Post by rejected101 on Jan 4, 2017 8:57:03 GMT -5
So I'm new to this site and I have therefore got many experiences to share. This is my second post in as many days.
About 4 years ago (before I ever raised the sexless life my wife and I have as an issue) I asked my wife a question. She had no clue why I was asking. I asked her 'If you had a £1 million a year job, no children, no interest in children, no partner, no interest or time for a partner, would you settle for a life with no sex...ever! I won't bore you with the context of how I brought this subject/question up but I'll head straight for the answer she gave which may interest some of the people who are in the same boat as me. She said
'NO I wouldn't settle for never having sex. I'd probably have very infrequent sex but I would definitely have sex'.
Like a lion stalking its prey I seized the opportunity to back her in to a corner she couldn't escape from (metaphorically speaking as she wasn't actually even aware of my agenda) and I followed up with another question. I asked
'In that scenario, if there was a male version of you (uninterested in kids or marriage just the career) and you really fancied him and visa versa, how often would you schedule sex with him if it was totally your choice?
She replied 'Around once a month or so I suppose'.
The point of this story is that I am my wife's husband (to point out the obvious). I clean her house, I pick up her shit off the floor, I co raise her children, I work a 50 hour week and am the main bread winner, I was the one she stood with in front of all our friends and family on our wedding day and listened to her say 'this is the man I want forever' and yet with regards to sex, I'm offered nothing more than the imaginary business associate I invented 4 years ago who she has no feelings for.
I've learned a tough lesson in my marriage which is that sex can completely ruin a relationship. When there is a significant gap in how often people want sex this little thing called compromise becomes very very important. The issue is that most people won't compromise on sex if they are getting what is perfect for them.
About 4 years ago (before I ever raised the sexless life my wife and I have as an issue) I asked my wife a question. She had no clue why I was asking. I asked her 'If you had a £1 million a year job, no children, no interest in children, no partner, no interest or time for a partner, would you settle for a life with no sex...ever! I won't bore you with the context of how I brought this subject/question up but I'll head straight for the answer she gave which may interest some of the people who are in the same boat as me. She said
'NO I wouldn't settle for never having sex. I'd probably have very infrequent sex but I would definitely have sex'.
Like a lion stalking its prey I seized the opportunity to back her in to a corner she couldn't escape from (metaphorically speaking as she wasn't actually even aware of my agenda) and I followed up with another question. I asked
'In that scenario, if there was a male version of you (uninterested in kids or marriage just the career) and you really fancied him and visa versa, how often would you schedule sex with him if it was totally your choice?
She replied 'Around once a month or so I suppose'.
The point of this story is that I am my wife's husband (to point out the obvious). I clean her house, I pick up her shit off the floor, I co raise her children, I work a 50 hour week and am the main bread winner, I was the one she stood with in front of all our friends and family on our wedding day and listened to her say 'this is the man I want forever' and yet with regards to sex, I'm offered nothing more than the imaginary business associate I invented 4 years ago who she has no feelings for.
I've learned a tough lesson in my marriage which is that sex can completely ruin a relationship. When there is a significant gap in how often people want sex this little thing called compromise becomes very very important. The issue is that most people won't compromise on sex if they are getting what is perfect for them.
