fred
New Member
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Post by fred on Apr 22, 2016 7:51:37 GMT -5
I've been married to an asexual for sooooooo looooong I can't remember being single. Just found this board. Not so much looking for "kindred spirits" as just a place to rant. sorry..................
What is it that prevents us from just leaving ?? Love  Corny, huh ? BUT, as Charlie Brown said while looking up the chimney before Christmas: "Hard to believe that fat guy gets down there with that big bag..................................(loudly): BUT I BELIEVE !"
Bad morning. Threw the dice and snake-eyed again. Even when she "submits", after completing the act I feel like a child molester. (She's well over 60....)
Been this way for our whole marriage (well over 30 years). To the casual observer, our marriage is really great; if they only knew.
If an opportunity for an affair cropped up I'd give it such serious consideration, but then again, my confidence level is somewhere below whale poop, and as you know, that's the lowest thing on the planet.
OK pity pot stored for the remainder.
Hope your day is better than mine but if not remember; things change (or do they ?)
Love, Fred
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2016 8:04:08 GMT -5
Well you've come to the right place to rant! Everyone here understands that need and you'll see plenty of it here. You'll also find support and advice if you want it. Being in a SM is so difficult and it helps to know you aren't alone. Welcome to our group - read through some of the posts here and you'll see that you are in very good company.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2016 8:33:34 GMT -5
You're in a judgment-free zone here, Fred. Welcome. We undestand, support, empathize and keep each other smiling.
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 22, 2016 8:54:00 GMT -5
Welcome Fred.
Feel free to rant as much as needed.
You have found the best group of people for support.
Why do we stay? That reason is different for everyone but that's a better question than Why won't he/ she have sex?
I left and I do ask why I stayed so long?
There were a lot of reasons like kids and money.
No cookie cutter solution for anyone but know that you have found a place to not feel alone and to have support.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2016 9:08:57 GMT -5
I am sorry Fred. No one here will judge you for staying, and no one here will judge you for leaving. But I do know that you are an amazing person to have been able to put up with this for so long.
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Post by RumRunner on Apr 22, 2016 9:13:48 GMT -5
I've been married to an asexual for sooooooo looooong I can't remember being single. Just found this board. Not so much looking for "kindred spirits" as just a place to rant. sorry..................
What is it that prevents us from just leaving ?? Love Corny, huh ? BUT, as Charlie Brown said while looking up the chimney before Christmas: "Hard to believe that fat guy gets down there with that big bag..................................(loudly): BUT I BELIEVE !"
Bad morning. Threw the dice and snake-eyed again. Even when she "submits", after completing the act I feel like a child molester. (She's well over 60....)
Been this way for our whole marriage (well over 30 years). To the casual observer, our marriage is really great; if they only knew.
If an opportunity for an affair cropped up I'd give it such serious consideration, but then again, my confidence level is somewhere below whale poop, and as you know, that's the lowest thing on the planet.
OK pity pot stored for the remainder.
Hope your day is better than mine but if not remember; things change (or do they ?)
Love, Fred
You are NOT alone!!!! I am in an almost identical place! |
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Post by lwoetin on Apr 22, 2016 23:48:44 GMT -5
What is it that prevents us from just leaving ?? Love Corny, huh ? BUT, as Charlie Brown said while looking up the chimney before Christmas: "Hard to believe that fat guy gets down there with that big bag..................................(loudly): BUT I BELIEVE !"
fred, good to have you in the forum. This is a good place to rant. They give you stars ****** the more you do so. You both have stayed in your marriage for 30 years because of love. (Do you have children?) I am not sure if I should feel sorry for you. How many couples here can say that? I don't go into people's private lives enough to know what a good marriage is like. I am on shaky ground right now. My marriage is also hanging on because of love. Sorry for asking a very personal question (and you may quote Charlie Brown, or Al Bundy, in your reply). Do you regret having been married to your wife for 30 years now? |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2016 11:28:50 GMT -5
Opportunity + Viagra = Confidence
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Post by Frustrated1978 on Apr 25, 2016 23:12:31 GMT -5
Fred welcome to the group no one here ever thought they would belong too.
The people are friendly, the advice is good use it to vent, learn, and grow.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2016 19:40:45 GMT -5
Bad sex is better than no sex at all. If you don't agree try going without for a couple of decades.
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Post by SweepyBear on Apr 26, 2016 20:06:52 GMT -5
A newbie to the site, so dipping my toe in for the first time. Long marriages usually hide the most secrets, why do we stay ? I think with us older souls its a sense of duty and the willingness to do no harm.
With every year your confidence does dwindle, its pretty much inevitable, maybe thats why we congregate
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Post by LITW on Apr 27, 2016 13:28:46 GMT -5
Welcome Fred, you are among friends here.
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fred
New Member
Posts: 18
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Post by fred on Mar 15, 2017 11:03:33 GMT -5
Yeah, I guess I do regret it but then so many great memories (but none involving what some like to call "the act of love"...........)
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Post by lakeside4003 on Mar 15, 2017 11:47:19 GMT -5
sorry to welcome you to our group, but there is some great solace and advice here - and ranting is cathartic!!
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Post by rejected101 on Mar 19, 2017 18:30:41 GMT -5
Welcome Fred and rant a way as much as you like. Also, if you want somewhere else to rant, try registering on the aven website. I have learnt a few things on there which mostly boil down to the fact that asexuals feel it is fine to marry under false pretences as there aren't enough of them.
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Corny, huh ? BUT, as Charlie Brown said while looking up the chimney before Christmas: "Hard to believe that fat guy gets down there with that big bag..................................(loudly): BUT I BELIEVE !"
