Baggage.

Do you think that - as a result of your own family dynamic when you were a kid - you carried some baggage in to your marriage ? Yes.

Do you have any definite idea of what that baggage you carried in to the marriage was ?  I was the youngest of 11 kids - I got used to accepting table scraps for affection and also good at justifying for others why they had no energy to give me better.
Do you think you have accrued further baggage as a result of your participation in your ILIASM shithole ? Yes - those bad habits crept in again when crises occurred and went untreated.
Do you have any definite idea of what additional baggage you have accrued ? I have rebuilt my self-esteem so many times, it may as well be a sandcastle.  Resiliently, I will focus on the fact that this means: I can do it again.

Secondary question (which requires some guesswork by you).
The same 4 questions as above, but relevant to your spouse.

Did they - as a result of their own family dynamic when they were a kid - carry some baggage in to the marriage ? I don't know much about his childhood - not enough to make a good guess about this.  But as an adult when his dad would visit, he would "get funny" and it seems like if that's how it was when he was a kid then he also learned that earning conditional love was supposed to be good enough and that seeking an unconditional love was a daydream, not a reality to be found or even pursued.
Do they have any definite idea of what that baggage was ? Him? He MAY know, but I imagine that it dwells in his unexamined subconscious, where his fear of mortality as well as his mortal fear of true intimacy reside, undisturbed by peering eyes or hearts.
Have they accrued further baggage as a result of their participation in the ILIASM shithole ? Probably.  Inside a shithole, most everyone gets some shit on them.
Have they any definite idea of what that additional baggage is ? I don't think he believes he is "young enough" to ever cultivate another monogamous relationship.  That sort of makes me a little sad for him, but I don't have that much time to dwell on that really.

Finally.
Is your spouse working on their baggage.  Not that I am aware of, but he could be.
Are you working on yours ? YES, daily, weekly - sometimes minute by minute.
Anything you are finding helpful, like individual counselling, your support network, participation in this (or similar) group, group therapy, medication (for any diagnosed matter) etc - I do find that therapy is very helpful.  Learned to "pray" in the mornings (talk to my higher power) and to journal at night reviewing the day to clear my head for sleeping better. Rigorous honestly with myself, while often painful, goes a long way to keeping the baggage as minimal as possible.