Exit Plan Template?

Point taken. Any advice on what to look for in a lawyer? 

Fortunately Texas a no fault state. And personally iI'dprefer a negotiated / collaborative divorce. After all even if we are no longer married due to the kids we will still have to interact for decades to come. A scorched earth divorce case doesn't seem like a good way to begin that phase of our relationship.

By "shopping" for an attorney you are also limiting your wife's choices. Every attorney you see for a consultation, (free, or a small fee) is someone who know can not represent your wife due to a conflict of interests. 
This can be to your advantage in a small town. 

You will walk away from each consultation with more and more useful information, along with a new set of questions too. Not a bad thing. This shows you are narrowing the field and learning more.

Financial consultants, bankers, accountants, pastors, therapists, are all people who work with attorneys, see them in action, and can advice you. Do not be fooled by on-line recommendations and 5 star ratings. People pay to have good things said about them.  People who do mediation for a living have seen it all, that could be a good place for advise as well.

Recommend an attorney for your wife. Yes, help yourself by helping her. When my attorney found out who my wife was using for her attorney, I was told, "she is a fair, experienced attorney who is easy to work with, we have resolved many cases together." You will walk away feeling confident with that. Attorneys know much about each other as well.

Start giving thought to custody. Which days of the week you want the children. All I can share with you is the limbo I am going through, not sound experience.

1) Your attorney, her attorney will both recommend full custody. Just part of the process. Reality is a 50/50 split.

2) Even with a 50/50 split be aware of the pitfalls of longer stays with a controlling ex. Manipulation galore of what a terrible father you are. Then you get a weekend with the kids to try and undue all that. Don't let that happen.
 
3)Kids may decide who they want to be with.  (legally under 18 they have no say) They are looking out for their wants more than their needs. Who ever will comply with their wants, who ever they feel caves to them easier. Your attorney will have experience in this area.

4) You may get offered Mon. Wed. Sat. Sun.  That stinks! Every weekend? I personally like one week on one week off. That gives me 14 days a month to myself, including two weekends. Hello dating world! Help out were needed, doctor visits, and emergencies.

5) I am hoping two separate households, two different neighborhoods, (zip code therapy) will be a win, win, for everyone. Same school district, I may even rent, in 4 yrs the last one is 18 yrs old, school district wont matter, I'll be free. I wont need the big house. I'll be old enough for a 55 and over community. (even those allow kids every other week)
My teens can have friends in both neighborhoods, all at the same school.

6) Packing and travelling back and forth? Not needed. There will be enough of everything at both households, computers, clothes, toiletries, cars, etc...

7)Holidays, birthdays, relatives visiting? Whatever, or however things land on the week to week schedule. From year to year.

Lastly, these are teenagers. They hardly know that mom and dad exist, until they need money. They want to live in there own worlds for now. Engulfed in phones , computer games, school work.,and the munchies!  They have been seeing the detachment for years. Remember what stages they are going through in there life. You will have a new level of self confidence, the old rejected you can now be your true self around your  young adults. Enjoy your times together. Increase discipline were needed (like cleaning up after themselves), gain back trust and respect. Love and admiration will flow from it.

Damn, greatcostal, this is exactly the type of advice I was looking for when I opened the thread!  Wish I could like it x10.

Ironically, I work about 30 miles away, so it might be easier for me to go attorney shopping closer to work.  It would be easier to meet during the day rather than driving all the way home then all the way back to work if necessary.

This.

shamwow, hiring an attorney should be like shopping for something expensive - you do a lot of homework before picking one. This person will be your guide, therefore you must have confidence in their ability and trust them. Their skill will have tremendous impact on your life to come, so diligence is important.

I would suggest interviewing at least 3, and up to 6, in person. Yes, it will take a lot of time. As greatcoastal point out, the more you talk to, the better you understand the process, the more points of reference you have for evaluating the person across the table, and the better / deeper your questions can be (which will help to draw out more about their skill and character).

Are they sharp? Experienced in similar cases? Ethical and fair, or dirty fighter / scorched earth approach? Express an interest in mediation and controlling costs? What's their cost structure and how are payments made? Would your case be handled by an attorney, or their farm of paralegals?

In my geography, the state bar association offers a referral service to lawyers in the specialty of interest. It doesn't guarantee any level of skill, but might be better that trawling the yellow pages for the guys with the biggest ads (who will take a cookie-cutter approach).

Go kiss some frogs...