jgb
Junior Member
Posts: 32 
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Post by jgb on Jan 26, 2017 15:23:41 GMT -5
This reminds me of this comedian I was listening to on Sirius XM Comedy channel. He was talking about not having sex with his girlfriend and told her "can you believe that we only had sex once in the last month?" Her response was "I didn't know that you were going to keep track". He said "Keep track? It was none...and then I added that time we did it. What number did you get?"
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Post by richfairy72 on Jan 26, 2017 18:01:23 GMT -5
One of our members was organized enough to keep score on a calendar. After the usual gaslighting he produced the calendar. She then berated him for keeping score. Nope, there is never any validation of any of this. Oh my god, I did keep track for a while last year, to prove how infrequent it was. Then I was accused of point scoring and keeping tabs. We just can't win. We are unreasonable whatever we do..... |
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Post by Apocrypha on Jan 26, 2017 23:23:16 GMT -5
I also kept a calendar, starting during the open relationship period.
-me with her (who initiated, what was done)
-her with him
-rejected attempts to initiate
It was incredibly helpful to me with her gaslighting and kept me on track in holding to the boundaries I had set with the open marriage agreement. She did indeed try to shame me for keeping a journal when she lied to me and our family counselor. The calendar was FOR ME to stop bullshitting myself. Even knowing that, I was still aghast at the number of times I was rejected, compared to the number of times I wasn't.
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Post by deborahmanning on Jan 26, 2017 23:39:16 GMT -5
This thread is so validating. Shaming me for keeping track, check; obfuscating and lying in front of the therapists, check. It's never going to happen again but I am struggling with having officially, publicly given up.
Thank you, guys.
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Post by beachguy on Jan 27, 2017 2:08:49 GMT -5
One of our members was organized enough to keep score on a calendar. After the usual gaslighting he produced the calendar. She then berated him for keeping score. Nope, there is never any validation of any of this. Oh my god, I did keep track for a while last year, to prove how infrequent it was. Then I was accused of point scoring and keeping tabs. We just can't win. We are unreasonable whatever we do..... There is a moment when you realize that there is nothing left to reason about. Nothing to argue about. No way you will ever be validated for your needs. There is nothing left but to leave. |
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