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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 10, 2017 9:05:48 GMT -5
My controller STBX had labeled me her "less than helpful husband".In therapy I read off a 3 page list of "things my wife has not done in a long, long time",she could care less about it, it will be coming back to bite her. Many, many, things she will have to do for herself, once we live in separate homes. My STBX accused me of withdrawing cash while buying groceries. So after two decades of buying all the groceries,I refused to do it anymore, I said, "NO!, you accuse me off lying, stealing, cheating? Forget it! You do it ." One or two of the kids will go with her, trying to make sure she buys certain things.They are discovering what it's like dealing with the controller. She buys what she wants, what she likes, and everyone else will comply. That's not her problem. It's now comical,yet sad to watch her struggle and mess up buying the weekly supply for 9 people, and how she blames everyone else for not reminding her, or writing everything down. Always someone else's fault, not hers, someone else is to blame. Half of us are going out to the store buying what she doesn't get. I actually find it somewhat sad to watch the results of delusional selfrighteousness come back to bite a refuser like this. Somewhat sad.
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Post by iceman on Jan 10, 2017 10:08:45 GMT -5
Mine is certainly the controller type. She makes sure to give me very detailed instructions on how to do menial tasks on a regular basis, and if I don't do it the way she instructs then I "don't care or respect what she knows". I guess she must think I've been living in a cave waiting on her arrival my whole life so I could learn from the master on how to load a dishwasher. Funny, I seemed to get by pretty good on my own for quite a few years (didn't get married until mid-30's, owned my own home at 20, etc), but what would I do without my STBX there to give me non-stop unsolicited advice... I just got schooled tonight on how to load the damn dishwasher. I'm almost 56 years old and have loaded thousands of successful dishwasher loads. It's just petty, controlling shit that just adds to the dogpile of shit she puts on me. She'll be surprised to find that when the dogpile clears in a matter of weeks, I won't be there at the bottom. I'll be long gone. My wife constantly schools me on loading the dishwasher along with how to do the laundry. Give me a break!! I do more dishes and laundry than she does and they always turn out fine. Oh, I can't buy much of anything without being told it was unneeded or interrogated if I used some obscure coupon or discount she think she knows about. I guess I should appreciate her desire to be frugal but it's so annoying. Makes me want to buy more stuff with absolutely no discount and rub her face in it!!!!
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Post by csl on Jan 10, 2017 10:18:16 GMT -5
"Since I am an idiot at laundry and dishwashers, I will no longer do either. Have fun."
nah.....
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 10, 2017 11:26:43 GMT -5
I just got schooled tonight on how to load the damn dishwasher. I'm almost 56 years old and have loaded thousands of successful dishwasher loads. It's just petty, controlling shit that just adds to the dogpile of shit she puts on me. She'll be surprised to find that when the dogpile clears in a matter of weeks, I won't be there at the bottom. I'll be long gone. My wife constantly schools me on loading the dishwasher along with how to do the laundry. Give me a break!! I do more dishes and laundry than she does and they always turn out fine. Oh, I can't buy much of anything without being told it was unneeded or interrogated if I used some obscure coupon or discount she think she knows about. I guess I should appreciate her desire to be frugal but it's so annoying. Makes me want to buy more stuff with absolutely no discount and rub her face in it!!!! I have done that. And the price i paid was not pretty. And i thought sexlessness was the only tool that she could use against me ...
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 12, 2017 8:33:02 GMT -5
This morning my STBX said to her father, "you got off to a late start, I didn't think you were going to have breakfast ready". All the rest of us make our own breakfast, and she works from home now and doesn't have to be anywhere. Do you see the manipulative control in that? what kind of example does that give for the kids?
Worse is how he takes it, his thoughts are, "she's the boss." He's been so programmed by his wife/her mother. Again the acts of service, has become a regular, expected chore without recognition, or a thank you. He would say, "she helps me on the computer", well, so do the rest of us, among many other things, and expect nothing in return, just a thank you.
This goes full circle back to me giving her the challenge of once a week. Her response, "I don't know if I will ever be ready for that."
I said, to hell with that, total disrespect. I am out! What's bad is that this example will continue when the children are with her.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Jan 12, 2017 9:37:25 GMT -5
This morning my STBX said to her father, "you got off to a late start, I didn't think you were going to have breakfast ready". All the rest of us make our own breakfast, and she works from home now and doesn't have to be anywhere. Do you see the manipulative control in that? what kind of example does that give for the kids? Worse is how he takes it, his thoughts are, "she's the boss." He's been so programmed by his wife/her mother. Again the acts of service, has become a regular, expected chore without recognition, or a thank you. He would say, "she helps me on the computer", well, so do the rest of us, among many other things, and expect nothing in return, just a thank you. This goes full circle back to me giving her the challenge of once a week. Her response, "I don't know if I will ever be ready for that." I said, to hell with that, total disrespect. I am out! What's bad is that this example will continue when the children are with her. Fucking horrible.
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Post by lyn on Jan 12, 2017 13:13:35 GMT -5
My controller STBX had labeled me her "less than helpful husband".In therapy I read off a 3 page list of "things my wife has not done in a long, long time",she could care less about it, it will be coming back to bite her. Many, many, things she will have to do for herself, once we live in separate homes. My STBX accused me of withdrawing cash while buying groceries. So after two decades of buying all the groceries,I refused to do it anymore, I said, "NO!, you accuse me off lying, stealing, cheating? Forget it! You do it ." One or two of the kids will go with her, trying to make sure she buys certain things.They are discovering what it's like dealing with the controller. She buys what she wants, what she likes, and everyone else will comply. That's not her problem. It's now comical,yet sad to watch her struggle and mess up buying the weekly supply for 9 people, and how she blames everyone else for not reminding her, or writing everything down. Always someone else's fault, not hers, someone else is to blame. Half of us are going out to the store buying what she doesn't get. thank god your kids are old enough to basically take care of themselves greatcoastal or they'd starve, wearing dirty clothes etc while on your STBX's watch. MAYBE she will appreciate you once this thing is officially over. DEFINITELY you will find a woman that WILL appreciate you for you - regular game of horizontal aerobics will be nice too I'm sure.
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