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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 13, 2017 18:37:36 GMT -5
Choose your own words. Direct, controlling, emotionless, (as hard as that may be) factual sentences.
Mine was down to three:
1) I hired an attorney, I can recommend one for you.
2) I withdrew half the money from our joint account, as my attorney instructed.
3) I am ending our marriage.
All said in a public place where other people were present, with some privacy. We drove separate cars.
Rejecting a reset is a very powerful tool. However after the realization that the law is now involved, money, and control issues will come your way. Use it to your advantage. An attorney will calm your fears.
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Post by thebaffledking on Jan 13, 2017 19:41:38 GMT -5
OMG, you are a ROCKSTAR!!! I am so proud of you! Having followed your painful story, this is just the most amazing post to read! YOU WERE BRAVE!!!!!
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Post by GeekGoddess on Jan 13, 2017 21:34:14 GMT -5
Kick ass, callisto! The real difference between afraid and brave is not fearlessness. The real difference is action. You felt the fear and acted anyway. THAT, my dear friend, is bravery! Stay resolute at the lunch. You do not have to be mean to show you mean what you say. For me, I had been way meaner to my H in previous times than I was on the night of the talk. It was my cold distance that made him realize what/who/that he was dealing with someone he had not recognized. I was not passionately pissed off. There was NO passion to it really. Just: resolute. I cried, even. But I never melted. Don't melt. As he looks at you convincingly across that lunch table, picture the turned back at night in bed, picture your own tears each time he refused you, be kind to YOUR own self who needs and wants love & intimacy. Be the adult at the table. Decide your own future. |
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Post by Pinkberry on Jan 13, 2017 21:38:46 GMT -5
Good for you!
I don't know what your refuser is like, but if he's even approaching the level of asshole that mine was, be cautious. Skilled manipulators can turn that statement into a "threat of suicide" in court or wherever it suits their needs. Hopefully, this will not be the case, but I always feel remiss when I don't point out things like this.
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Post by callisto on Jan 14, 2017 15:12:06 GMT -5
OMG, you are a ROCKSTAR!!! I am so proud of you! Having followed your painful story, this is just the most amazing post to read! YOU WERE BRAVE!!!!! I am really enjoying the idea of being an uppercase rockstar. I stuck to my guns today. Thank you BK. |
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