Post by Lithium92 on Jan 7, 2017 15:35:17 GMT -5
This was on the radio earlier. My wife was in the room but said nothing...
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b085h733
The refuser wife, starts at 25 mins.
Early menopausal 48 year old wife who lost interest in sex and starfished her husband. He got moody for lack of attention, love and sex, she closed down and emotionally checked out, husband had a three year affair with an ex - trips, holidays, etc. He was caught when the wife answered the phone he'd left in the kitchen from a cosmetic company delivering to the lover. Weeks later she intercepted a phone call from the lover, and he admitted it. Marriage guidance followed, she confronted the lover after he agreed to end it but didn't. They're hoping to stay married. The wife isn't countenancing divorce - it sounds like she just doesn't believe he might pull the pin and he should stick with it 'for better for worse'. He said he doesn't want sex with his wife any more, and she said sarcastically 'thank you for the unilateral decision...' The lack of self awareness is staggering but she says 'I'm a good person'.
The next week, the husband had his say:
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b085z6fn
He retired after supporting a good life for his non-working wife, but felt unwanted by her. Relationship talks including about lack of passionate sex were inconclusive and he got back with an ex after 30 years break, feeling attractive and alive again. When it was found out, he considered ending the marriage the wife went into meltdown - he says he wanted her to feel that strongly but in a positive way.
He sounds guilty about looking outside his marriage - she sounds entirely unbothered by her refusal to communicate about why he was clearly unhappy. He's also far more reticent about mentioning her faults than she is about his. He describes it as being torn between 30 years of marriage and somebody who cared for him and with whom he could've had an amazing wife ...
The impression I get is that he's essentially weaker than his wife and she's proprietorally hauled him back into a life he's unhappy with. I don't rate their chances of success.
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b086tjbm
The interviews got a massive response so they invited a relationship counsellor to analyse the case...
She identifies poor communication, the changed situation, mind reading, the effects of unhappy childhoods in dysfunctional families, poor self worth, not staying together for the kids, and that the husband wasn't just after sex but emotional connection and loss.
There's some listener responses to it too.
There's also a podcast version downloadable from the BBC iPm site.
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b085h733
The refuser wife, starts at 25 mins.
Early menopausal 48 year old wife who lost interest in sex and starfished her husband. He got moody for lack of attention, love and sex, she closed down and emotionally checked out, husband had a three year affair with an ex - trips, holidays, etc. He was caught when the wife answered the phone he'd left in the kitchen from a cosmetic company delivering to the lover. Weeks later she intercepted a phone call from the lover, and he admitted it. Marriage guidance followed, she confronted the lover after he agreed to end it but didn't. They're hoping to stay married. The wife isn't countenancing divorce - it sounds like she just doesn't believe he might pull the pin and he should stick with it 'for better for worse'. He said he doesn't want sex with his wife any more, and she said sarcastically 'thank you for the unilateral decision...' The lack of self awareness is staggering but she says 'I'm a good person'.
The next week, the husband had his say:
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b085z6fn
He retired after supporting a good life for his non-working wife, but felt unwanted by her. Relationship talks including about lack of passionate sex were inconclusive and he got back with an ex after 30 years break, feeling attractive and alive again. When it was found out, he considered ending the marriage the wife went into meltdown - he says he wanted her to feel that strongly but in a positive way.
He sounds guilty about looking outside his marriage - she sounds entirely unbothered by her refusal to communicate about why he was clearly unhappy. He's also far more reticent about mentioning her faults than she is about his. He describes it as being torn between 30 years of marriage and somebody who cared for him and with whom he could've had an amazing wife ...
The impression I get is that he's essentially weaker than his wife and she's proprietorally hauled him back into a life he's unhappy with. I don't rate their chances of success.
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b086tjbm
The interviews got a massive response so they invited a relationship counsellor to analyse the case...
She identifies poor communication, the changed situation, mind reading, the effects of unhappy childhoods in dysfunctional families, poor self worth, not staying together for the kids, and that the husband wasn't just after sex but emotional connection and loss.
There's some listener responses to it too.
There's also a podcast version downloadable from the BBC iPm site.
