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Post by callisto on Jan 13, 2017 12:59:43 GMT -5
All I said was, 'I can't go on' .. He then didn't want to hear anything else, So I did do it. I was brave. I
I have edited this ferociously - I do know that I have't really done anything yet... Need to follow through with action
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Post by lakeside4003 on Jan 13, 2017 13:04:41 GMT -5
good for you callisto! blue skies ahead!!
(why do I feel than the refuser men need a harder kick in the ass then the refuser women?)
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Post by bballgirl on Jan 13, 2017 13:07:49 GMT -5
Congrats! Find your happiness!!
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jan 13, 2017 13:21:41 GMT -5
Go go go callisto !!!! Now move on with the plan. Don't let him start to manipulate you back round. Hardest bit is done. Now stick to your guns and get your life back. Yay 🙌🙌🙌 |
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endthegame
Junior Member
Posts: 96 
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by endthegame on Jan 13, 2017 13:35:43 GMT -5
Fucking yeah! Well done. Keep the momentum going and get out.
Keep your cool, breathe, and don't get pulled into manipulative shit. He will now try a lot of crazy shit, maybe,probably. Take it in your stride. Keep focus on seeing this through.
Again, well done.
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Post by callisto on Jan 13, 2017 14:05:02 GMT -5
Go go go callisto !!!! Now move on with the plan. Don't let him start to manipulate you back round. Hardest bit is done. Now stick to your guns and get your life back. Yay 🙌🙌🙌 Hahaha. Thanks EO but you are so so right. He is being super nice to me now and gently talking about talking about it tomorrow. I feel so relieved that I have to be wary against getting sucked back in like I have three times before ...so tired! |
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Post by callisto on Jan 13, 2017 14:10:24 GMT -5
Fucking yeah! Well done. Keep the momentum going and get out. Keep your cool, breathe, and don't get pulled into manipulative shit. He will now try a lot of crazy shit, maybe,probably. Take it in your stride. Keep focus on seeing this through. Again, well done. Thank you... Funny how everyone knows the danger of being so relieved that their spouse is being understanding that you roll over and before you know it realise you are still there. Will have to focus on all the good people on this site and imagine they are sitting next to me wagging their fingers in warning! |
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Post by shamwow on Jan 13, 2017 14:11:44 GMT -5
Go go go callisto !!!! Now move on with the plan. Don't let him start to manipulate you back round. Hardest bit is done. Now stick to your guns and get your life back. Yay 🙌🙌🙌 Agree 100%. Now you've started something in motion, he is going to try to slow it or stop it. The best thing you can do now is do something every single day that moves the ball forward. For example: - Take an inventory of every room where you live. What is yours, what is his? - Get an inventory of financial records, and keep checking them to make sure nothing is amiss - Get plenty of exercise. The physical activity will help keep your stress down - If you don't have a support network (friends, family, etc...) get one. No matter what, you have us. Question, cry, vent. We understand where you are at and are here for you. And keep your head up. You've done nothing wrong. You will get through this. |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jan 13, 2017 14:13:26 GMT -5
Go go go callisto !!!! Now move on with the plan. Don't let him start to manipulate you back round. Hardest bit is done. Now stick to your guns and get your life back. Yay 🙌🙌🙌 Hahaha. Thanks EO but you are so so right. He is being super nice to me now and gently talking about talking about it tomorrow. I feel so relieved that I have to be wary against getting sucked back in like I have three times before ...so tired! He'll try everything. Be wary! there will be tears, apologies, promises, and he may well believe them himself as he's doing it. Bottom line is that both people need to want a relationship to work for it to work. And you no longer want it. Take your decision, run with it, claim your sex life back !!! keep us posted xxx |
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Post by callisto on Jan 13, 2017 14:15:02 GMT -5
Go go go callisto !!!! Now move on with the plan. Don't let him start to manipulate you back round. Hardest bit is done. Now stick to your guns and get your life back. Yay 🙌🙌🙌 Agree 100%. Now you've started something in motion, he is going to try to slow it or stop it. The best thing you can do now is do something every single day that moves the ball forward. For example: - Take an inventory of every room where you live. What is yours, what is his? - Get an inventory of financial records, and keep checking them to make sure nothing is amiss - Get plenty of exercise. The physical activity will help keep your stress down - If you don't have a support network (friends, family, etc...) get one. No matter what, you have us. Question, cry, vent. We understand where you are at and are here for you. And keep your head up. You've done nothing wrong. You will get through this. Thank you, I will do my level best to stay true to myself yet not get shafted(ahem, metaphorially). |
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Post by shamwow on Jan 13, 2017 14:30:53 GMT -5
Agree 100%. Now you've started something in motion, he is going to try to slow it or stop it. The best thing you can do now is do something every single day that moves the ball forward. For example: - Take an inventory of every room where you live. What is yours, what is his? - Get an inventory of financial records, and keep checking them to make sure nothing is amiss - Get plenty of exercise. The physical activity will help keep your stress down - If you don't have a support network (friends, family, etc...) get one. No matter what, you have us. Question, cry, vent. We understand where you are at and are here for you. And keep your head up. You've done nothing wrong. You will get through this. Thank you, I will do my level best to stay true to myself yet not get shafted(ahem, metaphorially). Honestly, you should mean that literally too. He will try reset sex with you. The best approach is for you to be the refuser this time. That, more than anything else, will show him just how serious you are. |
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Post by callisto on Jan 13, 2017 17:34:52 GMT -5
Thank you, I will do my level best to stay true to myself yet not get shafted(ahem, metaphorially). Honestly, you should mean that literally too. He will try reset sex with you. The best approach is for you to be the refuser this time. That, more than anything else, will show him just how serious you are. LOL - thank you for the warning but really there is far more chance of him reincarnating as Prince and singing, 'Tonight we're going to part like it's 1999' whilst ascending in a hot air balloon and floating off to Minneapolis. Much, much more dangerous is my own inability to leave the house which I am so comfortable in to go and stay in a friend's spare room... Very worried - I don't want to be like the girl who kept crying, 'Wolf'! Tomorrow I go for lunch with him to discuss things. I will have to be very very careful and not be as usual too kind/ soft/pushover.. |
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Post by shamwow on Jan 13, 2017 17:43:30 GMT -5
Honestly, you should mean that literally too. He will try reset sex with you. The best approach is for you to be the refuser this time. That, more than anything else, will show him just how serious you are. LOL - thank you for the warning but really there is far more chance of him reincarnating as Prince and singing, 'Tonight we're going to part like it's 1999' whilst ascending in a hot air balloon and floating off to Minneapolis. Much, much more dangerous is my own inability to leave the house which I am so comfortable in to go and stay in a friend's spare room... Very worried - I don't want to be like the girl who kept crying, 'Wolf'! Tomorrow I go for lunch with him to discuss things. I will have to be very very careful and not be as usual too kind/ soft/pushover.. Ah, the "Artist formerly known as Alive"  |
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Post by misssunnybunny on Jan 13, 2017 17:49:13 GMT -5
Congrats! Saying the words and getting that process started feels like the hardest part. Struggles will follow, but we are here for you. Best of luck with the talk tomorrow.
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Post by lyn on Jan 13, 2017 18:21:30 GMT -5
callisto You CAN do this. I know you care for him deeply and it's evident that you clearly do respect him for who he is (aside from the no screwing part). With your leaving he will likely lose it, be obviously upset-angry-distraught-despondent- you name it. What will also be there under the surface is this - he will probably respect you for standing up for yourself and seeing this through once and for all. Ok maybe that won't happen, but, I can guarantee you that after the dust settles and you're living in YOUR life, not in HIS life, you will have a respect for yourself unlike any you've ever known.
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