loneliness and so on - all without any attempts of her trying to justify her rationale, or her version of the same story and numerous other darvo'isms. Strictly a respectful and thorough acknowledgement - with sincere empathy.
2 - she would need to 'make me feel like she wants me', at least sometimes... hopefully getting back in touch with her sensuality, and ability to go beyond 'starfish sex'.
We would, of course, have to lose our LISM status, big time... This, of course can happen in so many ways and would comfortably be a 2-way street, I would ensure to focus on all of the nice, little things we all can do and say for each other.
not gonna hold my breath, folks...
Cheers to my therapist, who helps me be clear and focused on 'my path'. He suggested we start getting together much less frequently, he's not sure there's much more to say, other than 'follow your true north'.
so, I answered '2 things...'
1 - she would need to be able to convince me that she's taken a long and thoughtful 'walk in my shoes', knowing me as she does - and be able to discuss my feelings of frustration, annoyance, abandonment, confusion, loneliness and so on - all without any attempts of her trying to justify her rationale, or her version of the same story and numerous other darvo'isms. Strictly a respectful and thorough acknowledgement - with sincere empathy.
2 - she would need to 'make me feel like she wants me', at least sometimes... hopefully getting back in touch with her sensuality, and ability to go beyond 'starfish sex'.
We would, of course, have to lose our LISM status, big time... This, of course can happen in so many ways and would comfortably be a 2-way street, I would ensure to focus on all of the nice, little things we all can do and say for each other.
not gonna hold my breath, folks...
Cheers to my therapist, who helps me be clear and focused on 'my path'. He suggested we start getting together much less frequently, he's not sure there's much more to say, other than 'follow your true north'.
