The Most Challenging Mindf**k to Get Past

thebaffledking Full Member Posts: 329 Age Range: 51-55	The Most Challenging Mindf**k to Get Past Jan 26, 2017 9:21:24 GMT -5 eternaloptimism likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by thebaffledking on Jan 26, 2017 9:21:24 GMT -5 Jan 26, 2017 8:38:19 GMT -5 eternaloptimism said: thebaffledking it's nice to see your lovely pic again x I spy EO's little eye!
	In the betrayal of his love he awakened To face a world of cold reality

lakeside4003
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Posts: 111

The Most Challenging Mindf**k to Get Past Jan 26, 2017 12:03:17 GMT -5 eternaloptimism and lyn like this

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Post by lakeside4003 on Jan 26, 2017 12:03:17 GMT -5

BK, I honor your natural feelings to 'protect/do no harm' - but it's not about harming or devastating anymore...and, your first 'order of protection' has always been to yourself...(you can't take care of others if you're hurting big time)

You have already been harmed and devastated - now it's time to free each other up. Yes, my wife will freak out much more than I already have on the 'what happens now? what will others say/think?' - but she'll be fine and able to maintain her lifestyle and day-to-day routines without missing a step.

Yes, it's a biggie for both of you - and good for you to acknowledge how emotional and heavy this can be! You clearly have thought this through and you know that there are so many of us 'standing with you'.

the old joke about 'why is divorce so expensive? (A - 'because it's worth it!') is somewhat similar here... perhaps you're feeling the extra heavy heart because you know it's a huge emotional experience for both of you, but worth it in the long run.

I was more concerned to maintain the home and core settings for the kids before they are able to fly the nest, which is now upon us.

lyn
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Posts: 634

The Most Challenging Mindf**k to Get Past Jan 26, 2017 13:01:22 GMT -5 via mobile bballgirl, eternaloptimism, and 1 more like this

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Post by lyn on Jan 26, 2017 13:01:22 GMT -5

Lately I've been thinking about this "bomb" I'm going to be dropping in a few months. My H is absolutely going to be blindsided, or will act like it. I can sit here and say to myself, "How in the world could he be blindsided after the decade of letters, talks, tears, scented candles, acts of service, etc., etc., etc.,?" None of this matters, at this point.

I've only just began to realize that my "worry" over blindsiding, seeing him sad, upset, crying what have you, should more acurrately be described as my FEAR of his reaction. Honestly, I DON'T know how he is going to react. He could be a huge, scary A-hole. He could say,"Good, I'm sick of you anyway, get out - leave me alone". If this is how he chooses to react, all it would really be is verbalization of the rejecting and abandonment that Ive now felt for close to 11 years.

I don't know thebaffledking, do you think you might also be afraid of her reaction? You have a beautifully huge heart, this much is obvious, but, maybe there is some very reasonable FEAR involved also. She's probably going to say some pretty awful things that could be hard to hear. For me there is this for sure.

Last Edit: Jan 26, 2017 13:05:53 GMT -5 by lyn

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The Most Challenging Mindf**k to Get Past

Post by thebaffledking on Jan 26, 2017 9:21:24 GMT -5

Post by lakeside4003 on Jan 26, 2017 12:03:17 GMT -5

Post by lyn on Jan 26, 2017 13:01:22 GMT -5

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