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Post by bballgirl on Jan 4, 2017 13:44:25 GMT -5
Maybe it's just me but let me relate a story from my childhood: My younger brother was the sweet baby golden child star athlete. We both did something wrong fighting with each other but it was really more the blame of my brother, so when my father came home from work he said because he didn't want to punish my brother - "I can punish both of you or neither one of you" and I was pissed about what my brother did to me so I said "fine then punish us both". So I was locked in my room for no good reason but I made my point. I understand your point completely but it gets to a point where why does he only get sex when she wants it?! She needs a taste of her own medicine. In fact if it were me I'd leave the room as well, watch some porn and have the loudest screaming orgasm without her. But that's me! Sounds good to me. Especially the screaming orgasm bit. Well I can assure you that it is something I'm working on. At the very least I've begun making myself more unavailable to her and I will get to a point where I swat her hand away like she has mine over the years. What's good for the goose is good for the gander!! Also the saying - Treat people the way you would want to be treated. I am a very giving person and I no longer have time or room in my life for takers. Stay strong and find your happiness!! |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jan 4, 2017 14:20:08 GMT -5
Well this is the million dollar question. I think from my perspective it works like this. If you are married, or you live as a married couple, what is important to your partner should become important to you. My wife loves receiving spontaneous gestures like flowers, a hand written card with loving words, she loves being surprised with by a spontaneous date even if that is as simple as a trip to the cinema or going bowling and some grub. I would not miss buying flowers or writing cards for if I were to stop. Imagine if I were to apply the same thinking as you've highlighted above! So I will buy flowers and write cards when and only when I fancy doing so. Pleasing her is no longer my priority, pleasing myself is my is. I'm sick of her keep asking if we can go out on a date, go for a meal and so on. I'll go when I fancy it, when there's something on at the cinema that I want to watch. Imagine if you apply that attitude to your relationship. What happens is a total collapse. Yes at that point it becomes a shithole marriage. That's what I did. I detached from my H and my marriage because of my anger and resentment. Never went to movies together or out to eat just us. If we were together it was with the kids. All that happened was the anger and resentment grew on both our parts and eventually divorce. I did ask for sex and tell him I wanted it but nothing changed and eventually I no longer wanted sex with him and then the anger and resentment grew even more until I couldn't be married anymore. Marriage is about compromise and compatibility in and outside of the bedroom. She better wake up before there are no more roses to smell. If she cares about you then she will want you to be happy. What if I told my H that I've decided I'm not going to cook anymore I'm just happy to eat a bowl of cereal every night - that would not have flown and a couple of times a month I would make his favorite meal and eat it even though it wasn't my favorite because that's what you do when you care about someone. So surely she can give you your favorite 2 or 3 times a month if she cares about you. Bloody perfect BBG! She's got that down rejected101! |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jan 4, 2017 14:30:17 GMT -5
Ok...I can clarify it for you. Your wife does not like sex and she does not love you enough to do something she does not like just to please you... For her it is a nessessary evil... to make kids or do it sometimes(less and less, preferably never) just to stop you to pester for more... So, what are you going to do with this knowledge? You can't change her... I disagree with some of what you say. I leave it 6 weeks and when I get in to bed she is the one stuffing my hand down her knickers like some sex crazed person. It's definitely not that she has no sex drive and it's not a necessary evil. Another 6 weeks and the same again. It's simply like she can't help but want to be in total control of where and when and will go for it when groin is already on fire. There seems to be. I willingness to go to bed and use foreplay to light the fire, she'd rather just wait weeks for her groin to set its own fire if that makes sense? Mine expects the same exactly. Except his loins never even reach room temperature!! His loins stopped giving a shit many moons ago. I know they work, I'd say since I came on here last June there have been 2 or 3 times he has tried to "reset" me so I can't say we never have sex. If he tried again before I leave him(soon) I will have the pleasure of rejecting him for the first time in our 17 years! That would feel amazing. |
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Post by rejected101 on Jan 4, 2017 15:36:05 GMT -5
I disagree with some of what you say. I leave it 6 weeks and when I get in to bed she is the one stuffing my hand down her knickers like some sex crazed person. It's definitely not that she has no sex drive and it's not a necessary evil. Another 6 weeks and the same again. It's simply like she can't help but want to be in total control of where and when and will go for it when groin is already on fire. There seems to be. I willingness to go to bed and use foreplay to light the fire, she'd rather just wait weeks for her groin to set its own fire if that makes sense? Mine expects the same exactly. Except his loins never even reach room temperature!! His loins stopped giving a shit many moons ago. I know they work, I'd say since I came on here last June there have been 2 or 3 times he has tried to "reset" me so I can't say we never have sex. If he tried again before I leave him(soon) I will have the pleasure of rejecting him for the first time in our 17 years! That would feel amazing. Honestly I don't know how you have coped with that little sex! I almost feel a bit of a fraud commenting as there aren't many months we we don't have sex once. I just find the injustice of her having sex whenever she pleases part of the issue. If she is horny we have sex, if she isn't horny it's impossible to kiss and touch until she is in the mood. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jan 4, 2017 15:43:15 GMT -5
Mine expects the same exactly. Except his loins never even reach room temperature!! His loins stopped giving a shit many moons ago. I know they work, I'd say since I came on here last June there have been 2 or 3 times he has tried to "reset" me so I can't say we never have sex. If he tried again before I leave him(soon) I will have the pleasure of rejecting him for the first time in our 17 years! That would feel amazing. Honestly I don't know how you have coped with that little sex! I almost feel a bit of a fraud commenting as there aren't many months we we don't have sex once. I just find the injustice of her having sex whenever she pleases part of the issue. If she is horny we have sex, if she isn't horny it's impossible to kiss and touch until she is in the mood. You have been handed a magic 8 ball. "Magic 8 ball, will sex get better and fill my needs?" Answer, "don't count on it". |
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