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Post by wewbwb on Jan 2, 2017 11:37:47 GMT -5
You are correct, no one is all bad as no one is all good.( Deliberately omitting Mother Teresa joke ) All I'm saying is that if your therapist never met him she shouldn't diagnosis him. If she thinks she has a diagnosis about him, she shouldn't discuss it with you. What she should be doing is giving you tools to handle the situation.
At the heart of the matter is this:
You are not happy. He is unwilling to address it.
What is left?
(It doesn't really matter if it is narcissism, video games, drugs, cars, stamps, football, golf or taking out the garbage. You are unhappy and he is unwilling to do anything about it. If you can't even have the discussion about it, whats left?)
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jan 2, 2017 11:41:23 GMT -5
GeekGoddess I have to say again that you are so on the ball. I really think you are on the right path lady, and will continue this journey of yours with real love, compassion, and understanding of other human souls. But you will protect and be kind to yourself first. That's the critical bit for team empathetic! So inspiring xxx
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Post by Deleted on Jan 2, 2017 11:50:01 GMT -5
You are correct, no one is all bad as no one is all good.( Deliberately omitting Mother Teresa joke ) All I'm saying is that if your therapist never met him she shouldn't diagnosis him. If she thinks she has a diagnosis about him, she shouldn't discuss it with you. What she should be doing is giving you tools to handle the situation. At the heart of the matter is this: You are not happy. He is unwilling to address it. What is left? (It doesn't really matter if it is narcissism, video games, drugs, cars, stamps, football, golf or taking out the garbage. You are unhappy and he is unwilling to do anything about it. If you can't even have the discussion about it, whats left?) Well amen to that wewbwb!! Maybe you should be my therapist! You've given me more advice in a paragraph than she has in 8 years! To be fair, what she has done is to gently get me to see and understand myself and the dynamic. She's encouraged my (long) process of personal growth. And encouraged me to make and execute a plan. What you've done is distilled all of our marriages down to the central issue - we're unhappy, they won't address it, game over. Simple but incredibly profound. Here's to 2017 and new beginnings for all of us! |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 2, 2017 11:52:16 GMT -5
GeekGoddess I have to say again that you are so on the ball. I really think you are on the right path lady, and will continue this journey of yours with real love, compassion, and understanding of other human souls. But you will protect and be kind to yourself first. That's the critical bit for team empathetic! So inspiring xxx Agreed, EO! GeekGoddess got the insight goin' on!! |
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Post by DryCreek on Jan 2, 2017 12:11:10 GMT -5
What you've done is distilled all of our marriages down to the central issue - we're unhappy, they won't address it, game over. [Elle] Drops mic. Walks away. |
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Post by Pinkberry on Jan 5, 2017 1:47:49 GMT -5
I don't play a mental health professional on the Internet, but I will say that perhaps it doesn't matter whether the diagnosis really fits. If someone's partner has narcissistic traits and that definition is the closest one can come up with for a label to name the problem, then whatever. Honestly, calling it one thing or another helps the refused organize it in their own mind. It's not as though a diagnosis would change the outcome. Either the refused can live with these traits or they cannot, regardless of what we may call them.
Of course, I don't encourage people to throw around armchair diagnoses in a court of law or in front of children or other public venues if they are not certain. There are limits to what one should do.
For what it's worth, my children's therapist who did some family therapy with my ex and the kids and the family therapist who worked with them as a group for months both said they felt NPD was an appropriate diagnosis for my ex, but ultimately neither of them were HIS therapist. Furthermore, even if they were his therapist, it mostly doesn't matter in the case of NPD. There is no medication that will help and therapy rarely produces results. But I will say that it was gratifying to have my suspicion confirmed by objective professionals even though it made no difference whatsoever in family court and won't motivate the ex to seek any sort of therapy for that or to become a better parent or more empathetic human. It's a shitty bottom line for sure.
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